I need some input or advice or an attorney that would like to take on some JWs. Just a little history about myself so it’s clear about my connection to this situation. I am 50 yrs old and have been out of the organization for 26 years. I divorced my JW husband 26 years ago as well. He remained a JW and is in the process of his 3rd divorce. He and I have two children together that are now adults. We have stayed in contact all these years and miraculously we are friends. He is now making his fade out of the organization. After many years of doubts the Child Molestation cover up sent him over the edge. He was raised a Witness by a mentally ill mother and basically an emotionally and physically abused Witness father. His father finally left the mother when my ex husband was 18. He is now 56. His mother became increasingly mentally ill. She didn’t bath or clean her house. She seldom left the house and listened to the meetings by telephone. (I can’t think of anything more torturous than that). My ex husband and his current soon to be ex wife went to visit her a few years ago. The house was so incredibly filthy that they tried to clean just so they could stay there and she became angry and refused to let them even clean the caked with dirt and grime doorknobs. She at 76 years old called my ex husband and said that she was in love with a 17 year old boy in the congregation. She said she wanted to marry him in the “New System” the boy played along with this insane crush and managed to get her to leave him $100,000 in her will. A year or so ago she called my ex husband all upset that the boy had gotten married, he was after all 20 years old almost getting too old to marry in the JW world. She was so upset that she threaten that she was going to take him out of her will because she truly believed he would wait for her and marry her in the new system. My ex husband is never shocked by his mother’s mental illness and she made his life a living hell as he grew up. A few years before this crush she was in love with another young man in the congregation and spread around to everyone that he and she were going to run away to Las Vegas and get married. He was an older man in his 20’s, lol. He married and again she was upset and felt betrayed. A couple months ago his mother at age 79 was found at the bottom of her stairs dead by the boy’s father who is an Elder in the congregation. My ex husband flew down and before they even had the funeral the boy’s mother was asking to meet with my ex husband who is the executor of the estate, so they could get her son’s money from the will. My ex was shocked at the insensitivity and the gall that this entire family had. My ex husband wife talked to the boy and right in front of his 20 year old wife he actually said “it was a tough decision who to decide to marry, my current wife or the (deceased)” He was actually trying to convince my ex’s wife that he considered being with my ex’s mom. I don’t want to speak badly about her, but I do want to be realistic. The kid’s father the Elder told my ex husband that she was so dirty that they had to put a blanket in their car before she could sit down and the whole car smelled with her in it. She couldn’t get a dentist to work on her teeth because they were so filthy; she refused to brush them. This 20 year old for the sake of $100,000 is trying to act like he would have been with her. My ex wants to fight him getting this money. When he went to her house and started going through her check register, he saw where she had written this kid and his parents $10,000 worth of checks. They were completely using a mentally ill person. They knew that she wanted to marry their teenage son. They knew she had to be mentally imbalance and they were accepting money from her. Completely unethical. This kid is constantly calling and showing up unannounced asking for his money. Legally you have 4 months to go over the will. I feel my ex husband is entitled to every penny. His mother put him and his father and now deceased brother through so much. Her own parents tried to have her committed because she was trying to kill her husband and my ex husband’s brother. He has this documentation, so he has proof of her mental illness. Any advise would be appreciated or the name of a good attorney that is willing to take this on or refer someone. This is a California case. Sorry this story is so long and hard to follow, it was hard to write as there is so much information. Thank you for any advise you can give.
Please Read, need advise or a good attorney
by Icansaylucky 23 Replies latest jw experiences
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jgnat
I need some input or advice or an attorney that would like to take on some JWs.
Just a little history about myself so it’s clear about my connection to this situation. I am 50 yrs old and have been out of the organization for 26 years. I divorced my JW husband 26 years ago as well. He remained a JW and is in the process of his 3rd divorce. He and I have two children together that are now adults. We have stayed in contact all these years and miraculously we are friends. He is now making his fade out of the organization. After many years of doubts the Child Molestation cover up sent him over the edge. He was raised a Witness by a mentally ill mother and basically an emotionally and physically abused Witness father. His father finally left the mother when my ex husband was 18. He is now 56. His mother became increasingly mentally ill. She didn’t bath or clean her house. She seldom left the house and listened to the meetings by telephone. (I can’t think of anything more torturous than that).
My ex husband and his current soon to be ex wife went to visit her a few years ago. The house was so incredibly filthy that they tried to clean just so they could stay there and she became angry and refused to let them even clean the caked with dirt and grime doorknobs. She at 76 years old called my ex husband and said that she was in love with a 17 year old boy in the congregation. She said she wanted to marry him in the “New System” the boy played along with this insane crush and managed to get her to leave him $100,000 in her will. A year or so ago she called my ex husband all upset that the boy had gotten married, he was after all 20 years old almost getting too old to marry in the JW world. She was so upset that she threaten that she was going to take him out of her will because she truly believed he would wait for her and marry her in the new system.
