Feelings for ex-significant others

by kristyann 12 Replies latest jw experiences

  • luna2
    Do women want hard drinking, hard fighting, exciting men or a man that cares for and protects them and looks after himself? What goes through your mind when you fall in love with these kind of guys?

    God (if he exists) only knows. I married one of these. It was the worst mistake I ever made. Why couldn't I have fallen for the nice guy??? Its still a mystery to me.

    Anyhow, back to kristyann, its too bad you are thinking of this Greg guy so much. I suspect that for some of us, especially when a relationship ends badly, there is a need for closure. Its like you want to go back and show that person what they are missing, maybe get them to admit that they were wrong to treat you the way they did. Sometimes there might be the thought that if you got back together now, it would be different.

    I like Lady Lee's suggestion about writing it all out (which really you've started to do here). Reminding yourself of all of the bad stuff and how you felt at the time might be a way to shut down the "nostalgia infatuation" (good term, bigmouth!).

    He sounds like a screwed up, selfish guy...hooking up with you merely because he wanted a trophy on his arm to make his friends envious, and then constantly saying stuff to put you down and keep you in your place so he could feel superior? Lordy, does that sound familiar. You are lucky that he scampered back to NYC the way he did. A long term relationship with somebody like this is truly poison and could have scarred you in ways you would regret for the rest of your life.

  • sass_my_frass

    Perfectly normal; once you've loved someone you don't ever completely stop. I'm very happily married and still have great memories of my other big love. My husband still has some good feelings re his ex-wife. It's no big deal. Just acknowledge the feelings and enjoy life now with your boyfriend.

  • nelly136

    maybe its not him you're missing, just the thought of excitement.

    once you've been with someone a while, things settle down and become a bit routine.(go same places do same things)

    is there anything you can think of that would put a bit of a spark into your present relationship?

    maybe if you spent a bit of time thinking up and doing different/exciting things with present partner you'd be less occupied/have less time to think of the former one.

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