Abusers and Abusees love the org...

by tall penguin 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Just because you didn't hear about it doesn't mean it wasn't there.

    Personal experience:

    I was in the White Rock congregation (Dallas, Texas) in the late 80's. I confronted my father about his abuse of me when I was pre-school age. Of course I got the elder visits about two witnesses, forgiveness, wait on Jehovah, yada yada.

    I was told, however, that I was the only one to have ever made this complaint in "Jehovah's organization". Each of those 9 elders sat in my living room and told me no one had ever made any such complaint before.

    Fast forward 13 years and I met someone on this very board who happened to go to the White Rock congregation at the same time. They were a child back then, when a family member molested them. Their father was an elder and the matter was reported to the body. At the exact same time I was making my statements about my father.

    No one in that congreagtion knew as the elders hushed it up.

    My point is, with all due respect, that just because you have no personal knowledge does not mean there was no child abuse.

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Thanks for all of the great comments.
    Big Tex, I like your theory. I have found the same to be true in my experience.
    tall penguin

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    BT I've read about that theory (can't recall what the name of it is).

    It is used to explain the control dynamics in abusive relationships. People tend to stay in those roles hoping for some change/improvement.

    But as long as people stay in those roles the dynamics don't chage. The only way to resolve the control dynamics is to get out of the roles and go do something else. The danger is that people who have not dealt with those issues will often wind up finding another triad to try to change.

    People who have grown up in a controlling/abusive family and then leave that only to find themselves in a controlling cult or other relationship.

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