I posted a little about this last night but I figured I would post the rest for you guys, this is the conversation that i had last night with the sister that studied with me. She called me and wanted to know if I had plans for the memorial, I told her that I would not be going this year and the following is the conversation we had:
Jw: Oh no, you can't miss the memorial, if you can't make it to the one in your hall why don't you cme to ours?
Me: Jw, you know I haven't been to a meeting in months, I would not feel right going to the memorial after I have not been to meetings for so long.
JW: but the memorial has nothing to do with going to the meetings, you can't miss it, please just come to the one in our hall.
Me: I'm sorry I can't.
JW: Lola be honest with me, what is going on with you?
*** at this point I should have kept my mouth shut and said nothing but did I? Noooooooooooooo.***
me: nothing.
JW: really, you mean to tell me that you have not been going to meetings or been out in service and are not going to the memorial and nothing is wrong?
Me: okay, I will be honest with you, I am having a hard time believing in Jehovah.
Jw: what do you mean?
Me: I mean that I can not understand why he allows so much suffering to go on when he has the power to make things better. If he is there and can make things better why hasn't he done so?
Jw: you mean you don't know the answer to that?
Me: I know what you are going to tell me, “wait on Jehovah, he will make things better” but what I don't understand is why he is taking so much time to make things better, I also don't understand how he can be a loving god and kill billions of innocent people.
Jw: but they are not innocent people, they are wicked and made a choice not to believe in him. Don't worry the end will be here soon, the end will come in our life time,not too much time left.
Me: how long has the society been saying that? And yet here we are and the end still has not come, it looks like Jehovah really is taking his time.
Jw: look at what's going on in the world, turn on the news things are getting worse all the time, there is no way Jehovah will let this continue for much longer, Lola the end will be here soon.
***and then I said a stupid thing***
Me: wasn't the end coming in 1975?
Jw: 1975 was nothing. It was a mistake. ( This kinda freaked me out because her voice just changed, it took on a really hard tone, kinda hardto explain)
There is more to this conversation but this got really long, I will post the rest later, because what I said after this is what might bring me before a JC.
lola