Why are friendships important to you?

by serendipity 18 Replies latest social relationships

  • lucifer
  • doofdaddy


    Depends on the day for me.

    At this moment, it is raining. The sun is making a feeble attempt to squeeze thru the clouds. I guess this atmosphere makes me more mindful of relationships. My daughter has already texted this morning. She is not my friend but I love her more than life. I am her dad, not her friend.

    Aquantences I have many. Friends, as in sharing my deepest thoughts? I guess there are different people for different pieces. So no, there is no one I would call a special friend.

    There is a huge difference between being alone and lonely. Generally I enjoy my own space but people do fascinate me. Everyone has a story to tell and I've loved stories since I was a child.

    Sometimes I feel a friend to all humanity, other times I despair at the callous and selfish behaviour of others, esp those I hold dear.

  • anewme

    Until I met my present husband I had always felt very alone in this world. Neither father, mother, brother, or friends could reach my inner heart. This man has become a good friend in this world.
    My wish is his command.


    I am so grateful to finally find this true friend. He is here. He can be touched. Our days are a continuing dance.

    Funny, I thought I had made a friend when I worked at a retail store for a year. I send her cards and emails and inquire about her son etc.
    Yesterday I got a call from her to tell me her boyfriend died of a heart attack. I played the consoling friend and said all the right things....he was so good to you, you were so good to him, how sad, etc...
    I then tried to get something out of the long call (she was going on and on how he had named her on his pension and how much money she would be getting out of it for the rest of her life.) So I said how nice it was that she and I had become such good friends after working together for the year.

    How surprised I was to hear "Oh you and I are not that close of friends. I have closer friends. In fact you have made me quite angry at times, but that is for another conversation."

    "Excuse me?" "When did I cause you to be angry?"

    "I dont want to discuss that right now, we are discussing my boyfriends death and benefits to me"
    "Please be respectful of my emotions right now"

    (Foreboding music should have started playing as I began to realize that yet another selfish loser weirdo has worked herself into my life again.)

    After what I've been through and the dfing and all I lost through it,
    I now think a real friend is very hard to find. We walk alone for the most part. And each of us should protect ourselves and center for ourselves in relation to other people. If you dont think its a jungle out there, you are mistaken.

    Maybe I've set up my friendships wrong. I need to review my errors. My new husband says friendship is a two way street. Dont give more than you get. If a person shows himself or herself worthy of friendship, then move to the next level. But true love and friendship can take time to build.

    I have been so mistaken at times thinking I am "clicking" with someone, only to reach a tragedy of misunderstanding and hurt feelings.....yuck.

    Better to withhold the heart until more info is gathered.

    Its only taken me how long to learn this?????

    (Good grief)

  • DigitalFokus

    I changed schools 14 times by the 8th grade, all in an area of rural rednecks and being half-mexican lets just say it was hard on a kid. Always being the new breed in school. I didn't have many friends and actually if you didn't count my 2 younger brothers i would have none though out my years at school.

    the friends i did have were usually the troubled kids with simalar family backgrounds. The mexicans in school gave me shit for not being able to speak spanish, and the other kids didn't like another mexican in their school.

    I guess the point is that i was never used to true friendship until i was 20 and meet the best friend a person could ever ask for. The friendship i have with him is the best and only true friendship i have and is very important to me because i have had those friendships that are superficial and the "friend" is only in it for what they can get out of you. but this guy is a true friend. he is ther for me and i for him.

    I was born with 2 brothers and now i have had 3 for the last 8 years. I cherish all three brothers because of their loyalty, brutal honesty and the fact that anyone of us would do ANYTING to help the others out, and that has been proven.

  • moshe

    A true friend will loan you a $100- no questions. All the rest are aquaintances. A super-duper friend will pay your $1000 BAIL to spring you out of jail.


  • Nosferatu

    I tend to distance myself from people rather than bring them closer. I have two really good friends. I also have my wife who is a fantastic companion.

    I've gotten screwed by so many people in life. My two good friends have never screwed me. My ex-best friend that I had for 20 years screwed me many times. I finally got fed up and kicked him out of my life. I've been screwed by my parents too.

    All of this makes it much more difficult to trust people. But the people I can trust are worth it.

  • Belief

    *sings* Everybody needs somebody to lean.......... on

  • JUG

    The only freinds that are important to me are the ones that feel and act the same way about freinship as I do. the ones that are loyal and honest hearted but loyalty is the bigest thing with me. I guess its realy important to me because I know that no matter how secure with who I am or how endipendent I am, its still good to know someones got your back when it comes down to it.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Friendships with women have always been difficult for me because there is always the "cat factor." My experience is that women *always* are hard to have friendships with, because they are not real. You make friends with a lady, and her MAN is always in the equation, when her man doesn't like yer politics, she'll more than likely write you off. I haven't had the experience of another woman trying to take my husband, but my husband has some responsibility in that, too. If he's cattin around, and he sleeps with someone, well that is a BIG problem. Mostly with him, cuz he's the one that took the marriage vows. The single woman is less liable cuz she has no one to answer to.

    I like women that are REAL. I like women that are self-secure, self-motivating, and self-idealized. I don't like games, AT ALL. A friend to me is totally honest. I have had the privilege of experiencing a friendship like that, and that is without equal. It requires a lot of communication, but it exists. I don't accept anything less than I am willing to give.

    A friend can be the best thing that happened to you, or the worst nightmare of your life. Choose them wisely.


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