Your Advice Needed! What Appears Like My Only Way Out....

by drew sagan 48 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  mkr32208

  I think you should get deep deep into it and then tell me who has got the contribution boxes from the assembly in their car.

  I'll take if from there...
• 

  hubert

  Maybe you can talk your wife into doing a "history study" of the Watchtower, just you and her.

  That might open her eyes. You can get all the scans from Steven Hassan, on his web site.

  You can check everything you find in libraries, I believe.

  Has she ever read "Crisis of Conscience"?

  Another good book and on line is "Captives of a Concept", by Don Cameron. He is on the forum, also. It deals with the "Faithful and Discreet Slave". Very good study.

  Hubert
• 

  sass_my_frass

  How do I help me and my wife out of something we arn't completely "in"?

  Also, you're forgetting that in your current status, you're in a perfect place to do an almost invisible 'fade'. You can get out with very little emotional damage. Yeah I know it's more complex than that.

  Whatever you choose, at the same time please do this; take up another interest, and get her some friends outside of the congregation. It will make things easier for both of you, and it's a very subtle push - realising that there aren't many 'bad associates' was a great thing in my life.
• 

  thecarpenter

  What might also help to to get material (pictures as a example) http://www.freeminds.org/history/cemetary.htm of the Watchtowers past and stick them in the den or leave them around the house. I have a few pictures of Russells pyramid and charts, one of them waiting to go to
  heaven
  

  Also, you might want a copy of all the child molestation news video on your desktop
  http://www.silentlambs.org/education/multimedia.cfm, audio downloaded at the freeminds.org website
  http://www.freeminds.org/wav/wav.htm
  from various talks including the 1975 incident.

  In addition, pick up several books (do it slowly so not to overwhelm her); personally,
  I picked up the two Franz books, the Olof book on the gentile times
  reconsidered, Expecting Armageddon by Jon R. Stone (basically a collection of
  essays by different researchers on various religious sects (most prominently the
  JW's) and the psychology of why people stay, absolutely amazing.... There are
  plenty of books out their, pick and choose which ones sound good.

  But from a practical stand point, she needs a support structure; without that,
  she will feel lost. Start developing friends outside the organization.
  What has really helped me was the support of my non-witness brother and his wife
  who listened to my vents and offered non judgmental support. At this point
  I plan on looking into nondenominational churches and a complete reading of the
  Greek scriptures and then the whole bible. I am also going back to college
  and taking a few courses, your wife may want a try at that.

  As Finally-Free mentioned

  Whatever you decide, the more you are
  involved with the JWs the more difficult it will be to leave. If you plan to
  leave, I strongly suggest both you and your wife develop a real-life support
  network of non JWs.

  I like what lovelylil done

  One thing I did learn was to take the
  time to find out what I really believed in. I simply told my hubby that I would
  respect his beliefs but that I needed a short time to figure out what I believed
  because I did not know at that point. I asked for some personal space. Then, I
  did not try to attack his belief in the JWs at all. Once I felt sure of what I
  believed and why then I went to my hubby and told him. It was still hard. He
  went crazy and threatened me with divorce. But, I told him that was his decision
  and I was in no way advocating it. And I gave him time to calm down and just
  kept treating him with respect. After that, as opportunity came up, I would ask
  him Q's that would make him think.

  All this advice sounds good to me
• 

  GentlyFeral

  First I want to exhort you to be true to yourself. "Deep cover" is just too damn exhausting.

  BluesBrother quotes drew sagan:

  How can I get her to understand how things are wrong and false, when she views them as unimportant?

  I don't know!! I have the same problem. I point out all the best arguments that I have learned. I tell her that things are not correct. She Agrees with me. The reply I hear is that "Well we will wait and see , if it is wrong Jehovah will correct us in his time – not yours " Or they say, "You could be right, but it is better to be wrong and on the inside, than right outside of Jehovah's Org." . They agree that the Org lacks love, has lost its way of late but still cannot bring themselves to consider that it is not led by the Almighty .

