What effect did armaggeddon/possible persecution have on your mental state?

by jambon1 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • jambon1

    I was`nt brought up in the `truth`. I have recently left and am amazingly happy.

    One thing that got to me was my mental state of mind which became extreemly negative about the future.

    I worried very much about non JW relatives (good people) dying at armaggeddon.

    Also reading the endless accounts of bros/sis being brutally tortured/raped etc really disturbed me. I worried so much about such things happening to me at the tribulation.

    When I had my 2 children I realised that such things may happen to them and what would I do?? Sign the release papers denying my faith, then I`d be a bad parent/christian? Would I though be bad for wanting my kids back. And so it went on and on, tormenting me day in day out, when I believed.

    The 1999? yearbook on Malawi just about sent me on a nervous breakdown thinking all that may happen to me and my family. I woke up thinking a lot about such things each night for years.




  • daystar

    Sure. Totally common. Fifteen years later, I still have the occasional battle with my own perception of impending doom.

    It makes it very hard to stick with things, or to pursue goals, always unconsciously expecting "the end any day now".

    I was brought up in "the truth". I fully expect to have to deal with this sort of thing, at least on occasion, until the day I die... since I was brainwashed almost from birth and all.

  • kittyeatzjdubs

    i kept a bottle of aspirin in my room for years, because i had made a pact with jehovah that if armageddon ever came in my day, and they started persecuting witnesses in america, i was going to swallow that whole bottle. i knew that i would never be able to stand up to persecution and that if they didn't kill me first, i would disown jehovah just to live. i figured i had a better chance of being resurrected from a suicide than from turning my back on jehovah.

    that religion sure can f---k with your head.

    luv, jojo

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    This is a serious issue to me .I was raised a JW, and as a young child I was constantly warned Armageddon was right around the corner. Do you even have a clue what it does to a childs psyche to be told " you'll never have to worry about going to kindergarten,Armageddon will be here by then." All the while being taught about the persecution witnesses experienced during WWII , graphic stories of torture. As a young child my mother told us of the horrors that occured in Malawai.....why would anyone expose young children to such terrifying information? Because Witnesses believed they were preparing their children for the Great Tribulation . I was repeatedly told how my unbelieving grandparents and Father would probably turn on my mother some day ,and how I should remain loyal to God no matter what. We were trained to think how we could hide literature if it became banned ect.. I understand my Mom's fears because she had a German friend that actually had gone through terrible times in Germany , but her fears were unreasonably transposed upon innocent children. As I got older I was told don't worry the end will be hear beore you are old enough for High School,and then no need to go to college the end has got to be close.....that was 26 years ago.. What effect does ,did all that have ....can you say PROZAC / Xanax.......It makes you paranoid , anxious and untrusting. After years of searching and trying to figure out why I never felt like I belonged in my own life , I started figuring it out bit by bit over the past 15 years. One truth I came away with was I would never do that to my own kids! Even though we raised our kids as witnesses we were liberal and never pushed doomsday thinking upon them.We tried to teach them to prepare for their futures get an education , god bless them -THINK for themselves! They faced many pressures from the hardliners, but hopefully they are better adjusted to life than I was.Only now am I reaching the stage of my life were I can question everything else about this religion, it is an adventure , and a hell of alot of pain.

  • DannyHaszard

    They are a classic supremacist,extremist doomsday cult in every whacked away!

    I knew a MS from the kingdom hall of Jehovah's Witnesses Rockland Massachusetts circa late 1980's early 1990's who's favorite quote was,"there are seven birds for every human" and "they are all worldly slime"My own elder dad's fav was "birds gotta eat too" and my maternal JW grandfather spouted worse venom Watchtower top boss Freddy Franz his fav was "little nits grow up to be big nits" ---------------------------------------------------- Danny Haszard born 3rd generation Jehovah's Witness 1957 some of the images below are from my first theocratic 'coloring book' and my nightmares.

    This pic above (not from the WT) is nearly identical to a Black and White 2' X 4' "visual aid" that my Elder dad used in public talks all over during the mid 1960's. --------- Danny Haszard Bangor Maine
  • joelbear

    i never really believed it.

  • freedom96

    I suppose I was different than many witnesses, in that I never dwelled on armaggeddon or the paradise. I just went through the motions.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Danny , that first picture , is that from" Paradise Lost" the orange book ? That was my first picture book too. I always tried to speed through those pictures.

  • DannyHaszard
    Danny , that first picture , is that from" Paradise Lost" the orange book

    Correct released 1958 i was born 1957 so it was literally my first teething book probably had toxic lead in the it too.

    My devout Haszard clan were pioneers back then (since 1952) so i got it shoved down my throat.

    There are other ghastly pics in it like the one of Christians being burned at the stake.

  • daystar

    Guys... Danny... it is so surreal seeing those pictures again after so many years. I can recall as a child just sitting and looking at those.

    That first one I can remember distinctly. I remember as a small boy looking at that little girl holding onto her little dolly and her dog, falling into that crack.. and just staring at it... My dear god, what a screwed up way to grow up...

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