I would like to write an article outlining some of the goofy stories that JWs believe. For example, when I was young, this story went around:
A couple decided that they would miss the meeting to go to see a hypnotist. After the show started, the hypnotist noticed that nothing seemed to be working. So, he turned to the audience and asked "Are there any Jehovah's Witnesses in the audience?" The couple was too embarassed to step forward. So the hypnotist tried his act again. Still it wouldn't work. He made another appeal to the audience. This time the couple came forward. The hypnotist asked them to leave. As soon as they left, the act started to work again.
Then there is the story of the person who stayed home from the meeting and decided to watch "Bewitched". After a while, his concience started bothering him, so he turned the TV off. Then a hand came out of the TV, and turned it back on again.
There is the story of the sister who was out in service and called on a man. After she left the door, she was approached by two police officers who said that the man had just killed the last two people who had come to his door. When they arrested him, they asked him why they didn't kill the JW woman. He said that he wouldn't touch her because of the two big guys with her. She was alone.
Anyway, there are a whole bunch of these stories that can be classed as mythology, folklore, superstition, or whatever. If you know any, please post them here. I may be able to use them.
Or, if you know of a link to a good thread on this subject, post it.
JW ghost, demon, superstition stories
by RunningMan 29 Replies latest jw friends
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RunningMan
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Sentient
Those stories were so ridiculous, but I remember hearing every single one you mentioned and those myths were the kinds of things that went a long way it keeping you scared and in ignorance. There were many stories actually in the publications about experiences with demons, hypnotists, churches and every other thing that keeps them deathly afraid. No wonder at first I had great difficulty with fear of demons after leaving. I remember in my first public talk including an experience of how ridiculous superstitions and myths were used to keep individuals trapped in Bablyonish captivity. Ha!
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Clam
One favourite story concerns a close friend of mine, Terry who is a spiritualist medium. The Dubs, two sisters turned up at his door and he invited them in to chat about religion. Then when they’re sitting down on a sofa, Terry says to one of them “Have you got a brother called Tom who’s in spirit?”. The sister replies “What do you mean? I had a brother who died and his name was Tom”. Terry says, “Well he’s here and he’s having a good laugh at you being in the home of a spiritualist”. The sisters turned white, got up and practically ran out of the door, never to be seen again.
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GetBusyLiving
My favorite is the story of the little girl who took her smurf doll to a Sunday afternoon meeting. Supposedly the smurfs expression would change from placid to exasperated every time the speaker said the word "Jehovah". Finally he couldn't take it anymore, jumped up and ran out of the Kingdom Hall.
My question was always, "How could he turn the doorknob since he was only four inches tall?"
GBL
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kittyeatzjdubs
My favorite is the story of the little girl who took her smurf doll to a Sunday afternoon meeting. Supposedly the smurfs expression would change from placid to exasperated every time the speaker said the word "Jehovah". Finally he couldn't take it anymore, jumped up and ran out of the Kingdom Hall.
the version i heard was that he jumped out of her purse during the opening song and yelled, ''i don't have to take this sh!t!!!'', and ran out of the kingdumb hall.
did anyone ever hear the story behind the sudden jdub boycott of the band Incubus? from what my sister heard from a friend of a friend of a friend's second cousin () a girl was caught masturbating in her room by her parents. when they confronted her about it, she said that demons were coming in her room at night and making her touch herself. they cleaned out her room and found 2 Incubus cd's..........
Mmmmhmmm...
I had to see for myself so I went and bought one of their cd's, put my player on repeat and listened to it all night while sleeping....I didn't get molested. I must not be sexy enough for the demons.
for those who don't know, an incubus is a male demon who supposedly has sexual relations w/ women in their sleep or something like that.
luv, jojo
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Leolaia
*** g76 4/8 p. 15 I Was a Faith Healer ***
I was really moved and decided at once to renounce these practices. I now understood that I had been serving the Devil and his demons through astrology and the practice of magic and by relying on some so-called "Holy Trinity" for assistance, which trinitarian idea was actually a hand-me-down from ancient Babylonish religion.
For several nights thereafter I could not sleep. I had dreadful nightmares in which sick persons were imploring me to cure them. Sometimes I heard dreadful noises, like stones falling on the roof, or I felt someone touching me. In my fright I would pray to Jehovah, begging him to rescue me, for I realized that I was suffering from demon attacks. For a whole month I suffered like this. In fact, I began to recover only after taking the advice of one of Jehovah’s Witnesses who urged me to burn all my old books on faith healing, astrology and magic.
