I Finally Spilt it to My Mother...

by Confession 25 Replies latest social family

  • Confession

    So I pulled the trigger, and I’m riding the bullet.

    Called my mother yesterday and spilled all the beans. Every last one.

    She listened. Tearfully so, but at least she listened. First question?

    “But how are you going to keep yourself upbuilt spiritually?”

    I explained that one of the things the WTS does is promote the teaching that there must be one organized group to which you “belong,” and that full association and participation in it is necessary to receive God’s approval. I said I did not believe the scriptures supported this. Then she asked…

    “Well what about “not forsaking the gathering of yourselves together?””

    I replied that, yes, gathering together was good, but what about Jesus’ words indicating that “wherever two or more of you are gathered in my name” there he would be? I explained that I have found many, many Christian people with whom I share fine fellowship.

    As so many of you know, this is a tough scenario. You don’t know how the person will react. You don’t want to be “overwhelming.” But you do want to make sure they know your reasons for leaving are substantive and were based on a deep examination.

    I discussed my original flashpoint on the subject of confession while an elder—and how that subject eventually led to my investigation into the teachings of the WTS. I told her of the UN-NGO issue, 607 BCE being an entirely erroneous date, and the mindless stream of date prophecies that they advanced—all which were failures. I explained how good I used to be at deflecting these arguments as a JW, but how I truly never knew the half of it.

    I told her, as I recently wrote in this forum, how when a Witness I used to be frustrated that so few would listen to us at the door. Now I feel even more frustrated in knowing that most active JWs will likely not listen to me. But I explained that there was a big difference between these two situations. Now I was basing my conclusions on all of the information, and not simply on what the WTS wanted me to see.

    She said…

    “But now this means you’re an apostate.”

    “I know, Mom. I know that’s what the Watchtower Society teaches us to believe. But they only say that because they assert “faith in God” equals “faith in the Watchtower Society.” They arrogantly brand someone who was once baptized as a Witness—but who no longer recognizes them as God’s sole channel of communication—an apostate. But they are not “masters over your faith,” Mom. Ultimately you should be able to decide such things for yourself. Do you see how they ask you to give over this judgment to them instead? Do you see how Witnesses, in effect, end up worshipping the organization itself instead of Jehovah?”

    I went on to reason with her about the age the WTS recommends young ones get baptized. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen years old. (Get them young before Satan's world gets 'em.) Did she think it fair to move a thirteen year old to make a commitment so large that--if they later as an adult decided such a commitment was wrong--they would then be ripped from their family and community of friends, branded as an evil apostate?

    Another interesting thing. She twice asked me if I thought she, my dad, and the rest of the family, in worshipping as JWs, were doing something that would bring them Jehovah’s displeasure? Although she said she has never doubted that she had “the Truth,” her question did seem to be genuine. I tried to make clear that it was the WTS who I blame for religious legalism, authoritarianism and manipulation, and that I will always respect anyone else’s decision as to what they choose to do.

    For a seventy-two year old woman who has been a zealous JW for more than fifty years, wife of a professed anointed elder, and primary matron of a four-generation, thirty-member JW family…I’d have to say she held up pretty well on hearing the news, although at the end, through more tears, she told me she’d have to go since her head had begun to hurt badly.

    I have absolutely no idea what the future holds. But I am prepared for the possibility that I may never see nor speak to my family again.

  • daystar

    Cajones... It does me good to hear that you've taken that step. Some day, I may too.

  • carla

    I think you did a fine job of explaining your position. I'm sorry you now have to worry that they may shun you. Let's hope not! all the best, carla

  • Spectre

    I hope all goes for the best.

  • stillAwitness

    It really does sound as if maybe she will be able to accept and respect your wishes. I hope for the best for you my friend!

  • Honesty


    It's a bitch, man. I went through it with my mom who is a 75 year-old dyed-in-the-wool loyal follower of Herbert W. Armstrong and his original World Wide Church of God and also with my ex-spouse when I discovered that I had exchanged the lies of Armstrong for the lies of the Watchtower Society and the false prophets AKA Jehovah's Witnesses. After almost 45 years in those two God dishonoring cults and subjecting my spouse and offspring to untold misery and spiritual poison last year I finally decided to spill my guts about what I had found in the Bible and on the internet to those I love. It's the only way I found that I could live with myself because after holding it in for several years I knew that I would go nuts unless I told them what and who they were worshipping.


    Called my mother yesterday and spilled all the beans. Every last one.

    It sounds like it! Wow...only time will tell what the outcome will be. I hope that she really thinks about all the things you told her. Sounds like some of it was getting through, hence the headache.

    Keep us posted...wishing you the best!!!


  • Darth Yhwh
    Darth Yhwh

    Perhaps your family will bend the WTS's rules in their actions toward you? I hope it all works out for you.

  • greendawn

    You did quite well since everything you said was based on an objective study of all the facts, and if that proved that the JWs are in serious error on many issues so be it. Why don't they accept it and correct their wayward course? Or why don't they publicly argue about these points with the "apostates"? Because they know they can't stand up to it their doctrines are too rotten.

  • garybuss

    One of my Jehovah's Witness relatives told me . . . "You represent everything in the world that I hate!". I thought that left absolutely nothing to go forward with any relationship. I got that message from more than a few.
    It's been worth it for me to identify people who really didn't like me anyway and eliminate them from my life, one by one. After the first few I grieved. Then I started realizing the benefits and I started celebrating.

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