I just sent my JW family packing

by unbeliever 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • carla

    Thank you for yet one more example of 'loving jw's' and how 'wonderful' they are. Sorry you had to even put up with such rude, mooching relatives. Let us know the spin mom tries to put on it.

  • Gill

    Gary! You astound me! I can't believe that you paid your relatives bill.

    This thread has had me laughing all day.

    My husbands relatives completely shun us especially me and the children. My husband gets 'unshunned' when they need a job doing.

    His parents, who do not even look at our five children if they see them in the street, rang him and asked him to hire a van so that he could move a bunk bed into their spare room. They regularly have their JW grandchildren round to stay. He said No as he was having surgery on that day. His mother was miffed and said, 'well let's book it for the next day!'

    He hasn't heard from her since his refusal and she hasn't even bothered to ask how his surgery went.


  • Soledad
    By the way they acted I could tell they wanted my lifestyle.

    I was going to say the same thing, they sound like an envious bunch. I'm pretty sure there's a commandment about that......something "not covet......."

    Hey, tell us some more! What was that dinner conversation like? What did they order? Did they try to "encourage" you?

    The gym scene was too funny but I would have been so embarrassed.....

    I can relate to your story! I also had cousins who treated me like garbage when I went to visit them but then when they needed something from me I was expected to just shell out......I told them to go to hell.

    BTW good for you for standing up for yourself! You were a total BITCH (Babe In Total Control of Herself)!!

  • Scully
    If the only time I hear from people is when they need something..........

    Yeah, what Blondie said!

    Based on your experience with freeloading JW relatives, I am going to think about my JW relatives (and the non-JW ones, for that matter) for a while, and determine which ones will be worthy of my hospitality. It looks like it will be a very short list.

    BTW, to you for not caving to their rude expectations of having you pay for their $400 dinner. Sometimes you can avoid an embarrassing scene by asking the wait staff at the beginning of the evening to put the meals on separate bills. This has the psychological effect of getting the "guests" to pick their meals according to what they can afford, not what they want to mooch from you. At the end of the meal, if you're feeling generous, you can come out looking very generous by picking up a portion of the tab (like the wine, or dessert) or the entire bill, if you're feeling extremely generous. When people who are moochers and freeloaders go into a situation where they are expecting to have someone else pay the bill, they tend to go for the most expensive dishes, order extra appetizers and desserts, just because it isn't coming out of their pocket.

    When I was in my 20s, a couple of Sisters™ from my home congregation (800 miles away) decided to come and visit the new city I had moved to. Naturally, they expected to stay in my apartment (a bachelor apartment) and I tried to dissuade them from staying with me, due to its space limitations. They said it was probably going to be the same in a hotel, so they didn't mind. They never said anything to my face, and I did my best to spend time with them (even though I worked full time) in the evenings, but I heard back from family members that I was a terrible hostess because I only took them sightseeing on the weekend. The whole time they stayed with me, I cooked for them, gave them change for the coin laundry in the building, and bought bus tickets for them to explore the city while I was at work. They complained that the airfare was so expensive that they didn't have any spending money (hint, hint) and they wanted me to take a week off work (without pay) so I could cart them all over the city every day.

    Come to think of it, whenever I've hosted JWs (other than my parents or folks their age) it seems like they feel that they are entitled to abuse our hospitality in ways that you've described. They don't have the time of day for you in normal circumstances, but when they take a vacation in your town, they expect you to do the Christian™ thing and put up with their crap for a week.

    The best experiences I've ever had were hosting other exJWs. Seriously.

  • DaCheech

    My inlaws JW tenants are very irresponsible. My inlaws are older and the young JW tenants do not even take the garbage outside

  • Poztate
    I haven't added any new ones for a while. We keep getting posts like this thread, and there might be a whole new book:-) I love the freeloading JW relatives theme. Lots of possibilities. :-) I loved the $400 restaurant tab. Hahaha!! I had that done to me by a Witness couple years ago in Arlington Texas. At the time it sucked. I did pay. Hahaha!!!

    Gary...Get those creative juices flowing. I would love to see more okies stories or 500 pages about WT freeloaders

  • unbeliever

    Hi Soledad, The place we went to required reservations and they were so sweet to make them before they even got here. Here is where we went.....

    Le Cirque
    Prime Steakhouse
    For over a quarter century, Le Cirque has remained the gustatory temple at the epicenter of New York's social, business and power dining scenes. Ringmaster Sirio Maccioni, long recognized as the "world's most charismatic restaurateur," brought his Four-Star culinary magic to the Las Vegas Strip with the opening of Bellagio. Perched astride an eight-acre lake filled with dancing fountains, Le Cirque is a whimsical jewel box of color and detail, from the star-studded entry of polished woods to the sumptuous, swooping silk-tented ceiling. Le Cirque offers animated surroundings with vibrant French cookery that is by turns rustic and elegant: Braised Rabbit in Riesling with Spaetzle, Fava Beans and Wild Mushrooms; Roasted Chicken in Black Truffle Skin with Roasted Potatoes and Lobster Salad "Le Cirque" with Black Truffle Dressing. Le Cirque is the proud recipient of the AAA Five Diamond Award for 2006. Reservations required.
    (877) 2-DINE-LV
    (877) 234-6358

    Videos require Windows Media Player.