*** g86 8/22 p. 11 The Demons Controlled Me ***
I WAS a spirit medium, a sorcerer, a male witch. I employed divination. I looked for omens. I bound others with spells. I practiced black magic and voodoo. ... In my communications with the demons, I began using these names when I spoke with them. And it seemed that whenever I dealt with a particular demon, that one’s personality and the way he worked differed from that of another demon I would call upon. I thus came to know scores of demons by name.
From my reading about occultism, I knew that the demons were angels who had lost God’s favor and were not the spirits, or souls, of people who had died. I had sympathy for these angels, and I particularly felt sorry for Satan. I became a worshiper of Satan, yet, contradictory as it was, I would at the same time pray to God. And when my prayers would be answered, I believed God had answered them. Satan had me thoroughly deceived.—2 Corinthians 11:14.
Although providing me special powers, the demons did not help me to be a good person. On the contrary, they twisted my thinking to hate rather than love. In time, I became a fornicator, thief, drunkard, drug abuser, and homosexual.
*** w87 9/1 p. 8 Shaking Off the Yoke of Spiritism ***
Mother was a hard worker. One day, while walking to her farm, she was knocked down and could not get up. The koenoe had chosen my mother. Her health weakened and she became paralyzed. She needed help—my help. But I was torn between love for her and fear of the demon that possessed her.... Mother died. Only three days later, I heard a friendly voice saying: "Lintina, Lintina, don’t you hear me? I’m calling you." That was the beginning of a misery so great that I wished for a quick death. First the demon troubled me only when I was going to sleep. As I was about to doze off, the voice would awaken me, talking about burial places and death.... Later the demon stepped up his attacks. Several times I felt as if he were strangling me. Though I tried to run away, I could not because a heavy weight seemed to press on my body. I wanted to scream but could not produce a sound. Still, I refused to worship my attacker.... One day I heard the foreboding voice of the demon say, "I will make your belly swell like a ball." Some time later, there was a hard lump in my belly that grew bigger until I looked pregnant .... Next, the demon threatened: "I’m finished with you. This is your end." "But you are not God, you are not Jesus," I cried. "Even God cannot stop me," the demon answered. "Your days are numbered." ...
My condition became so serious that my sons came from the interior to take me back to my village to die. Being too weak to travel, I refused. But feeling death approaching, I called the Witness to say farewell. Meena explained from the Bible that even if I died, there is the resurrection hope. "Resurrection? What do you mean?" "God can raise you to life in Paradise," she answered. A ray of hope! But that very night the demon possessed me. In a trance, I seemed to see the koenoe followed by a crowd of people. He ridiculed: "She thinks she is going to get a resurrection." Then the crowd laughed and laughed. But then I did something I had never done before. I called: "Jehovah! Jehovah!" That is all I knew to say. And the demon left!
*** w88 10/15 p. 27 Mental Distress—When It Afflicts a Christian ***
Some victims of mental difficulties fear they are under demonic attack, claiming at times to hear "voices." True, the demons have been known to make sane individuals behave irrationally. (Mark 5:2-6, 15) There is no proof that the demons are involved in most cases of bizarre behavior, any more than that they are involved in all cases of speechlessness, blindness, and epilepsy. Yet, back in Bible times, the demons sometimes caused (or at least aggravated) these very ailments!... So if the elders have good reason to suspect that demonic influence is involved, there is no harm in their making some inquiry. Has the person, for example, received any suspicious items directly and deliberately from individuals who are involved in some form of demonism? Disposal of such objects may bring relief (Acts 19:18-20). Since Christians are told to "oppose the Devil," the elders can also advise the afflicted one to reject any strange "voices" that could be of demonic origin. (James 4:7; Matthew 4:10) If a person feels under attack, he should pray fervently, calling upon Jehovah’s name out loud.—Ephesians 6:18; Proverbs 18:10.
Demonic involvement, however, appears to be the exception—not the rule. One sister relates: "I thought I was possessed by a demon until I sought medical help and was informed that I had a chemical imbalance. It gave me great relief to find out that it was an illness that was causing my actions and not some demon person that was inside of me!"
*** g89 4/22 pp. 12-13 Something Worse Than AIDS ***
I had no problem finding a job and a place to stay in San Francisco, California. A drug dealer offered me a job distributing drugs. I was also among his elite group who got to try, for free, all the new ‘designer drugs’ that would come along. I now had a new kind of popularity.
