How do I help my JW friend?

stillAwitness

She's the same age as me; 22 but has the mentality of a 16 year old. She has been itching to get married the past couple of months b/c in her mind: the only way she will be able to be out of her parents' control is to finally get married to a "fine witness brother"

I told her why not go back to school and while you do that save up money to find your own place? But she complains of the bills she already has from buying a new car recently and the fact that her mother would never allow her to move out (her sister also and she's 24!)

Its so sad. I mean, I have it rough but at least I know what's the real truth and my head is on straight. Plus, I've expirienced dating, men, being in the real world and whatnot so when I'm ready to make a move I will be prepared.

But if you only see my friend: she gets all giddy around guys in the hall, only talks about being married even though she has never even dated anyone and I don't even think she knows about sex at all.

How do I help her without sounding like an apostate?

Shazard

So you are 22 hmmm :) :) :)
"How ya doin... ;) "

EAGLE-1

Talk to her on her level even if you come off sounding 16 yourself.Talk to her on a human level without the religious views.Humans need company.She maybe talking to you because your the ONE she trusts.Lots of people marry to get away from home.I would treat her like she really is my sister not just the tag we all used to use.

Remind her that decisions she makes can now determine her future.

ColdRedRain

Take her to Minnesota with a bottle of everclear and don't look back.

jwfacts

Hi Stilla, you've been quiet lately, I've missed your threads.

It's late so I can't think of any great reply. If she is an air head you will probably have a hard time getting through to her without getting yourself in trouble. But maybe question how she feels about the Truth just to get her thinking. Ask her questions that get her thinking about the future. Will she have kids in this system? How long till the end, does she really need to get married if it is so close when she can wait for a perfect brother. You may find she doesn't really believe, or if she starts thinking she may start questioning things a bit deeper too., without you having to say anything apostate to begin with.

rebel8

her mother would never allow her to move out

(taking a deep breath after having a flashback from my early adulthood)

Ummm.......challenge her on the concept of her mother "allowing" her to move out. She has no legal authority over this woman. She is an adult & needs to get into the driver's seat. Maybe you can ask her if she thinks Jehovah holds her personally responsible for her actions & not her mother? If so, then shouldn't she start taking personal responsibility for making decisions & plans? Would a fine bro even be interested in a woman who doesn't know the first thing about independent adulthood? (There must be some Youth book quote you can throw in there about that, or isn't there a scripture in Proverbs about a wife's value if she is skilled in running a household? Well running a household today entails a lot more than cooking and sweeping--it requires knowledge about how the world works so you can manage your finances etc.)

I don't know how you could talk her out of the marriage idea, because as she probably sees it, it is her only way out....(and sorry to mention this again, but maybe this woman is thinking it's btr to get married now in case that teaching about celibacy in the New System is true.....).....but what a bad idea it is for someone so emotionally immature to get married, and for all the wrong reasons....man!