New "Drive Thru" cash dispensers

by mark hughes 5 Replies latest social humour

  • mark hughes
    mark hughes

    Sorry about this one Sisters....Ladies I mean.

    -------------------------------PRESS RELEASE---------------------------------
    Halifax Building Society is very pleased to announce that they are installing new "Drive Thru" Cash Dispensers.

    To enable customers to gain maximum benefit from this new facility they have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with the appropriate procedures for their use.

    Procedures for MALE customers

    1. Drive up to the cash machine
    2. Wind down your car window
    3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
    5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
    6. Wind up window
    7. Drive off

    Procedures for FEMALE customers

    1. Drive up to the cash machine
    2. Reverse the required distance to align car window with cash machine
    3. Re-start the stalled engine
    4. Wind down the window
    5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to find card
    6. Turn the radio down
    7. Attempt to insert card into machine
    8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car
    9. Insert card
    10. Re-insert card the right way up
    11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN number written on the inside back page
    12. Enter PIN
    13. Press "cancel", and re-enter correct PIN
    14. Enter amount of cash required
    15. Check make-up in rear view mirror
    16. Retrieve cash and receipt
    17. Empty handbag again, to locate purse and place cash inside
    18. Place receipt in back of chequebook
    19. Re-check make-up
    20. Drive forward 2 metres
    21. Reverse back to cash machine
    22. Retrieve card
    23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot provided
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
    25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
    26. Release handbrake.

  • whyamihere


    My would entail, pull out your Handbag inside your other handbag.....Seriously.


  • serendipity

    I guess this was supposed to be funny but definitely not my experience. For safety's sake, the quicker you're done at the ATM the better.

    Due to poor planning on my part, I've ended up at the ATM the last three Friday evenings. All three times I was behind men. All three times they took several minutes. All three times I was done in one minute.

  • RubaDub

    I think it would be cool if they figured out a way to let you use the bathroom in the drive-thru lane.

    Rub a Dub

  • RubaDub

    I think it would be cool if they figured out a way to let you use the bathroom in the drive-thru lane.

    I just thought of maybe getting a bag at window #1 and handing it back at window #2.

    Rub a Dub

  • Sad emo
    Sad emo

    Good one mark hughes!

    Now let me add my classic experience of seeing a bloke using an ATM - last year a guy was using the machine next to me but he was in such a rush that he took his card and left the cash, in spite of the fact that the machine was still beeping at him! He didn't come back for it either.

    I was very honest and took the cash into the bank but I don't know if he ever went back for it though.

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