I vividly recall on one occasion running an extremely high fever and becoming very weak. My doctor didn’t know what I had. In time it passed. I wouldn’t know what I had been exposed to until three years later. During this time, I also began having trouble with the demons, once actually coming under attack. I felt that a demon was trying to enter my body. It was a struggle to get any words out of my mouth. I tried and tried until I finally was able to scream, "Help me Jehovah!" The demon immediately left.
Imagine how I felt! Here I was living a grossly immoral life and thinking only of myself, yet I had the nerve to call on Jehovah for help! I felt so ashamed.
*** w93 7/1 p. 31 She Found a Purpose in Life ***
I had stopped going to church eight years before, as I hated the hypocrisy I saw there. With the Witnesses, though, I recognized the ring of truth in what they said and came to realize that, after all, it is hard to live without God.
"Unhappily, after a few visits, contact with the Witnesses was lost. I felt miserable. I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day and even turned to drugs. Wanting to communicate with my deceased grandfather, I dabbled in spiritism. How frightened I was when alone at night I experienced demon attacks as a result! This lasted for months. Each evening I was terrified at the thought of being alone.
*** ol part 8 p. 28 [2002] Reject False Religion; Practice True Religion ***
One night while I was asleep in bed with my husband, I heard a voice call my name three times. Then I saw the ceiling split apart, and a fiery, ball-like object dropped onto my stomach. Of course, my husband could see none of these things. Nevertheless, I felt a terrible heat that lasted for several months.
Six months later, the voice called me again. Immediately, the whole house seemed to be in deep water. A large python came out of the water and crawled around my hand. I tried in vain to shake it off. I was terrified. Then the water and the snake vanished, and I was violently thrown to the ground. I was unconscious for several hours. The voice then told me to return to a spiritistic healing temple in the village. When I asked the spirit his name, he gave a name meaning "possessor of wealth but no child." He promised to make me rich through healing powers.
Sick people came to me from near and far. Before arriving at my house, they would appear in my special mirror. Then, as one arrived, I would slap my palm against his palm, and the nature of his sickness or problem along with the remedy would immediately be revealed to me. The spirit also told me how much money people had to pay. Money and gifts were pouring in because of the effectiveness of the cures. I became a "possessor of wealth," but I also learned the meaning of "no child." Each time I bore a child, his immediate senior would die. This was very distressing. During the 12 years that I served this spirit, six of my children died.
I began to pray to God for help. I prayed fervently. One day Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked at my door. Although I usually chased them away, that day I decided to listen. In the discussions that followed, I learned that I was serving a demon!
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Brigid
I've heard all of these! This is so funny!! I heard the one about the couple going to a hypnotist as get this--going to a John Denver concert (who apparently hated witnesses) He stopped his concert early on and said that the demons couldn't play the keyboards if there were witnesses in the building. Uh, yea--John Denver--not Marilyn Manson, folks--John Denver, not the earthy birkenstock clad environmentalist we all knew--oh no! That was just a cover for his true identity-----A consort to Satan and his demons!!!
And they mock worldly and third-world peoples for being superstitious!
LOL!!!
~Brigid
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Clam
Nice one Leolaia,
BTW I couldn't remember your name but in the "favourite avatar" thread I wanted to say it was yours. Very cute.
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Highlander
Wow, I do remember most of these 'urban legends'
Thanks for reminding me about this one:
My favorite is the story of the little girl who took her smurf doll to a Sunday afternoon meeting. Supposedly the smurfs expression would change from placid to exasperated every time the speaker said the word "Jehovah". Finally he couldn't take it anymore, jumped up and ran out of the Kingdom Hall.
My question was always, "How could he turn the doorknob since he was only four inches tall?"
GBL
I had forgotten about the smurf in the kingdom hall myth,, after reading the above I couldn't stop laughing. Thanx, I needed a good laugh. -
Sirona
Its amazing to read the stories that were PUBLISHED! They can't fall back on "chinese whispers" can they?
I remember reading one story which was published in WT or Awake about an african woman who'd dabbled in spiritism. When the JWs knocked on her door she felt hundreds of hands pulling her back trying to stop her from answering it.
A local JW told me how he used to practise spiritism and could predict the future. He said that when he became JW and went to the hall, he immediately recognised the faces of the JWs as ones he'd "seen" before. He claimed that through his demonic eyes they looked different from normal people.
Another one I heard was that a woman had a demon in her house which was throwing things around like crazy. A respected elder visited and walked in calmly saying "Jehovah banish this demon!" and all of the flying items fell to the ground and the demon was gone.
Sirona