My ex husband is never shocked by his mother’s mental illness and she made his life a living hell as he grew up. A few years before this crush she was in love with another young man in the congregation and spread around to everyone that he and she were going to run away to Las Vegas and get married. He was an older man in his 20’s, lol. He married and again she was upset and felt betrayed.
A couple months ago his mother at age 79 was found at the bottom of her stairs dead by the boy’s father who is an Elder in the congregation. My ex husband flew down and before they even had the funeral the boy’s mother was asking to meet with my ex husband who is the executor of the estate, so they could get her son’s money from the will. My ex was shocked at the insensitivity and the gall that this entire family had. My ex husband wife talked to the boy and right in front of his 20 year old wife he actually said “it was a tough decision who to decide to marry, my current wife or the (deceased)” He was actually trying to convince my ex’s wife that he considered being with my ex’s mom.
I don’t want to speak badly about her, but I do want to be realistic. The kid’s father the Elder told my ex husband that she was so dirty that they had to put a blanket in their car before she could sit down and the whole car smelled with her in it. She couldn’t get a dentist to work on her teeth because they were so filthy; she refused to brush them. This 20 year old for the sake of $100,000 is trying to act like he would have been with her.
My ex wants to fight him getting this money. When he went to her house and started going through her check register, he saw where she had written this kid and his parents $10,000 worth of checks.
They were completely using a mentally ill person. They knew that she wanted to marry their teenage son. They knew she had to be mentally imbalance and they were accepting money from her. Completely unethical.
This kid is constantly calling and showing up unannounced asking for his money. Legally you have 4 months to go over the will. I feel my ex husband is entitled to every penny. His mother put him and his father and now deceased brother through so much. Her own parents tried to have her committed because she was trying to kill her husband and my ex husband’s brother.
He has this documentation, so he has proof of her mental illness. Any advise would be appreciated or the name of a good attorney that is willing to take this on or refer someone. This is a
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Icansaylucky
Hi jgnat, I'm not sure if you responded, all I see is my post under your name. Hmmm?
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jgnat
Hi, I have a mentally ill mother, too. She writes me in and out of her will depending on how much I've managed to annoy her this month. The last I heard it was all going to charity. I must have really ticked her off. She was even more angry when I congratulated her on her wise choice. I am of two minds for advice. Really three.
- I've decided to let my mother's will go wherever it lands. I have a greedy-guts brother who will likely try to take more than his share, but I finally concluded the legal hassle, the bitterness isn't worth it. I can live well without the money or the hassle. Perhaps your ex can "let go" too, for his own peace of mind. Otherwise he's going to be harrassed by this crazy JW family for YEARS. Is it WORTH it?
- This family illegally took advantage of your mother-in-law. There could be criminal charges in all this. I'd hand over your information to the local POLICE for investigation.
- For legal advice, get a lawyer. This is a discussion board. All you'll get here is opinions.
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jgnat
I reposted for legibility.
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serendipity
Hi I can say lucky,
What a mess! Are the police sure that the woman wasn't pushed down the stairs? As anxious as the scoundrels are to get the money, I'm suspecting foul play. I wish your ex the best in dealing with this. I hope there is an expedient legal remedy for him that won't cost an arm and leg.
Eduardo/Oroborus here is a lawyer, or maybe he just "plays one" on this forum. Perhaps he has some insight.
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BluesBrother
Well said, Jgnat
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looking_glass
Icansay - your ex will need to find a probate atty in his mother's state/county. That atty can do the appropriate research to determine what is defined as "mentally ill and/or unstable" "undue duress and/or pressure". The biggest fight will be proving her state of mind at the time of the writing of the last will. If she officially changed her will, it should have been prepared by an atty, witnessed by 2 or 3 people as well as a notary. Those people can be questioned to determine if the person was of sound mind and body at the time of the drafting of the will and signing the will.
Again, I would strongly suggest your ex contact a probate atty for a consultation. He should bring in every bit of back up he has as well as any witnesses that will attest to his mother's mental illness. Additionally, I would recommend that your ex consider pursuing crimminal charges against the family as well as the young man. He should inquire of the probate atty if it would be helpful to his probate case and it would not, then he should refrain from pursuing anything until after the estate has been fully probated.
I would not recommend your ex post here and carry on a conversation with someone regarding legal matters. Any conversations with outside individuals are deemed discoverable in most states.
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Synergy
I trust my attorney with everything...he even won the blood case for my kids against the JW ex husband. Got me everything I wanted in divorce/visitation/child support and can't stand that stupid religion. So if you're not too far away from FL I'll give you his info just send PM me.
Renee (of the legally blonde class)
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candidlynuts
maybe you can research some mental illness websites, i'm sure this has come up before and you might find some good advice/help from that quarter.
good luck , its a sad situation for sure.