I said too much

by vitty 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • vitty

    I was having a good conversation with my mum, and then............... Id said too much.

    She had been telling me she didnt ant to go to the hall, for a number of reasons, and when i started critisizing the borg she went all haughty and started telling me I should be going!!!!!!!!!

    The usual, Its so near the end, its the only truth............blah blah

    Its 3.30am here and I cant sleep, I just want everyone to know i dont go anymore but I cant. Talk about living a double life !

    Im 45 for gods sake and Im terrified about the consequences of not going to meetings.

    My family , daughter, are still in, they know somethings up but dont "talk" about it.

    You either come clean and risk shunning or play being weak and everyone feels the need to be stronger in the "truth" to prove to you how wonderful it all is.

    Its a no win suituation.

    A lot has happened in the last 3 months and I just want to be honest. But there is a price with honesty

  • candidlynuts

    hugs vitty

    thats rough.. i never say anything bad about the org to my family and get total shunning anyway.so you might get the treatment with out without having your say. dont feel too bad about saying something.. after all, " the millions now living will never die" people.. are pretty much all dead. so the END being near is pretty much a weak statement for jw's to make.

  • anewme

    I remember some good advice someone once told me and now I'll share it with you Vitty.

    "When you dont know what to do, dont do anything"

    I think it means, the answer will come to you in time or the situation will change if you are patient enough and the answer will be right there and obvious.


  • Axelspeed
    You either come clean and risk shunning or play being weak and everyone feels the need to be stronger in the "truth" to prove to you how wonderful it all is.

    Hang in there. I know the feeling, esp. when they paste on the fake smiles to prove how happy happy they are in the "truth". My family are all in too, so I know the feeling of seeing them gird themselves up when I come around to show me just how happy I could be too. At some point, and only you know when that time is, the fear will be gone and you'll know what to do and you will do it.


  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear Vitty,

    Hang in there! Seems like she has issues of her own. Whenever, one feels like a direct attack is being made on the organization, they feels like it is a attack upon Jehovah. And the wall goes up. We were programmed you cannot love one without the other. When it is a atack on the friends, for some reason thats not as threatening. So maybe by letting her express herself by just listening, will in time open up a avenue for more connversation and maybe a listening ear on her part.



  • theinfamousone

    i know how hard it can be... i really do... but heres my viewpoint, this is what i have learned from my recent activities, my recent life and my real friends... if they want to cut me out of their lives because i dont believe exactly what they believe, well they are not really good enough for me..as bad as that sounds, i believe that i am a wonderful person, who is accepting and happy, and that i have alot to bring to the table, if they will shun me for not loving their "god", well they're too close minded for me, and they dont deserve me in their lives... i know, easy for me tosay, i dont have kids... and im sorry it is so hard for you... you will be on my mind... i hope whatever you decide makes you happy.. thats whats truly important

    the infamous one

  • Highlander

    Couldn't agree more InfamousOne. If our friends truly love us for who we are then they wouldn't shun us or ignore us simply for having a different viewpoint.

    In the end we all show are 'true colors' based on our actions. I've finally become comfortable with the idea that I know my family does not have unconditional love for me

    as jesus said we should have.

  • penny2

    Vitty, know how you feel! I ended up telling my family that I wasn't going to go to any more meetings (that was after I'd missed lots over several years). They were upset but don't shun me and I avoid discussing issues (there's no point - they're not going to change their minds because of something I might say). Most families don't like shunning so don't want to know about viewpoints or things you're doing that might lead to it (unlike some elders who just love to disfellowship).

  • Sassy

    good luck Vitty.. it is hard to know. I know when I finally admitted to my mom I wasn't going to go to any meetings ( I said take a break) it was one of the hardest things ever.. and in the end I lost her...

    but living a doublt life and hiding it from her before that was difficult too..

    I have to say I am happier with the truth out, even though I lost her.. but our lives and circumstances are all different..

    my trade off was I got my dad back.. and later my kids..

  • GoingGoingGone


    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm in the same situation with many of my friends who live far from me, or who go to foreign language congregations and don't know that I don't go to meetings anymore.

    It's so much harder when it's family.


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