I used to have discussions with my mother about the WTS' beliefs. After 20 years she could not explain some of the most basic teachings. Even if she did research she would not have been able to explain even one doctrine. But then neither could I!
It sounds like neither of you were dumb enough to "understand" bunkum - but the wts strived to keep you dumb, denying you the language to express what you already knew - humility would have led you to call a spade a spade, but they confused you with saying it means subservience - one needs language, the word, to see them as they are.