There are things in life you cannot relate to, you just have to observe.
Before the generation change in 1995, I had read CoC and discussed it with my father who has been a JW since the late 60s and had a first-hand-experience on the 1975 fiasco. He admitted that there was some disappointment.
Then, in the late 90s there was some incident in the home congregation with a specific elder who behaved in a way that my father, also an elder, felt was unjust. For example this elder attacked a pioneer without any obvious substance when this JW was suggested as a MS. He could behave this way because he was brought into the "truth" and protectd by a very famous and influantial JW in Germany. He became an elder within a few years after baptism. The pioneer changed to another congregation.
However, my father has always had very strong feelings about what he perceives as just and unjust. Fairly, he also had a personal issue with this fellow-elder. He picked a battle about (unjustly) attacking this pioneer even writing letters to the Society. As so often in this cases, nothing happened.
My father resigned as an elder about this and became inactive. The Society sent him a letter stating they gave the local elders an advice, but he got no answers to his questions and no explanation what the given advice was. When the elders would approch him, he refused to talk to them if they did not answer his specific questions which they did not.
I sent him the link to the German XJW-forum, hoping he would see the truth behind the "truth". But he still had the feeling that JW had the "truth" and stated that the board is a bunch of "adulterers, homosexuals and spiritists" because there are some participants that could be labled this way.
He got the impression the Society was right about apostates after all and decided to get back active again - after approx. seven years. He went to a different nearby congregation and learnt that recently the elder who attacked the pioneer got DF for adultery and the famous, influential elder got a stroke and cannot speak anymore.
Now, my father feels somehow vindicated by Jehovah Himself (quoting Job 6:15-17) and has become more active than ever. He goes out in service almost every day and has even started some BS (pun intended). He is sure I left the JW because I have a guilty concience because of my unchristian conduct and tries to get me back to the JW. Despite we agreed not to discuss JW topics any more, he regularly mentions things trying to provoke me.
This he does with the JW-typical self-rightousness which makes me puke. The best example was that he wanted to make me promise I send our children to him when the Great Tribulation begins.
I just wanted to write this off my chest.
My Fathers Returns After Years of Inactvity - Now Even More Fanatical
by GermanXJW 19 Replies latest jw experiences
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GermanXJW
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noni1974
GermanEx,
I'm sorry to hear your father is like that.I hope he will open his eyes to what's going on around him.
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nelly136
just when ya think you're on a home run.......summat rocks the boat
((((((GXJW)))))))
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Dr Jekyll
He got the impression the Society was right about apostates after all and decided to get back active again - after approx. seven years. He went to a different nearby congregation and learnt that recently the elder who attacked the pioneer got DF for adultery and the famous, influential elder got a stroke and cannot speak anymore.
Oh no, now that this has happened and hes been "blessed" with a BS there's no way you are going to be able to stop him. With him thinking that Jehoovah is on his side it'll be like trying to stop a rampaging Elephant with a pee shooter.
Your dad sounds a bit fiery though and easily stumbled. Give it a while and one of those bastard dubs will piss him off again and when the bastard dub that upsets him isn't struck down by lightning there and then on the spot your dad will probably run off and leave again.
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ballistic
At least your dad still talks to you. Some people here have been cut off from their families. I must admit though it seems strange he got involved in boards then so entrenched again in the organisation. By the way, post a link to the German board so we can all go over and say hello.
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lisavegas420
This makes me sad
Years ago, I asked my dad..."What if you're wrong?" He said..."I can not be wrong. That would mean that I wasted the last 40 years of my life! I can not be wrong! End of discussion"
Allllrightttttyyy then.
lisa
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DannyHaszard
Sounds like a mixed dynamic of stockholm syndrome,cognitive dissonance and surrogate/displacement rage
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GermanXJW
Thanks for the link, DannyHaszard. Makes sense to me.
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Sunnygal41
GXJW, I can feel how disappointed you are that your dad returned to such a hypocritical organization that you have been able to free yourself from. I know that it must be a crushing disappointment, at least it would be for me if I had gotten my hopes up that my mom was leaving and then went back. I try to remember that my mom is an individual, and an adult, and had the right to pursue whatever makes her happy in life, just as I want for myself. It's sad that your dad cannot, at this point, abide by the guidelines you both agreed to. It may be that you will have to just step back for awhile and give him time and space. You cannot be expected to accept his disregard for YOUR rights as an adult. I am finding with having my mom still in, that if boundaries can be set and maintained, it works better for all involved. Good luck with your situation and keep us posted!
Terri
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ithinkisee
No offense, but when someone just gives someone a book or sends them to a website they are taking the lazy approach to getting their family/friend out.
If you really want your dad out, the last thing to do is send them to a website or forum where YOU DON"T HAVE CONTROL OF HOW THE INFORMATION IS PRESENTED TO HIM. As you can see with your father, he now has an opinion of apostates that unfortunately will probably never be reversed now.
However, if you had taken the time to formulate a gameplan and reasoned with him for sometime (could be months ... could be a year or more).
It bothers me sometimes to see how people just say "Go look at SilentLambs ... " or "Go look at the Quotes site". Just like the JWs do when they got your family members, you need to "prepare their mind" for what they are going to learn about "the Truth". It sucks to have to go that route, but that is what got your family into the JWs in the first place - you need to use the same strategy to extract them from it. It is a careful and sometimes painfully slow process. Sometimes all you want to do is scream out what you think they should know ... but it takes patience ... you need to wait for them to have that hunger for knowledge and have your shit together for when they do come to you looking for answers.
Never mention apostate literature.
Never mention websites.
-ithinkisee