Well, my wife flipped out. (page 2)

Finally-Free

I see this crap too many times and I see families destroyed by ex-witnesses going beyond where they should know to keep quiet. I'd suggest you think long and hard about continuing on with your "pushing her".....unless you want to live alone.

I agree it's best to focus on keeping the marriage intact, provided the marriage is worth saving. In some rare cases it isn't. I ended my marriage but religious differences were only part of the problem, and the marriage had to end even though I still loved my wife when I left.

W

rassillon

:Quote:

I'd like to know WHY you plan on pushing her more. Why? She's already close to "packing her bags"...yet you want to push her some more. Is there a reason you weant to push her some more? Do you love her? Does she love you? Then WHY push her out the door?

I see this crap too many times and I see families destroyed by ex-witnesses going beyond where they should know to keep quiet. I'd suggest you think long and hard about continuing on with your "pushing her".....unless you want to live alone.

Gumby

:EndQuote:

Gumby, you seem angry....I guess you have your reasons.

You are terming it "pushing" which I take slight offense to since this is not my way of doing things at all.

I can understand that it is not immediatly obvious the time factor involved in my planned revelation. Which may span months, who knows even years.

You have to understand something, I am a MS and have lots of responsabilities. That coupled with my wife's personality would cause all kinds of havoc if I just started doing less without good reason. You see, in a relationship like I have with my wife, we talk have a good time listen to each other (on most things) and encourage each other. She would be genuinely concerned about me and questions would ensue. If I avoided giving her a good reason for my actions we would drift apart because she would feel like I would be deceiving her which would be true if even for her own good.

So you tell me gumby, would you preferr I let my wife feel like I had stopped loving her (and all the things that come with that) and keep it to myself OR should I try in a very tactful way present evidence as to why I feel the way I do and reassure her that I love her as much as ever??

You don't know me nor my wife and I would appreciate you not using MY thread or experience to get on your soap box.

-R

jgnat

rasillon, I founded an underground group of UBM's (Un-believing mates) whose goal is to gently lead our partners out of the society. SUCCESSFUL partners go in with a plan, willing to take several years, if necessary, to gain success.

We are having some success.

You've readily admit that you love your wife and would prefer to keep her at your side. I suggest the agony over your post comes more from a desire to see you have success than anything else.

One proven element in presenting scary information to our spouses is to time it right. Learn to recognize when she might be in a receptive state of mind. I strongly encourage you to read Steve Hassan's book "Combatting Cult Mind Control" before you attempt to win your wife over. The book points out many newbie mistakes, if avoided, can save you years of misunderstanding.

Consider backing off for now.

BlackPearl

Papillon,

You started with John 1:1? It's a wonder she didn't shoot you! I would just let it lie for now, don't say anything else, just chill. In fact, just tell her that you love her and leave it at that for a while. The problem with this is that if you leave the org, she will see you as a dead man walking, may not want to continue the marriage thinking that you're not going to be paradise with her. It's a crapshoot from here.

freedomlover

welcome rassillon.

I don't think Gumby meant anyting harsh in his comments. he truly does wish you the best. Maybe I can give you a different perspective. I WAS one of those wives whose husband started sounding "apostate." I flipped out initially also. One of the things that made me pause about "turning him in" was that he received good advice here and he backed off from me for awhile. He started focusing on me and us. He would be generous with his time and affection and did little things for me. That was new for him and it made me reassured of his love and affection regardless of what happened in the future. It truly was a HUGE reason why I listened to him later.

you can read my husbands threads and mine under the member names...... ithinkisee and freedomlover

Your wife may have a touchy tempermeant and no approach may work, but coming from another woman I would suggest backing off for awhile also. Although, it sounds like you were going to take your time with this stuff anyway.

best of luck to you. you may have some more "flipping out" conversations but you can always come and vent here and get good advice here.

