So, now they think I`m shunning them

by Hellrider 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Hellrider

    So, my niece is getting married. This is on the still-JWs-side of my family. And my oldest sister, her mother, just told one of my other sisters (I have three sisters and two brothers) that she wanted to invite me, but didn`t think it was any point, because "I hate them"...and I wonder: From where did they get that idea? I think I might know why, it`s probably because they know how I reacted when a JW from the congregation crashed our mothers funeral (we buried her in a church, because we are more non-JWs than JWs in the family, by now) - to preach (!!) to us "apostate" children of hers. I didn`t like that one bit, and I made that clear to everyone, and so now they got the idea that I`m an "apostate" that hates Jehovahs Witnesses. Well, actually I am (ha ha), but I don`t really hate them (my JW-family, that is). I certainly don`t trust them any further than I can throw them, because I have also seen how they act in heritage-issues, how they see no problem in trying to grab as much money and silverware as they can (both my JW-sister and especially my aunt has acted this way), and I attribute this to the "well, the non-JWs will die in Armageddon anyway, so let`s just try and save as much as we can"-mentality.

    Well, what I told my little sister (non-JW) to tell my JW-sister and the JW-family, is that I probably won`t come anyway, so don`t bother to invite me, because it`s on the other side of the country. It`s 7 hours by car from where I live. I think that`s an acceptable excuse. But it`s a lie, of course. The real reason isn`t that I "hate them", it`s just that I couldn`t go to a JW-wedding if my life depended on it. A hundred idiot JWs in suits and dresses, praising Jehovah at the wedding-speeches at the table, have the half-drunk elder come over to try and make me come back to the meetings, see the young ones look at me and whisper to eachother "who`s that guy? Oh, it`s the brides uncle...I hear he`s an apostate...yes, that figures, look at the beard...even has an ear careful with that guy, he hates JWs blah blah".

    In addition to that, there would be the sadness of watching a new generation of brainwashed JW-kids, getting married, and we all know what happens nine months after a JW-marriage, voilĂ , another little JW-kid is born, who will have his childhood messed up by that idiot religion, and probably grow up to be another mentally disturbed JW, get married, have another little JW-kid, etc...the vicious cycle goes on and on...and I just couldn`t take that.

    So, the only problem is: How do you explain this to your JW-relatives? You can`t! It would be an insult to their entire religion (because it is), and consequently, it would be an insult to them as people (because JWs are what they are, it`s their identity). I think it`s almost impossible to "separate" a persons religion from that persons...being. And that`s what makes it so difficult, dealing with JW-relatives, I think. So I hope they buy the long distance-excuse, but they probably won`t. They`ll just have to deal with believing that I "hate them". I wonder how they`d feel if I had crashed my nieces wedding with a suitcase full of "apostate litterature", like that elder that crashed my mothers funeral to preach? They`re pissing me off. Stupid idiots. What annoys me is the drama! I did not cause this situation. They did. Always so much drama with these people.

  • wombat


    Try breaking up your post into paragraphs.

    I tried to read it but it was too hard. It was just a huge page of words. If I stopped reading to light my pipe or have a drink I would need to start at the beginning again.

    Put some spaces in. Keep your sentences short. Make it easy to read.

    If it looks too hard to read no-one will bother.

    Anyway..all the best.

  • luna2

    Well, it's easier to blame you and to say that you are shunning (persecuting) them than to look critically at themselves and their exclusionary religion.

    I'd send your niece a nice card and enjoy the fact that you don't have to go to this thing.

  • Hellrider

    Yes, good idea. I`ll send a card. Thanks, I actually wouldn`t have thought of that myself (for real), I am pretty clueless when it comes to social etiquette on things like these. Thanks.

  • gumby
    she wanted to invite me, but didn`t think it was any point, because "I hate them

    Many witnesses automatically THINK we "hate them".

    They have been taught that when we leave 'the truth', we lose Jehovah's spirit and we attain the 'worlds' attitude'. They think we have all the negatives against the organisation and that we 'feed' on that.

    Little do most witnesses know that we still love/care for them as individuals and that it's not them, but rather their organisation and it's teachings that we are against.

    If I were in your shoes, I'd continue to show your family love and let them know you love them.


  • oldflame
    If I were in your shoes, I'd continue to show your family love and let them know you love them.


  • cruzanheart

    Send her a nice present, along with "Crisis of Conscience."


  • undercover

    If you're not "for" them, you're "against" them. That's how many of them see it.

    By rejecting the religion you have rejected them as well. You know you didn't and we know you didn't but since they are under the control of the religion, they believe the propaganda spewed by the religion to keep their followers from associating with "apostates".

    Once you're out and look back at it or at the people you know still in it, you're amazed at how cultish the whole thing really is.

  • unique1

    I would call them and tell them, I heard "insert name here" was getting married and I wanted to let you know that while I would absolutely love to attend, I just can't take the time off work to drive there at this time. If you can tell me where they are registered, I would love to send the happy new couple a gift.

    That way you let them know you don't hate them and keep every thing very happy.

  • greendawn

    That's how the JWs create problems in families with their extremist propaganda and they then cunningly try to cover their tracks by misusing the verse about the gospel message causing divisions even in families.

    Only their gospel is not the real gospel they are just good at misapplying the Bible to validate their faulty reasonings.

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