GO BE YOURSELF HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND BE CONFIDENT AND PROUD OF WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE!!!!!
Thank you all! And Mike, I wish I could get her to switch to you to DJ! LOL
She and I are pretty tight. But then, my exit was only 12 months ago, I guess the tension is still fresh. I think I'm going to do what rebel8 suggested, LOL, skip wedding ceremony, have a couple shots of liquor, have dinner at the reception and split. Sounds like the best way to do it. I actually found out now that a very good friend of my ex hub is going to do the photography also, more and more from my congregation. I actually told her if there were anymore from mine coming, I absolutely wouldn't come
It's not so much the KH that would creep me out but the feelings and mixed emotions about the people there that dropped me like a bad habit when I made the decision to leave. Your right it's just a building. That's my take on it. Like I said...I would meet up with the person when I had a moment to be with that person.
Yeah, I have to agree with that. It's not just the building itself, but the fact that it will be filled with all the fake people at the fake people building. Brings back all the memories of lies, deciete, back stabbing, etc.
you should go if you would enjoy it and it would make your friend happy to see you.
you should behave as if they were regular people.
It's not so much the KH that would creep me out but the feelings and mixed emotions about the people there that dropped me like a bad habit when I made the decision to leave.
...the fact that it will be filled with all the fake people at the fake people building. Brings back all the memories of lies, deciete, back stabbing, etc.
Dealing with the emotions is the hard part, I agree.
It doesn't happen overnight, granted, but in time you can treat JWs pretty much the same as you do anyone else. They just happen to be people that we have a history with, but if you don't allow them to have any power over you then they can't harm you.
Some amount of emotions or dread may be there whenever dealing with JWs, but if you believe in yourself and how you live your life without their control, then there is nothing to be afraid of. Even if they shun you or treat you badly, that's their ill-informed choice. They are showing how small they really are. We can be bigger than that and allow them to make asses of themselves and pity them as we go about being the best person we can be.
That's why I usually accept wedding invitations(the few that I get anyway) and I usually pay my respects to a deceased one's family. I refuse to lower myself to their standards and shun them. If they choose to be rude and arrogant, their only hurting themselves, I've already moved on from that silliness.
Just remember if you go. No rice throwing. No clanging of dishes or glasses, or toasting the bride & groom. Often times no alcohol/adult beverages.. No garter throwing, No dollar dance........ Are you sure you wanna go?
Attending weddings and funerals are a constant bone of contention between me and my JW husband. I take these social events very seriously. In my opinion, it's the witnessing of the vows that is the core of the event, and as a friend, I never turn down an opportunity to support her on her wedding day. The only time I wouldn't is if I disapprove of the partner. When my JW husband suggests abstaining from a ceremony, or attending the reception but not the vows, I go ballistic. I figure he can sit at the back, sit when everyone stands, stands when everyone sits, and refuse to bow to any idols in attendance, but he still has an obligation to fulfill and it won't kill him to be there.
The reception is just the party, and I can take it or leave it.
If you absolutely cannot stomach the event, book a time to take your girlfriend out for coffee, perhaps a couple weeks after the honeymoon when things have settled down and the blush is off. Ask to see the photos and have a wonderful girly giggly time about it. Send a gift on the day of the wedding. That way, you still show your encouragement and support without supporting the institution, if you know what I mean.
Thanks to all, and to Dismembered, that's cute, I hear ya. Yes, I've already been told no alcohol at the reception. The last wedding I went to like that was an absolute bore, not that I think you have to have a drink to have fun, but it sure makes it easier to relax and enjoy.
Come to think of it, until now, I really didn't pay attention to the fact that they don't throw the boquet or any of that, is it because they think it's a superstition? How ridiculous, just another one.
I like your idea jgnat, very good suggestion!
I will hire you as one of my assistants taking cadid photos...but, there will be all of the above. The only thing is I usally wait till I get home to have a shot or two to wonder about all of the Wild S*** that went down. Take a look at this link below. I love being and entertainer and to celebrate with people every week...I am making friends every week...it is a cool thing!
just one of the many events I get to be a part of!