-freedomlover

Lady Liberty

Dear Rassillion,

I am so sorry you and your wife had to go through that. Unfortuantely, we were trained that anything that doen't sound like it supports Watchtower doctorine, smacks of Apostacy. I agree with the other posters, in that she will need space and time. Its hard to say if she will be able to reason on this issue, since it is deep and up until now, she has had no reason to question it, nor may she ever want to! I know that when my parents first told me why they really had been missing all those meetings, and went into all the issues, I just tuned them out! I was in utter shock! I felt like I was going to pass out, and to this day, I cannot tell you what was said. I pulled away from discussing anything spiritual with them for 2 years. Until one day a "movie" sparked something inside of me that I decided to check out. (see my intro. story). Anyway, she may react the same. It was the whole 607 issue that really got me "wake up". There are so many other issues, I realize that now, but this one issue, 607, is the one that opens up questions on all the OTHER issues. I think my parents tried to give me too much to digest at once. Thinking it may be their one and only shot. As they weren't sure if I would cut them off forever, as so many do to their loved ones. They of course realize now, it was way too much info. Like I said, I didn't hear any of it. Not that I was trying to shut them out, but I think I was in shock and my defence mechanism kicked in. Hang in there! Your wife will need your reassurance right now. Extra love and patience will play a big part on whether she will listen to you down the road. Like we have told you before, we are here for you.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

Dismembered

Greetings rassillon

It's amazing how anyone of them, who slightly gets challenged, goes ballsitic. You can even show them as you've done, and so have I in the past. They say the exact same thing. "Nope, it doesn't say that".

Dismembered

rassillon

let me get this straight for everyone.

I did not start anything, it was just a conversation.

It was an interesting point in the RS book.

I was not trying to start working on my wife, that is something in the future, I still have much research to do myself before I even consider that.

I just thought it amazing that something so inocuos that was actually in a currently used publication would trigger such a reaction and contemplated how such a reaction bodes for the future event which will at some point come.

If I did not convey this in my post, I apologize. I thought I did.

Please read carefully what I write, I generally try not to imply nor mean anything beyone what I write.

Oh yeah, another thing, I said it before but I want to make sure everyone knows. I don't believe in the trinity doctrine nor in the divinity of jesus, nor do I believe that the holy spirit is a person.

Thanks and sorry for the confusion.....R

Lady Liberty

let me get this straight for everyone.

I did not start anything, it was just a conversation.

It was an interesting point in the RS book.

I was not trying to start working on my wife, that is something in the future, I still have much research to do myself before I even consider that.

Dear Rassillon,

OOOOOOOHHHHH! We must have read your post wrong sorry. I guess we assumed you were using that conversation to try and begin showing her what you have discovered.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

TD

Rassillon, (Is that from Dr. Who?)

Could the Trinity be too much of a doctrinal "Hot potato" at this point?

The Witnesses have plenty of doctrinal quirks that are relatively "safe" to discuss. These are trivial, but they can help put someone on the road to thinking critically.

Was the Earth orginally a global semi-tropical climate?
If it was, how can we explain the lifecycle of creatures like the Emperor Penguin?
Why do trees synthesize their own anti-freeze?
Was the Earth originally an all vegetarian ecology?
If it was, then how can we explain the neccessity of scavengers to the decomposition chain? (e.g. Hyena, Maribou Stork, Vulture, etc.)
Why do scavenging birds that plunge their heads deep inside dead carcasses have no feathers on their heads? Did this useful feature evolve?
Will those resurected to life on Earth be unable to marry?
Was Jesus talking about a heavenly or earthly resurrection? (Matthew 22:30) Why or why not?
Will a child lost in a miscarriage be resurrected?
If no, (As the Society teaches) why is abortion wrong?

There are many others, but few, if any Witnesses are so brain-dead as to be completely innocent of "Closet Apostasy" in at least one area. Getting them to exercise and develop that thinking ability is the key.

Well, my wife flipped out.

Share this