Sout Park Scientology-episode online

by Hellrider 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Legolas
  • undercover
    The bizarre sci-fi beliefs are supposed to be only for "mature" Scientologists

    Are JW beliefs any more bizzare?

    An invisible man in the sky made a man and woman and gave them a paradise to live in. A snake talked the woman into eating fruit banned by the invisible man. The man and woman were cursed and driven from paradise.

    In time the invisible man got mad at everybody and decided to kill all the bad ones by making a worldwide flood. Only 8 people survived because the invisible man told them to make a boat. The animals survived because the invisible man told the people to bring some animals with them.

    Thousands of years later the invisible man sent another man he called his son to earth via a pregnant woman who hadn't had sex. This man was perfect and became a special prophet. He lead many people to believe in him as a special agent from the invisible man. But the superstitious men of the tribe were scared of him and had him killed. But the prophet arose from his grave three days later and went back to the sky to live.

    Thousands of years later and the prophet returned. This time he returned invisibly and only a small group of people were able to figure it out. Out of this group 144,000 will go to the sky and rule as princes with the prophet, now a king. This king is waging war with another invisible person, who is considered the epitome of evil. All the people in the world are part of the evil ones empire. Only the small group, led by the 144,000 and their spokesmen are on the kings side. Only they will survive the big war that will kill the evil one and all his supporters.

  • Abaddon

    Any one who believes that the (hell, any) creation account is literal is just as deluded as a Scientologist.

  • Hellrider

    lol, yes.

    I hear some of you are saying that this evil alien-king in outer space-crap is no more inlogical than the belief in God. I`m not really sure about that...(although I am not a god-believer myself) but it would be an interesting discussion.

    Anyway: The more I googled around, the more impressed I get with the South Park-creators. They`ve really done their homework. Nothing in that episode is "wrong" concerning what scientologists really believe. I followed the link from XJW4EVER and check out these letters, sent from a scientologist-woman, sent from the Scientology-"fleet"! Yes, they have their own navy, ha ha, you know, for when the shit hits the fan and the nazis, drug cartelles and pharmacy-industry starts the persecution of the scientologists, and they war starts. The navy is called "Sea Org". The letters were written shortly before she died from a gun-shot to the head on board the ship:

    Susan Meister was introduced to Scientology in San Francisco in the autumn of 1970. By November, she was working at the San Francisco Org. She was an eager convert, and tried to persuade her parents to become Scientologists. She wanted to be close to the "Founder," and contribute to "Clearing the Planet," so in February 1971 she joined the Sea Org. By the end of the month she was aboard the "Flagship" Apollo. Her stay there was brief and tragic. On May 8, she wrote to her mother:

    Do you recall talking to me about WW III - and where it would start if it were to start - father and most everyone else maintained that it would start in either China or Russia vs. U.S. and you said - oh no - it would originate in Germany - that the Nazis hadn't given up yet - ? Well babe, you were right - there is a new Nazi resurgence taking place in Germany - so now it's a race between the good guys in the white hats (Scientologists) [sic] and the Leipzig death camp (Nazis) [sic] the bad guys in the black hats - we'll win of course - but the game is exciting. Truth is stranger than fiction. As Alice [in Wonderland] says "Things get curiouser and curiouser!" Get into Scientology now. It's fantastic.
    Love, Susan

    Four days later, Susan Meister wrote this letter:

    Dear Family,

    Click to enlarge Susan Meister's letter to her family
    I just had a session an auditing session
    I feel great! Great GREAT!
    and my life is EXPANDING
    and it's All Hurry Up: Hurry, Hurry
    Be a friend to yourselves
    Get into this stuff Now -
    It's more precious than gold
    it's the best thing that's
    _ever_ever_ever_ever_ come
    along. Love, Susan

    Her last letter to her parents from the Apollo was dated June 1971. In it she thanked them for a birthday card, and a variety of gifts, including a new dress. She continued, showing the effect upon a young and impressionable mind Hubbard's obsession with the "great conspiracy" against him:

    I can't tell you exactly where we are. We have enemies who are profiting from peoples' ignorance and lack of self-determinism and do not wish to see us succeed in restoring freedom and self-determinism to this planet's people. If these people were to find out where we are located - they would attempt to destroy us. Therefore, we are not allowed to say where this ship is located.

