Well my wife totally got on my nerves last night.
I was trying to work out some compromises on the holidays with her. I spent a ton of time thinking about it, studying about it, and writing things down. Now here is the thing. The WHOLE point of me doing that is to make sure her views are respected. She couldnt' even be bothered to look at it. All she kept saying was, "well I don't agree with any of it, so you just do whatever you want."
That is not, in my mind, how married people are supposed to act. Married people are supposed to work things out so everyone is respected. But she is not married to me, but rather an abusive spouse... the wt.
So I got annoyed, and it ended up in her mind being about her religion. Then I thought about it some more. Every time a dub acts like an a-hole, I naturally respond, because we all respond to people acting like a-holes. But somehow it always gets sucked into being about their religion. Then they get to act all oppressed and put upon and superior for having to deal with us worldly people.
Maybe this is to obvious to point out, but whenever a dub acts like a jerk ONLY talk about their behavior.
I mean seriously! Do you really care that your loved one thinks that Jesus is the archangel Michael? Of course not! You can't stand the way the talk to you, and try to control you. It's about how they behave!
Example1: dub- You aren't supposed to say "Jheez"
right way: Why are you sticking your finger in my face telling me what is right and wrong. Do you want me to do that to you?
Wrong way: That is totally stupid. jheez isn't short for Jesus. Not once in my life have I ever referred to Jesus as jheez. So is it "wrong" to say golly? How about gee-whiz? How about "shucks"?
Example 2: dub - I have to go to the meeting, I don't have time to talk about why our son is suicidal.
right way: I can't beleive that you are going to leave this house when we have something so important to talk about..
wrong way: I can't believe your religion thinks it is more important to go to a meeting than take care of your children!
Feel free to add some more examples of times you got into it with a dub, and it ended up being about their religion. Then think of how it could have been turned on their behavior.
This will either be fun and therapuetic, or totally lame.