oh man! please, please, please don't fall into the snare of satan. this is his trick to pull you into a situation so that you can be totally blinded once again. it's your house and Jehovah is your God. pray to Him to give you the strength to do what you know is right. go look for that job and stand strong! peace, freddi
I might be going back to the kingdumb hall !!
by boy@crossroads 15 Replies latest jw friends
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Mary
Recently my witness brother and i (i'm inactive btw) have taken in some witness friends. Friends that i still get along with well even though i am inactive...........for the last year its just been my brother and myself in the house but i'm afraid with these new witnesses in the house it is going to bring more intolerance into an already awkward living arrangement.
Huh? You've got a couple of Witnesses moving in to YOUR place, and they know you're inactive? It's one of two things: either they're not that "strong in de Troof" themselves and don't care if you go or not, or they secretly want to trick you into going back to the Hall. Frankly, I'm amazed that the elders haven't spoken to these Dubs about the "dangers" of moving in with someone who's inactive. After all, you could be secretly visiting 'postate web sites and influence them for all they know
Do not go back to the Hall if you don't want to. These guys will be living in YOUR home----not the other way around. If they don't like that you don't go, I'd just say "don't let the door hit you on your way out."
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Victorian sky
Been there, done that, please DON'T DO IT! When I lived at home with my mom, she begged me to at least go to the Sunday meetings. I thought, it's not much to ask, I'm living under her roof, can't afford to move out, it's the least I can do for her. So I felt obligated to go. It was torchure. A few times I just sat in the kg hall parking lot with my hands gripping the steering wheel, in tears because I didn't want to go in there. When I did go, i'd daydream, write scenes for a script i was writing but when i couldn't zone out, the drivel from the platform was mind numbing. I felt like an imposter and a hypocrite. It got to the point where I got dressed for the meeting, got close to the hall and kept on driving! Then I'd make up some excuse and say I felt sick, which was so true. Look, you're an adult, nobody here can tell you what to do. But if they are moving in to your place why do you have to be the one to conform? If they know you're inactive, I wonder what's going on with them? Maybe they're trying to escape to. There's a quote by Mandella, something about, if you live free you give others around you permission to free themselves too. Maybe they need your example to have the courage to leave. Live strong and God Bless - V Sky
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sweet tee
Turn the tables, ask them REAL questions if they confront you about not going to the meetings. It doesn't even have to be about the cult, it can be about you - "I've got some personal things to work out" then ask "Is there something NEW at the KH that I haven't heard before?", "Are the FDS teaching real life-skills? Like how to get a decent job so I can afford to live - because that's what I really need right about now!".
You are only responsible for your own feelings. Try and figure out why you feel the way you do about this situation. Why are you willing to give in to pressure from people who don't care enough about you as an individual to leave you at peace with your own decision, let alone take care of you?
Determine your own values - things that are important to you and why, then learn to articulate those values and practice it whenever you can. Part of having healthy self esteem is speaking up for yourself. You can do it with tact or not. It's up to you. If you have the choice of them being uncomfortable or you, which will you choose and for what reasons?
I don't think there's a right or wrong in this - you can go along or not, either way it will have an affect on you. The choices that you make will determine if the affects are positive or negative from your pespective.
sweet tee
You have a choice in everything and every situation. You can choose to allow people to manipulate you and make you feel bad, or you can choose not to let other peoples feelings override your own. Forget what's going on with everyone else and get to know and understand who you are. That's priceless!
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daystar
Hey, do what you have to do to get by. You know who you are and how you feel. If presenting your true feelings and opinions at the moment would cause you undue stress, then don't.
Of course, you want to move towards a life where you can say exactly what you want, to whomever you want. But if you judge it best to remain silent for the moment, I see no wrong in that.
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greendawn
I can't see why you should feel obliged to change your lifestyle just because more JWs came into the house. On what basis did they come, as paying guests or as housemates to share the rent? Are they nagging you to become active again in the cult?