Need advise...conditional love and it's coverup

by alamb 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • diamondblue1974

    If you live in Scotland then the Children Act 1989 applies I would imagine, or at least something similar to the law in England and Wales; I could pass on some contacts who are in my family law department; (the words iron fist-velvet glove come to mind) they are really aggressive when needs be.

    Just thinking off the top of my head you should be able to instigate criminal proceedings under Protection from Harassment Act 1997 as well as civil proceedings (a further injunction). PM me if you need any help!


  • carla

    There must be some legal aid available to you somewhere! Have you explained how the jw's work with the kids? including the lies and such? There is no reason you cannot show them the hypocricy of the org RandCam, Phillip Morris, etc... and they certainly should know about the pedophile problem especially in this situation. I would start antiwitnessing to them now. If they are school age they are old enough to understand how a decent report should be done. They can understand how the wt misquotes people. They can understand that, for example, they probably cannot translate a book in swaheeli, why? Because they don't know the language, same thing with the jw's, none of them even knew biblical greek. There are so many example where kids can understand dishonesty.

    Are others in your parents cong aware of your fathers molestation of you? Sorry, but I would use anything I had to to keep my kids out of a hall. Mess with my kids and it would be WWW3!

    Maybe a shelter that deals with abused kids or woman's shelter could give you some advice on the legal end. I don't get why it should cost you anything to have the police uphold a court order. crazy.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    One word - Pro-Bono.

    Call legal aid in your area and get a volunteer attorney to help. Just mention that your father is a child molester and the kids are in danger. I bet they come up with one to help you.


  • coffee_black

    Stillconcerned is an attorney, and is involved with jw peadophile cases. I think she might be able to give you some advice. She's in the US though...

    I would tell your daughters as much of the truth about the situation as they are able to understand. They definitely need to be warned about your father. Your sister in law and brother need to know as well. Don't cover up in any way for him...or your mother and her sick attitude about your molestation.

    Go to the police and establish a record of every time he violates the court order. He will continue to do this until you stop him.



  • Mary

    The court ordered that as long as my parents shun me, they are to have no contact with my children through my ex...all JW's. This is regularly violated and I can't afford to go back to court to continually regulate this.
    You shouldn't have to go to court every time this happens. Contact the police and tell them that your husband is violating a court order. Tell your ex-husband that if he takes the children to see your parents ever again, you'll have him charged----end of story.

    THe court ordered that my ex cannot take my children to my parents home as my father molested me and this was admitted to in court by my own mother who said I was "over 12" and "old enough".

    Oh dear god in heaven........I'm sorry to say this, but is your mother brain-dead??! She thought it was okay for your father to molest you??!! This is the main reason why your children should not be anywhere near them. I can't believe your ex-husband would be so stupid as to expose them to a pedophile!! What the hell is wrong with him??!!

    The judge told her to take her pious attitude and leave and he had a recess because he was subsequently ill. Alot like I feel now.

    The judge sounds like my kind of guy. You're going to have to stand up for yourself AND your children. You need to talk to a lawyer now. And I mean today. As for your father calling you on your cell phone, I'd tell him point blank that if he ever contacts you again, you'll have him charged. Get a restraining order against him. I'd also be telling your ex-husband that if he ever takes the kids to your parents again, not only will you have him charged, you'll go to the local newspapers and tell them that a Jehovah's Witness is knowingly exposing his own children to a man he knows is a pedophile. Stuff like this just disgusts me to no end.

  • unique1

    I would have your ex arrested every time it happens. You also need to talk to your daughters about molestation just to be sure they know that they can say NO and to come to you immediately. I can't believe a father would want his children around a pedophile. That is just insane. I would definitely have him arrested for violation of court order. If he ever does it again, have him arrested again.

    I hope it all works out for you and your children are able to understand why you are protecting them from their grandfather. Best Wishes.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Civil or not, it is a CRIME to violate a court order. The local District Attorney should be notified, the judge who entered the court order and of course, Child Protective Services. Some good advice on seeking legal counsel at cut-rate or pro bono has been given in this thread.

    Your ex is knowing that you'll feel inhibited by prospective legal costs to force them to obey the court order, so they're "doin' a dance" on what they figure to be your ineffectiveness at keeping them from going against the court order.

    You can either lay down and let 'em "mow your grass" or fight and win for your children's sakes.


  • tweety
    The court ordered that as long as my parents shun me, they are to have no contact with my children through my ex...all JW's. This is regularly violated and I can't afford to go back to court to continually regulate this.

    My ex-husband broke a court order 1 time and that was the last time. This may sound stupid....but I carried my court papers with me at alll times. (I live out of state from my ex, I couldn't take any chances)

    He refused to give me my child....I called the police and showed them my papers. I explained that he is one of Jehovah Witness's and he is breaking the law. They immediately went to his house and they talked to him about returning the child to Ms _____ . If not then I would be able to file a complaint and call my lawyer the next day.

    About hour later, I received a call from the police that Mr. JackA$$ is returning my daughter. Problem solved!

  • alamb

    Thank you for the responses. I'll be on the phone today again looking for some aid.

    To answer some questions:

    The congregation knows about the molestation. He is in a small town and they have few active JW's so they keep who they have. THere are move-ins who I used to warn about him and was threatened with DFing. I since DA'd and don't have access to who they are to warn them.

    I live in the US. My heart is in Scotland. Sorry for the confusion.

    Legal aid only exists in two counties in the state. I don't live in either.

    The children know of the situation with my father. They just say "we'll be careful". Which makes me sick. I have spent $80,000 fighting against spiritual warfare. I just settled the last of it last month.

    I'll call DCFS and the police right now. The problem is, I went to the state for a Protective order for them and my ex's attorney told the judge there is already wording covering it in the divorce, which there is. A divorce is a civil order which you go to court to enforce. A protective/restraining order would be criminal and would be a different ballgame. Last time I told them the civil order wasn't working that I needed the other, I was accused of "playing the courts."

    I'll call StillConcerned also. She has known of the situation for years but I'll let her know nothing has changed.

    Thank you all for the advise. I may need to represent myself.

  • unique1

    OK, I came up with an idea this morning. Go to the Clerk of Court and fill out a restraining order request against your grandfather on behalf of your children. The Clerks in our area will help you with this. When you go to court regarding the order take your Civil settlement with you so the Judge can see there has been a previous ruling in your favor. If the restraining order is granted, you can have your father arrested everytime he sees the kid. Perhaps your ex will eventually feel guilty for your Dad being arrested and stop taking the kids to see him. All you will have to pay is court costs if that.

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