kwheeler, welcome to JWD! You've gotten some good advice and been asked some tough questions which you need to contemplate! Myself, I was DF'd nearly 50 years ago and at the time thought it was a scourge but soon realized it was totally meaningless. If my family wanted to shun me over it then I didn't want them in my life. Such conditional "love" I could do without. For decades I considered being DF'd by the JWs as a badge of courage, now it is so insignificant it is not worth mentioning.
I hope you will heed the advice of others to let go of this passion of needing approval by your dysfunctional mother and her aberrant cult.
I wish you well.
carmel