Why are friendships important to you?

by serendipity 18 Replies latest social relationships

  • serendipity

    My teenage daughter is out with her friends so I'm alone here tonight, but not lonely. Conventional wisdom suggests that a solitary life isn't healthy. Friends and close relationships help people live longer.

    I haven't had a close friend since 1988. That friendship ended when I was df'd. I've had work acquaintances, but once they left the job, I didn't keep in touch. As a single mother, I had very little free time, and preferred to spend time with my daughter, and to make an occasional appearance at family events.

    I'm content being alone and I do lots of stuff alone, though going to restaurants alone can be uncomfortable. If I meet people who I connect with, I would pursue friendships, but I'm not one who needs to socialize, so would not go out of my way to socialize with acquaintances. That seems to be more trouble than it's worth. I wonder if I'm missing a piece of the puzzle. Are there benefits to friendship I haven't considered? Why are friends important to you?

  • Quentin

    I have for many years held the believe that an individual has one or two friends through out their life time, all others are simply people you know. A friend is someone who knows what makes you tick. You do not have to see them on a daily basis, but when you do, no matter how much time has passed, nothing is amiss, you pick up where you left off. A friend has no alterial motive. They like you warts and all.

    Now, having said all that, I do not buy into the premise that being a loner is bad for your health. Sure, it's awkward at times, but it is relationships that bring more stress into your life than the absence of same. I don't think your missing out on anything, being a loner has more up side to it than being entangled in convoluted relationships with everyone that passes by. Enjoy your freedom.

  • IP_SEC

    I definately hear you seren. I like people. I like to socialize, but have never had many friends nor desired them. Do a lot alone and like it. I think I could probably feel lonely but never like I was alone even if I was the only person on earth.

    I have had people I've been particularly close to, but they are few and far between.

    I guess I find them important on an intellectual level. The exchange of ideas and persona rather than just a desire to not be alone.

  • beksbks

    I think it's why we come here partially. I enjoy my solitude, but I am definately a social creature. I love to share. I love to laugh, bouncing off the other persons witt and such. My family is a laugh riot. It's like a bunch of stand up comics trying to get the last best shot it. I love that. We can also be a bunch of ill tempered jerks, but all in all, I'd say it's worth it for the good times. Maybe that's the bottom line about friendships in general. The good times with friends are always better and more fulfilling than the best of times alone. IMO

  • greendawn

    It's a basic human necessity to be able to release emotional tension through socialising, also friends may be able to help you in times of need and you may also help them in their time of need. Life is give and take.

  • Ellie

    You have your daughter, I'm sure she is a close friend to you.

    I don't believe people need lots of friends, just one or two people close is plenty.

  • delilah
    I had one best friend. She died when we were young. Since then, I've met lots of wonderful people, many of whom, I consider my very good friends. I do not need to see them, or go out with them, or talk to them on a daily basis. However, when we do see, each other,or speak, we can pick up where we left off. I do not need to be with them every waking moment of the day...I rather like my solitude, some days. Friendships are important to me, because I like to be there, for friends, if they are in need, or feeling down, and to share the good times with. That's who I am.
  • jgnat

    Although I am an introvert, I enjoy a sense of community. This should be obvious, 8000 posts! Also, I wasn't burned as you all were with the superficial environment of the Kingdom Hall. I was a single parent for twenty years, and for those twenty years, I was content. But I saw more than one single parent fall apart after their reason for living flew the coop and they didn't need mom any more. When my children were in their mid-teens, I knew my day was coming. The phone was never for me anymore. I had no-where to go in the evening, so more and more I was on my own. So I joined an art class. It was the first non-family non-work related activity I had joined in fifteen years. My children thought I was cracked. I had a ball. And I developed a reputation as being my own woman, ready to roar! Who knew? One class made all the difference.

    The same thing, five years later when I moved to a small town, leaving my adult children behind. The first weekend I walked in to a local church and instantly made some friends. My time in that town is still precious to me. But the house was too quiet in the evening. Creepy. I had to have the radio on for background noise. So I picked up a husband to have someone to take care of. He's good at it, he lets me to all the cooking. But he takes care of nearly everything else, so I figure I'm ahead.

  • jgnat

    Oh, I almost forgot, we need a wider social network as part of my campaign to make sure my husband always has friends outside the Watchower Society. I keep a basket well stocked in a corner of my kitchen filled with home-made cookies and things to help build friendships with our neighbours. Food works!

  • lucifer

    My best friend in the whole world is like my other half, we have known each other for almost 6 years. It doens't matter how I'm feeling I never have to say a word and she can tell, and also help cheer me up. they know what ticks you and what makes you happy. I feel like if I ever needed anything she would at least try to help me. I can't imagine not having her as a friend, I dont mind doing things alone sometimes but I like the company as well.

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