As Ex JWs are we "All or Nothing"?

by Sirona 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  GentlyFeral

  "All or nothing"? I had to think for a moment before I realized that I call that "infatuation" or "obssession". I am that way about anything that interests me, at least during the learning phase (which occurs at the beginning of a relationship just as at the beginning of a hobby or course of study.)

  To break out of this category, I'd have to be able to say I am not obsessively committed to everything that interests me. Which, come to think of it, is true: folk dancing, permaculture, macramé, ...

  But, you know, I have plenty of fun with my infatuations and obsessions. Life isn't complete without them.

  gently feral
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  Lady Lee

  all-or-nothing conjures up black-vs-white thinking

  A few years ago a client said something that has stuck with me

  "Between black and white is not grey. It is all the colors of the rainbow" There is so much in the middle. Even if we don't particularly want the end result of something, sometimes it is the lessons we learn along the way that teaches us the most. As a JW and as a child from an abusive family I grew up with the polararized way of thinking and doing things. It pushes us to miss so much of what is around us.
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  SickofLies

  I agree with the Lady, all or nother / good or evil is something the borg drills into their drones. Its the stupid belief that if you're not a JW you're evil and the only good people are anointed/elder/GB. If there is any gray area its the regular dubs, for they are not automatically good until they reach this status symbol. Their is no such thing as polar thinking in reality. Watch Donnie Darko, a great example of this.
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  stillajwexelder

  'fraid I am lukewarm and should be vomitted out at the moment Sirona - after all I am on a damn apostate board
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  Wild_Thing

  I see a lot of ex-JWs struggle with this, including me. Honestly, I think it is conditioning learned from the witneses. To them, everything is either black or white ... there is no grey area. It is hard to find that balance in things. I think there is a place for the idea of working at something whole souled, but not all the time.
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  Sirona

  Sorry for the delay in replying!

  I suppose I meant in all things in life, not just religious beliefs. So say, for instance, you want to do a new job. You go at it 100% but after a while when it lacks lustre you simply leave it. Say you lose a minute amount of trust in someone....so you break off contact with them because of the small thing they did which made you feel unsure of them.

  Thats what I mean by all or nothing, I think.

  Sirona