    We ordered the 3 course meal which was $98 a pop. So the $400 did not even include tax and tip. So we spent close to $500 actually between the 4 of us. Places like that you tip well because the service is impeccible. Look at the menu. You can get a good idea of the fine cooking this place has. None of us indulged in the liquor or it would have been so much more. Now the topic of conversation. There were some memorable moments and they asked how the family was doing and such. We did touch on my sister though who is df'd. Now they asked me a long time ago when I was coming back and I told them never. They asked why never and I said because its a cult that breaks up families. They know that's what I think of their religion and they still wanted to come and stay with me. I guess me not getting baptized they are willing to make allowances. Plus they think my dad has brainwashed me against the witnesses. Back to my sister. They asked me how she was doing. They have not spoken to her in like 14 years. So I told them how wonderful she is doing. I said she and her husband are doing great and that their business is very successful. They are building a beautiful new house on 10 acres of land they just bought. The reason I went into so much detail is because witnesses think that when you leave the cult your life goes to shit. I wanted them to know how great her life has been outside the cult. I told them how great her kids were doing in school and their future plans for college. They then asked me if any of them go to KH. I then told them they knew the answer to that and why ask a question they already know the answer to. It's kind of funny because my mom blames me for the grandkids not attending. When I quit going they quit. I know she told them that because it's a really sore topic with her. Then they asked me about my brother and they made a curt little remark about him getting a divorce. You know it's such a shame that 2 of the 4 of you have been divorced. Like they were saying if they had Jehovah in their life they would not be divorced. I responded that he is so happy to be divorced and he has a great new GF who he is crazy about and I told them about his wonderful high paying job. That he plans to branch out on his own soon and start his own business. Then they asked about my other brother and made a curt remark about how they heard his wife left him and their son. I said you don't even want to go down that road. What really happened is my brothers wife moved next door because her and my brother needed a breather from each other and they got back together a week later and are very much back together. They even had another baby a year ago. I felt they did not need to know what happened so I did not tell them because it's none of their damn business. So I said enough about my siblings lets talk about you guys. They told me they were so happy and fillfulled they were serving Jehovah. How they were pioneering and I asked them what kind of work they did. Two of them clean office buildings at night and the other works as a waitress part-time. I asked them if they still lived at home? The standard of living in CA is so high that it must be hard to make it only working part-time. Yes they still live at home. They plan to continue to live at home as long as they pioneer. They asked me if I had a BF. I told them I was dating 3 different guys. They asked me if they knew that. I said of course. That's one of the fun things about being single being able to date different people w/o the expectation of marriage. My cousin the really greedy one said that he could not imagine dating 3 different women at the same time. I said you don't know what you are missing out on. Then I said just because I am dating 3 different guys does not mean I am sleeping with them. People in the big bad world don't necessairly go to bed with a different person every weekend. Then we talked about some other family members who are very happy serving Jehovah. That's what it always came back to with them how happy they were serving Jehovah. How content they were. Blaw blaw. I don't believe it for a second though. You could tell they were missing something from their lives. One thing we talked about the witnesses was the do more do more do more. I asked them if they ever get sick of doing more. When is enough enough? You know what they did not have an answer for me. As usual they quickly changed the topic to something safe. Those were the interesting conversations we had. It was an interesting 2 days but I sure do not want to see them again.

  • divejunkie

    My sister in law's husband is an elder. He is the laziest, cheapest man I've ever met.
    He's a CPA, has his own business with his main account being a small community college in his town. He also has several restaurants and a couple of hardware stores as clients among other things. In other words, he is doing very well.

    But whenever he is going to travel, he'll start calling in every JW he knows in whatever town he's going to and ask if they can provide lodging. The thing is he does it in an oficial manner, like they would do when they ask for lodging for traveling overseers, or conventions. There is always a sucker that falls for it, and then has to put up with the company. He is also the kind of person that expects to be catered to when he visits. He'll ask to go to expensive restaurants, to use the cars of the people he's staying with -he never pays for the rental - and everybody has to go and see what he wants, nobody else's opinions or interests are taken into consideration.

    Sometimes he'll coordinate a "group vacation" and he'll say that he'll take care of the loding expenses if somebody else covers his transportation and meals for him and his wife. People figure it's a good deal and say yes. Little do they know that he won't pay for a hotel but instead pull his "lodging arrangement" trick through his elder connections, and instead of staying all together in a nice hotel they'll be staying in somebody's house who they never met before, probably even far from the rest of the group. But they will still have to cover their part of the bargain.

    He is the father of all free loaders. Arrogant son of a bitch...

  • xjwms

    What a nightmare......

    Were you happy to see the back of them ???

    as they were leaving.???

  • buffalosrfree

    Unfortuanately this reminds me of how some of the so called brothers and sisters in the congregation try and take advantage of others. My daughter goes to a congregation at a distance from where my wife goes. while there she met a sister and her two daughters whom we had known years before. It wasn't long after that, that the sister asked my daughter to give her (not loan now) but give her $200.00 so that she could by somethings she had been wanting. She told my daughter that your single, live with family, so you don't have very many expenses so you should be more than willing to give (not loan) me the money. My daughter just ignored her and blew it off. Well a couple of months after thats she is asking my daughter to ask her aunt and mother to make this woman and her two daughters some food that they remembered having ate at our house before and she wanted some more. Well my daughter told her you ask them, and by the way were you going to buy the food that would need fixing. She the sister had no intention of paying for anything.

    Several weeks after this she told my daughter please have your mom and dad come down and eat dinner with us. Guess who she wanted to pick up the check for the dinner? This is something she and her daughters have pulled in the past, I told my wife i wouldn't cross the street to go and have dinner with them and you know as well as I do that they want us to pay for them and any other guests that they happen to invite and no i don't want to go and see them. They are nothing but users, she pioneers and likes to use people. .

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