How did you cope?

Zico

When you found out that this religion probably wasn't the one true religion like you had believed probably for a large portion of your life, or maybe even all of it, how did you react?

My whole life belongs to the Society. All my friends are Witnesses, my family are Witnesses, even my job is dedicated to the Society. I was born into the 'Truth' and up until a few months ago I was certain that I would one day be living eternally on a Paradise Earth. Now my faith is in pieces and I don't really have any idea what my future holds, there are thousands of members on this board, how could you all deal so easily with the realisation that you were actually no closer to understanding the purpose of life, or the real meanings of the bible, than all the other 'Worldly' ones who you probably once felt pity for?

ballistic

how could you all deal so easily

It wasn't easy. It may look it now. How can a complete life change be easy for anyone? I may be making sweeping generalisations but those that saw doctrinal problems slowly and researched and left of their own free will probably found it easier because they were in control of the situation to the extent possible (may still have to fade and hide etc). Some that were DF and came to their senses later like me had some very difficult times of confusion and feeling lost.

greendawn

I realised gradually that the jws were not the truth they claimed to be and so to me it never was a sudden shock. I saw that the JWs were worse than other religions that they accused ie the mainstream Christians though the latter also had many flaws.

lovelylil

Hi friend,

Believe me, although it seems like everything went easy for us, it did not. As for me, my marriage almost fell apart. And I have two young kids so I had to not only learn what I believe now, but opologize to my kids for what I taught them and then re-teach them. It has taken almost 2 years to get to the point I am at now. Thankfully my family is intact. One thing that helped me a lot is before I left the Org. I turned to God and Christ Jesus and prayed to them to help me build up my faith. I found some things I could keep that I learned thru the WT like who Jehovah was, what the kingdom of God is, that the Bible is inspired. But, I had to really learn about Christ and that took time. There were times I was so angry I would literally scream that I hate the WT. I spent long hours in tears and found myself opologizing to everyone around me for everything. For acting like a crazy person, for judging them as worldly, for not spending time with them, lots of things. Also, I can never opologize to my mom and dad who both died when I was a JW having spent almost no time with their grandkids (my kids) because we live in another state and did not do any holidays. But, I know when I see them again, I will have the chance to say sorry.

I read my bible a lot and relied on God in prayer. One big benefit I have gotten that I never would have gotten in the JWs is my close relationship with Christ and that I know I am in the new convenant. So this has been a major blessing. But it took time. I spent over a year with no one at all to associate with and I felt like I didn't exist in the world. One thing I should have done better was set up a support systems of new friends before leaving. So that is one thing I would suggest. But, it is very hard. When I found out that 200 verses were changed in the NT, I felt like someone hit me in the stomache and knocked the wind out of me. I went Nuts throwing things around, throwing my WT books out the 2nd floor window. I mean totally apes! I am just now at the point were I have let go of all the anger.

So, I really do feel for you because you are at the beginning of a stage most of us already went thru. The more you find out about the Org. the more you will see that it is just another man made religious institution. I will keep you in my prayers. Welcome to the board. Feel free to vent when you need too. And good luck to you. God bless too. Lilly

freedomlover

I was born in also. Also, thought I'd live forever in Paradise. It was devastating, heartbreaking, and I didn't know if I'd ever get over it when I realized all the lies.

It takes time. It takes patience. Just be true to yourself and your feelings. You'll figure it out and find your way. Life is WAY BETTER than it ever was before when I was in organization.

Hang out, keep reading, and posting. Vent here when you need to.

-freedomlover

jgnat

how could you all deal so easily with the realisation that you were actually no closer to understanding the purpose of life, or the real meanings of the bible, than all the other 'Worldly' ones who you probably once felt pity for?

I'm not a JW here, but my husband is. As far as I can see, IT'S NEVER EASY. I try to ease the transition by including lots of secular activities and friendships.

Ex-JW's are some of the bravest, most personally honest people you will ever find. They knowingly sacrificed acres of superficial relationships for honesty.

LittleToe

None of us found it easy.

My whole life was tied up in the JWs, as a married Elder being groomed for Circuit work. The revelation that they were far from being the "Truth" was a bombshell. Nonetheless I found I had to be honest and true, and inevitably left.

I took about four months from this decision to my final exit. During that time I made new friends outside of the JWs and (surprise, surprise) I found them to be at least as trustworthy as those I had previously thought paragons of virtue.

Over four years on it's becoming a distant memory

Bumble Bee

When you found out that this religion probably wasn't the one true religion like you had believed probably for a large portion of your life, or maybe even all of it, how did you react?

For me it was a gradual thing. Somethings did not feel right to me, and I gradually became inactive before I knew what things were wrong within the "org". It took me awhile to come to grips with my feelings, and my marriage did suffer at the time, thankfully it is stronger now. I started to make "wordly" friends and to distance myself from those at the hall. You say your job is dedicated to the society. What exactly do you mean by this? Can you find another job to help distance yourself? I still don't understand the purpose of life or the real meaning of the bible. I tried reading "The Purpose Driven Life" and couldn't finish it, it gave me more questions than answers. If and when God wants me to know these things He'll make sure I know. It's not easy having to leave those you think are friends behind, to face the possiblity of losing family members. But it may happen and we all deal with it the best way we know how. One thing that is for sure, you will find support here. BB

garybuss

I was a believing walkaway from 1974 until the Witness people started to shun me in 1992. Then I started doing some research. I think the two things that helped me the most was: #1. I did a study of how cults (high control groups) work and I could see Jehovah's Witnesses was just another not very unusual cult. #2. I studied the history of theism, Judaism, and Christianity and I could see the human design of divine design.

Once I could see religion as a business and theism as a myth, I was free from Witnessism, my parents' superstitions, and religion.

upside/down

First off...it wasn't easy.

Secondly... they forced me out...I never left...

Thirdly... I should thank them for opening my eyes to what I was really a part of...a lie!

It feels good to think for myself...not live in fear and not be paralyzed by unearned guilt.

The lack of love and the judgemental attitude of so-called "christians" is something I can definitely live without!!!

You'll be fine...

u/d(of the you don't know what you don't know class)

How did you cope?

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