I was the same age as you when it just got too strained to stand it another day at home. I got a minimum wage job and a small apartment and moved out! I already had a car but I had to make payments to my parents on it.
Some of it sounds like JW brainwashing has corroded your mom's brains, and some of it is, around your age, I think we've just worn out our welcome in their home, and it's time to move on. Only then will they recognize you as an adult and treat you with respect. My parents are my good friends now, but it took my leaving and them seeing me as an adult. I've been sucessful, and they grudgingly admire me for it, tho I'm a fader.
I think the clashes and my mom getting so obnoxious with me was to get me to move out. If you can't stand living with the rules of their home, it's time to make your own home. How close are you to finishing school? Can you make it a little longer, or no?
The military is a good career with benefits. My husband is retired military and gets a nice retirement check in addition to his paycheck...but that's after 20 years. Don't do a kneejerk reaction, because your mom pushed your buttons. Consider which course of action is best for you, in the long run. Remember, "she who laughs last", lol!