When I started dating Susan I became very conscious of my 'standing in the congregation™. Susan and her parents attended™ Elizabeth congregation 20kms away. They knew that I'd missed the Sunday Morning meeting™, so I invited™ them to meet me for the afternoon session at my Kingdom Hall™.
Prospect shared the Hall with Enfield Congregation™. Enfield was choc-a-block full of
very old people people in their 'golden years™' - at least two dozen of them were 'partakers in the lords supper™' (many confirmed Russellites lurked in their ranks too
Well this was by far the funniest meeting I have ever attended™. Susan and Joyce (my bride and mother-in-law to be arrived a little early but felt a bit shunned by the aloof older folk who didn't like strangers (many of them were migrants from the Ukraine, Hungary and the like).
The Presiding Overseer™ was a man named Jack Heading (had a grandson named Richard I kid you not!).
Jack was a young bloke not a day over 70 and really whipped this mob into shape. First up an announcement™:
“ It appears our visiting guest speaker™ hasn't arrived so we'll have the watchtower study™ first and go from there.”
Well did he go for it Q & A like nothing on earth. And such deep lucid replies, fair dinkum it went just like this:
Jack: And why don't we behave like that?
Sister blue hair: because ..if we don't we'll die at Armageddon!™
Jack: Correct! ..next paragraph™ Why is loyalty ™to Jehovah™ important?
Brother ancient of daze: be..cause if ...we don't ..wey'll doy... at Armageddon!
Another 22 minutes of this and we were done (I once gave what I thought was a deeper™ answer only to receive a light scowl and have my hand ignored thereafter)
Singing: “Here I am Send Me™” (fastest song in the book?)
Prayer: “We thankyou Jehovah™ for all your loving provisions™ that we may not die at Armageddon™, through our mediator™ Jesus Christ Amen”.
Apart from being appalled that these peoples motivation was the avoidance of death, I was a little taken aback to see Old Jackboot Heading running to his car and taking off like Jehu (must have had some theocratic warfare™ to conduct.
Three unwelcome strangers stood outside the kingdom hall wondering what to do next after the shortest meeting on record - All up less than 30 minutes (hardly worth the ironing).
So did you ever attend™ a funny/strange meeting™?