    She once more urged her mother to read Hubbard's books, and take Scientology courses. Ten days after writing the letter, Susan was dead.

  • unclebruce
    Ten days after writing the letter, Susan was dead.

    Dead from? I mean we'll all be dead ten days after doing something

  • Hellrider

    Dead from gunshot to the forehead. The scientologists tried to pass it off as a suicide, but there was no gunpowder on her hands or face, and the gun was a long-barelled revolver, so long that she would have had to hold it with both hands. It was probably murder, but I think they got away with it.

    It`s really sad that Tom Cruise is so brainwashed, imo, because I think he`s a great actor, much better than what he`s given credit for. The part he played in Magnolia (great, great movie, one of my favorites) was really fantastic. And he was great in War of the Worlds too, that movie could have been crap if it didn`t have a good actor playing the leading part. Tom Cruise is really intense (well, he proved that to everyone on Oprahs couch, I guess, ha ha). But I`m thinking: Maybe he`s so intense because he is a brainwashed nutcase. Hm...

  • ignored_one
    Tom Cruise is really intense (well, he proved that to everyone on Oprahs couch, I guess, ha ha). But I`m thinking: Maybe he`s so intense because he is a brainwashed nutcase. Hm...

    I was watching the trailer to Scary Movie 4 and they've spoofed the whole Tom on Oprah show.

  • Bryan

    I'm too slow.. the video has been removed.


  • james_woods

    I once talked this alien H-bomb volcano story over with an ex-scientologist friend. He was actually on board that boat Apollo and was a sea-org member until he left. His reason was that he was not allowed to get close to or even speak to L.Ron. He remains an apologist for the belief system but thinks that the current admin under David Mascaivage is corrupt - not holding up to Hubbard's great body of truth.

    This guy says the alien story is part of a training process in which they reach increasing levels of scientology - kind of like the degrees in Masonic orders. I think this story is told as part of the level three. Richard says that it is not strictly necessary to actually "believe" that crap, but that you must learn to absorb the ridiculous ideas while hooked up to their skin resistance lie dectector machine without flinching around very much. This is to be administered by a senior scientologist auditor - it can cost thousands of dollars to make it to these higher levels.

    So, I suppose it is possible that some new recruits to this have no idea of this stupid story until they are so sucked in that they just go ahead and swallow it because they are already brainwashed to believe anything they are told. There is also very much an attitude that these type of teachings should never be revealed to non-scientologists because they simply would not understand...those swine would just trample upon L.Ron's little pearls of wisdom. In addition, they also have it rumored around that some of the even higher levels will KILL YOU if you are exposed to this knowledge without being sufficiently prepared (i.e. brain deadened). Of course, most of this junk is already out there in the free press for anyone to read if you make the effort to find it.

    My guy also says that much of the South Park show was lies designed by the vast conspiracy of Scientology haters. It is very much like some of the posters here who have kind of left the society but still apologize for the belief system. Kind of sad, in my opinion.


  • Shining One
    Shining One

    >Any one who believes that the (hell, any) creation account is literal is just as deluded as a Scientologist.

    Just for you, Abaddon: I can go you one better.....billions of years after the 'big bang' sent matter out in clumps (LOL), not evenly as we might imagine.

    1) Meteorite dust deposited alkalines in a primordial soup.

    2) The akalines got mixed just right and became alive (never mind that the alleged 'soup' immediately kills off single cell organisms).

    3) Their was just the right circumstances for the single cells to breed and not have to consume each other for food.

    4) The single cells gradually turned into sea creatures who lived off of the single cells and newly evolved plants.

    5) Then they morphed into amphibians when land masses began appearing with just the right air for them to breath.

    6) They became land reptiles, some of whom later became mammals who took over when the reptiles mostly died out. Some of the larger reptiles gradually got smaller and smaller till they became birds.

    7) Some of the mammals gradually evolved into upright walking apes who magically developed larger brains.

    8) These new creatures became what we call mankind and they started to be aware of time passage and their existence. They appreciated the estetic things in life and developed art as they evolved by survival of the fittest.

    9) Mankind has evolved to the point where the evolutionary fairy tale and the scientology fairy tale are both believed.

    10) These groups look down on the poor, pitiful souls who believe they were created for a reason and have a purpose in living!

    Can you imagine someone believing that?


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