In a similar vein.............while fading from the cult, my wife and I attended a district convention as ' Ura and Ima Pruved'. Got a lot of interesting feedback from the rank and file.
Create a Convention name!
ROFLMAO!!! This thread is hilarious! Welcome to the newer folks that I haven't greeted yet and thanks for the giggles. Lets see what is rattling around in my brain tonight, shall we?
"United in Worship of an enormous printing and real estate holding company" district convention
Some highlights from the program for you...
"Stay awake, stand firm, but not THAT firm, or you'll grow mightily! District Assembly" (aka no viagra before conventions)
"Disfellowshipping, a blessing beyond all compare": experiences of how leaving the Borg was the best thing a young person could do with their life and the joy that followed.
I got more...just have to think on it a bit.
"Making The Bible Say Whatever We Want It To Say" District Convention
Keynote speaker will be GB member, Reginald Tweedle-Twaddle who will demostrate how to make the Bile stand on its head, thus fooling all of the people all of the time
Bro Franz Gelderfelder will talk on "Give Us Yer Mony, You Saps"
Resident WTS scholar Bruce Iamconfused [10 years in the university of hard knocks - yep he graduated from the same school] will talk on: "How to make the word "day" mean everything else but a 24-hr period of time"
"The joyous relief of the lunch break
haha thats my favourite....boy it was so true!I sometimes was close to tears i was soooooooobored.
"paying attention to the needs of the circuit"
At amen we need to arrange the trip to the "bird in hand" (anybody get that?)
Don't miss the guilt trip at the Do More! District Convention.
"WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD" DISTRICT CONVENTION
JEHOVAH IS NOT A DICKHEAD
"Rejoice in Jah, for billions now living will die!"
"Longsuffering: what does it mean to you?"
"Paradise smaradise...jokes on you!"
"Enter the road to paradise: Check brain & wallet at gate"
Welcome! Brothers, to the 2006 Did You Bring Your Pillow ? You're Going To Need It District Convention.