Stepdaughter wants B-Day

by ajsmama 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat

    Inviting her, LOL, now THAT would put her over the deep end.

    How about asking your step-daughter what she likes about birthdays and what she imagines would be an ideal birthday party for her. Keep her in the driver's seat.

  • sass_my_frass

    Take it real slow... the poor kid is going to feel so guilty for doing something that mom and god say is wrong. So I'd suggest giving her a special day without too much obviously 'birthday' stuff.

  • James Free
    James Free
    I told her that if she wanted one I would throw her the best one I could.

    You see, you gave yourself the best advice...if SHE wants.

  • lisavegas420

    I don't really like the idea of keeping it a secret from her mom. But I don't see any reason to let the mom in on it either.

    If she were my step daughter, and at 9 she's old enough to understand. I'd tell her every home has different rules...... and, at OUR house, we enjoy celebrating each person in a special way on a special day. We would love to do the same for you, would that be all right? If she says yes, ask her how she'd like to spend "her special day".

    Leave it up to her to tell her mom (what a wonderful step mom you are...hehehe )


  • Mary
    I cant imagine how bad that is gonna make them feel, so I jumped at the chance. I told her that if she wanted one I would throw her the best one I could. The only thing that has me concerned is the fact that the ex might get pissed at my man and cause drama that we dont need. Also I have a little guilt about doing something that is against what their mother believes, not alot but a little. Maybe I should invite her. Any opinions?

    Hmmm.....tough call. I clearly remember how left out I felt as a child by never having birthdays or Christmas etc. so I think your gesture is a very nice one. I can understand you feeling "a little guilty" about doing something against what the mother believes, but I would also argue that you're not partaking in, or getting the kids to partake in anything that's illegal, immoral or bad in any way shape or form (except in the bizarre world of Rutherford thinking). In fact, I agree with other comments here that it would boost the kids' self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves. Remember, these kids are not only hers, but your man's as well and he has every right to do something wonderful for his kids if he so wants.

    I would start slowly though. Instead of having a big birthday bash, maybe just buy them a birthday gift this time around. And then next year, maybe include a cake. I also wouldn't hesitate to explain to them in simple terms, that there's nothing in the bible that says you can't celebrate a birthday, and in fact the angels "rejoiced" and sang praises on the day Jesus was born.

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