"Joined-As-Adult" JW's: What need did the WT fulfill for you?

by Check_Your_Premises 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Narkissos

    My father was over 40 when he joined; he had just been through a painful divorce and his second wife had started "studying" a few months before him, with almost instant conviction that "it was the truth" (LOL). I have often thought that the real reason why he joined (in spite of many doubts in the beginning, and even later) was that he really hoped for a "fresh start" for his new family, with "sound moral grounds" etc. As a result he turned it into a hell.

    I was only 12-13, and I guess my real motivation was a need for consistency which the WT seemed to fulfill, with an answer for every question.

    I have often pondered on this difference of approach. To a 40-y-old man the "truth" could only be relative. To a teenager it was absolute. I'm not sure he ever realised the moral weight he put upon our shoulders.

  • lonelysheep

    If you didn't read my bio, I started studying at 21, continued for 4 years and was never baptized.

    Were you able to fulfill or remove that need in some way?

    Yes. I accepted that no one or thing has control over life. I must look to myself for strength.

    Did fulfilling that need make it possible or easier for you to exit the wt?

    Yes. No longer needing religion or answers made it easy to let go of the WT and its teachings (as well as any future false needs).

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Yes. I accepted that no one or thing has control over life. I must look to myself for strength.

    What went into you having this realization? What external forces allowed or influenced it?

  • Finally-Free

    I got involved with the cult when I was 25. Prior to that I was living a rough lifestyle that I probably would not have survived if I didn't make some drastic changes. Unfortunately, my choice to join the watchtower cult was equally destructive in some ways.

    I think not being raised in the cult made it easier to get over their teachings. But after 20 friendless years as a JW I believe I've become antisocial. I became accustomed to being alone, even while married, and now I prefer it. I'll use any excuse to avoid people socially. That is very different from the way I was before I was a JW, when I had many friends, and I was actually quite easy to get along with.


  • stillajwexelder

    as a new parent at the time it removed the fear of dying at armageddon

  • mariposa

    It fulfilled the need to feel wanted, loved, to be a part of something that seemed greater...of course all of this was a front at first, it slowly went away and then it exploded in my face all at once.

    I had lost my apt., was between living in my car and moving back in with mom (eee-gads), found out I was pregnant and my darling bf split one day while I was at work, was smoking as much mota, among other things, as I could get my hands on, had no real idea where I was going being only 21. Looking back...I guess I was a prime canidate sucker.

    Since having a little girl, 9 months ago,a large part of the needs have faded away. I've got a pretty cool husband, most of the time anyway I just have to rid myself of the wt crap that I still think about, which is why I'm here.

  • Ellie

    I was a child dub and have studied on and off as an adult only out of a silly desire to please my family.

    However, I can answer for my mum, for her second time round anyway.

    Just 6 months after my dad died she shacked up with an alcoholic loser, they never had much of a relationship, he was always in the pub but she depended on him, she just didn't want to be alone.

    So as soon as they broke up she decided she wanted to get reinstated, she doesn't go to meetings, shes far too sick for that, but shes happy for the sisters to come and do her cleaning, invite her out for meals etc etc.

    Basically shes a JW for what she can get out of it, she doesn't like to feel that shes alone.

    Shes also urged me to go back, not for the usual reasons of making god happy and living forever, but so that I can get help with my kids and probably financially too.

  • gumby
    What need did the WT fulfill for you?

    Dan the man said, "Belonging, sense of purpose, security

    I too was raised a witness. I never though about the idea of whether I had the truth or not as it was normal for me to believe I did. All spiritual answers were there already with no need to consider them further. When you realise you didn't have truth afterall, a part of your mind opens that you didn't know existed.

    Gumby....hopes Dan gets to feeling better today

  • ballistic

    I know it's a bit off topic, but in line with what Ellie said, my mother keeps recommending I go back in order to find a wife. ... I just remind her what happened with the last one.

  • DanTheMan

    Thanks Billygoat and Gumby :)

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