Why did you have children (or not)?

by JustAThought 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Silverleaf
    Silverleaf

    I have two children, ages 6 and 3, who were planned. My husband and I felt we would just be more complete with children - we wanted to be a family, not just a couple.

    I think there are a lot of reasons why people have children, the big one being that there is a genetic, instinctual drive to procreate. A species that had no desire to create more of its own would die out and whether we were created or we evolved, it would not make sense for us not to have a desire to continue the species. I don't feel, however, that procreation is a necessity for everyone or that those who chose not to do it are in any way selfish.

    I have great respect for people who can say they chose not to have children for whatever reason. Anyone who can recognize that they are not interested in parenting and can back that up by not becoming a parent, is counted as wise in my book. It's the people who don't want to be parents and can't seem to figure out how NOT TO that need a good swift kick.

    I think there are lots of wrong reasons to have kids - like, because your family insists on it ["When are we getting grandchildren?"] or because you want an excuse not to work or not to educate yourself or not to think about anything other than changing diapers, or because you think God wants you to whether you want to or not or because you have everything else and you don't want anyone to have an experience that you haven't had [no offense but those high powered corporate moms who have the nanny picked out before they even conceive the child get on my nerves]. I think the best reasons to have children are, because you have the love and the energy and the desire to pass on some of yourself to another human being. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you are cognizant of the sacrafices and challenges you're going to face.

    JMO

    Silverleaf

  • Mommie Dark
    Mommie Dark

    My older sons were not planned, they were byproducts of youthful stupidity. I'm lucky they turned out as nice and decent as they did, because I did everything possible wrong in raising them. My youngest was a planned event. He is getting the benefit of my deculting in his upbringing. When the big boys were little I had boundless energy and very little patience; Little doesn't remember my pre-crip active days but he does get my patient attention whenever he wants or needs it. (Fortunately there are other able-bodied adults around to do the park and sports thing with him.) I wish with all my heart I had been brave enough to raise the older kids without cult chains. Watching Little's mind blossom without a fear governor is a wonderful precious thing. Each day is a new adventure with him!

    Yesterday was his tenth birthday and he is having his party Saturday. Shhh! A Dragonball Z cake and a couple of cool new Lego toys are ready for him...

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