When Will I Not Be Considered Disfellowshipped Among the Congregation?

kwheeler

Here is a little background about myself. My mother raised me and my siblings in the JW faith. However, my father was not a witness and opposed a lot of the beliefs so you can imagine how our life was. As we got older, we started to realize for ourselves some beliefs we did not any longer want to follow. To make a long story short I wouldnt say we were outrageously rebelious but we wanted some freedom. When I moved away from home I got pregnant from a non-believer and shortly after the father of my baby moved in with me. My mother was furious and did not even want to visit me nor did she attend my baby shower. So time moves on three years later I finally marry the guy. She does not attend my wedding but I am now doing the right thing and not committing fornication. At this point to please my mother, I finally get baptized...Oh she is soooo proud of me. I get cards in the mail stating how proud she is of me. Life just seems so much better but now I go through obstacles with my husband at the time because he does not want me let alone also taking my daughter to the hall and out field service and the whole holiday stuff just created my problems in our relationship. So a couple of years goes by and my love for my husband is falling apart and I don't find him sexually interesting, we don't really communicate, and I find myself being more of a mother to him rather than a wife by picking up after him and plus I did not trust him because he was very flirtatious. So I decided to experiment myself. I went outside the marriage bed and had relations with another man who now to this day I am married to. Now because of the decision I made by defiling the marriage bed of my first marriage I was disfellowshipped. Now I am no longer defiling the marriage bed because I am not committing adultery nor fornicating, my first husband has been in numerous relationships and about to get married himself. But yet I am still considered disfellowshipped. I do not attend any of the meetings. I just can't see myself going back because it is too much negative energy that I've seen since being away from the congregation and the relationship I have with my mother. I was also told because of my position I cannot attend my own brother reception which is taking place this year which I think is a bunch of crap and my mother tells me "well its your fault"? And I turned my back on Jehovah. That's a bunch of crap too. There are many people in the congregation who are smoking weed, fornicating and more unbelievable activities but are not coming forth. The only difference is I came forth and confronted my sins to the elders. Now I regret even being open. I should have just let them figure it out and go on about my life. I have two other sisters who are also disfellowship. I understand why they are still disfellowshipped, but if one makes the situation right in my case, I am married now. Is this a subject I can right the governing body on? Someone explain to me please. Thanks

Legolas

Some people have to attend EVERY meeting for a few years before they are reinstated and thats if your 'attitude' is a good one!

Welcome to the board!

greendawn

Hi kwheeler, most people on this forum are ex JWs, from what you say I get the impression that you want to go back to the JWs but you are nonetheless not really happy with them as an organisation.

My opinion is that you should not go back to them as they never really reaccept the disfellowshipped or disassociated. I am sure you can live happily without them.

Dismembered

Greetings and welcome kwheeler

The only way you can get back into the "good graces" of that rat cult organization, is to go back to the KH and be humiliated by a bunch of mind-numb robots, who'll pretend you're not there, and, have the "take your medicine you bad girl" attitude. There's no way to appeal anything. You must sit in the "penalty box" as long as the idiot elders see fit. Is that worth the good graces of anyone? Do you have time for that? Come here instead and find comfort from many who have/are experiencing you same hurt! This place can help.

Dismembered

parlay

If you are not willing to go back to the meetings and go through the motions to make the elders think you

are truly repentant, you won't be reinstated. The fact that your husband being married to another woman

does mean that your marriage to him is now scriptural, but the elders are going to want more than that to reinstate you.

Your going to have to attend the meetings and tell them what they want to hear.

Some people go through the motions just to get reinstated, then they fade away.

Writing the Society will do nothing but get a copy of your letter fowarded to the elders,

who will then be offended that you went over their heads.

unclebruce

Is this a subject I can right the governing body on?

Yes, certainly kwheeler, they may grant you dispensation. And be sure to include some perfumed cash in US notes. They may be incontinent old men around 90 who have trouble remembering thier appartment number at Patterson but do still remmember the rustle of paper money and the scent of woman. <--- gumby made me say that

kwheeler

You all are funny. I do not want to reinstate my position in the Kingdom Hall. However, I don't want to be labeled as someone who has continued to sin and have those who are witnesses walk around and treat me as if I am invisible but will treat a stranger with more respect in which they have no clue about their background. That is what burns me up. Nevertheless, I guess I will continue to be labeled the big "D". Thanks.

Lady Lee

I don't want to be labeled as someone who has continued to sin and have those who are witnesses walk around and treat me as if I am invisible but will treat a stranger with more respect in which they have no clue about their background. That is what burns me up. Nevertheless, I guess I will continue to be labeled the big "D". Thanks.

At this point the supposed "sin" is not doing what you can to go back and be a real JW and follow all their rules.

And most sadly once you go back and they say you are re-instated you will always be labeled as "weak" and "dangerous" to others in the congregation.

Either your family accepts you as you are or they will cont8inue to treat you as an outsider.

There is no real forgiveness in this organization

Welcome to the forum

tall penguin

It took me a year and a half of meeting attendance to be reinstated. I wish I'd know then what I know now about the org. I wouldn't have bothered.
Educate yourself about the organization. Look at the "best of" section here. The more you see that the wts doesn't have "the truth" the less you'll care what the jw's think of you. You'll realize that you're better off without them in your life. And the healing will begin.
tall penguin

gumby

Welcome kwheeler,

Once you are Dfed, you'll always be Dfed if you never return to them.

I said to my wife onetime...." so then, for the rest of my life....even though I no longer want to be a witness , and even though I'm no longer recognised as such, my grandkids will have to shun me untill I die". She never answered, but her looks said "yes".

Isn't it a crazy policy? They on one hand tell people they do not force anyone to remain a witness, yet once you are baptized, you can never "tell them" you wish to quit them. A person who desires to leave them must do so ever so tricky like..( we call it "fading" here).

Even when one "tries" to leave quietly, it's not uncommon for elders to pay you a visit and ask you WHY you have been absent. You either have to lie in order for them not to take judicial action against you, or tell them why and face the consequence of being termed "Disassociated" which is the SAME as being disfellowshipped.

That's another reason they are a cult. Cults don't like desenters.

Gumby...oh, pay no attention to unclebruce. He's been run over by an eighteen wheeler more than once....and ALL 18 tires got em!

When Will I Not Be Considered Disfellowshipped Among the Congregation?

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