  I was like this for about ten years. I'm not sure that 607 would have been a deal breaker even if I'd known about it. I had strong faith in the self-correcting nature of "Jehovah's Organization".

  My husband left (mentally) long before I did – over issues that meant very little to me. He saw the moral and spiritual decay around him and withdrew. I could not withdraw until I realized that I myself had been infected. When I realized that I was being subtly penalized for following my conscience and living by the Golden Rule, I knew I had to leave; and I did so – in a matter of weeks.

  In other words, it won't be enough to give your loved ones just another opportunity to play the "imperfect men" card. But I'm pretty sure that anyone would jump ship once they perceive continued membership as absolute endangerment of spirituality.

  GentlyFeral
• 

  Finally-Free

  I had strong faith in the self-correcting nature of "Jehovah's Organization".

  I had no faith in any self correcting nature of the organization. As soon as I had evidence of WTS corruption I was gone. My ex said she knew the organization was corrupt, but "Jehovah would correct it in his own time." That made absolutely no sense to me. If that was a valid argument, then why was it not applied to all the other Christian organizations that so many JWs abandoned? Why didn't JWs wait for God to correct the problems in the Catholic, Anglican, and other churches instead of apostosizing from them? They like to condemn other religions for their problems, but refuse to live up to the same standard they try to set for others.

  W
• 

  sherrid

  Drew, here is something that i would highly recommend that you do, and do it stat, because as soon as ANYONE with 2 connected brain cells realises this, they will be long-gone, and stat!!

  First, get SEVERAL DIFFERENT COPIES OF THE BIBLE, including the New World "Translation" and open every single one of them to John the 8th chapter, where the story of the woman caught in the act of adultery is brought by the Pharisees to Jesus. What you will see is a VERY SIGNIFICANT PROBLEM!!! That story has been left OUT of the NEW WORLD "TRANSLATION" and is nowhere to be found!!! Now, i know there is a scripture that says something along the lines of going beyond the scripture, let that man be accursed.... well, Drew, i would certainly say that this meets that criteria!! The JW's have altered the bible for their own twisted reasoning, and will CERTAINLY experience the wrath of Jehovah, and will NOT inherit the Kingdom, if they continue serving an organisation that doesn't exist, or at least that has NO scriptural basis, and remaining in a "Religion" that obviously makes the bible say something it does not.

  Blondie, if you are reading this, perhaps there are other "errors" that can be easily pointed out???

  Christian Love

  Sherri D.
• 

  Finally-Free

  That story has been left OUT of the NEW WORLD "TRANSLATION" and is nowhere to be found!!!

  It's in my copy of the NWT, but appears in smaller text, almost like a footnote. I checked the Watchtower's online copy of the NWT, and it's there, with this just before it:

  * Manuscripts ?BSys omit verses 53 to chapter 8, verse 11, which read (with some variations in the various Greek texts and versions) as follows:

  One thing I noticed when I was a JW was that, in my 20 years there, no one ever referred to that bible passage.

  W
• 

  GentlyFeral

  Finally-Free,

  I had strong faith in the self-correcting nature of "Jehovah's Organization".

  I had no faith in any self correcting nature of the organization. As soon as I had evidence of WTS corruption I was gone. My ex said she knew the organization was corrupt, but "Jehovah would correct it in his own time." That made absolutely no sense to me.

  "Jehovah would correct it in his own time" - that argument will continue to stand until your loved one knows that she herself is in danger from the organization.

  • Is the bOrg intellectually dishonest? That won't matter to her, as long as she feels free to be honest.
  • Is the bOrg emotionally cold and cruel? That won't matter to her, as long as she feels free to be kind and supportive.
  • Does the bOrg assume all non-Witnesses are somehow subhuman? She'll remain a faithful drone until the day when she is punished or shamed for treating non-Witnesses like human beings.

  As long as she retains the freedom to act ethically in an unethical culture, she will stay. Until she knows the bOrg is corrupting her, she will stay.

  That's what happened to me.

  gently feral