God Hates Figs!!!!

by sixsixsixtynine 13 Replies latest social humour

  • Xandria
    Xandria

    Figs are sexual... in the 1900's it was shocking to watch someone eat a fig.. um because it represented a sexual act on a woman.

    The manner in which the fig was eaten was the key. They would cut the fig in a X manner and the spreading open of the fruit was the problem, after that there is no delicate way to eat the fruit. Figs are one of the oldest cultivated fruits in the world--and also one of the oldest symbols for women's sexuality...because of their shape, texture, and seeds...because of their association with the fig leaves in the Garden of Eden.

    The fig began life in Asia Minor--between Eastern Turkey and North India--and has spread to most parts of the world congenial to its growth. Its remains have been found in Neolithic excavations. On ancient Egyptian papyrus dating back to 1567-1085 BCE, it speaks itself about its origins:

    "Hear the voice of the figtree:
    'Compliments to my lady.
    Who more noble than I?
    Why not I your servant, if you have none?
    They brought me from Syria
    As plunder for the beloved.'"

    Greeks claimed that the Goddess Demeter gave it to them--and their athletes wore them as medals in sports contests.. Buddha gained enlightenment under a wild fig tree (though another species--the Ficus religiosa "bo" tree).

    TRYGAEUS (singing): You shall have a fine house, no cares and the finest of figs. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! LEADER OF THE CHORUS (singing): The bridegroom's fig is great and thick; the bride's very soft and tender.
    --Aristophanes, in Peace

    The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.--Song of Solomon 2: 13.

    Figs are one of the sexiest foods you can find on the market. For centuries, figs have been symbols of feminine sexuality, and it's not hard to see why: their delicate, curved shape, the softness of their skin and their sweet, tender insides... oh.

    http://www.sexandthekitchen.com/cgi-bin/webdata_dinner.pl?cgifunction=form&fid=1037812379

    Ah...

    X.

  • Spectrum
    Spectrum

    Xandria,
    If figs were too hot to handle then where did that leave bananas.

  • Xandria
    Xandria

    Ask Josphine Baker....

    X.

  • DaveNwisconsin
    DaveNwisconsin

    One time I ate so many figs that I learned to hate them. I got the coliwobles and it wasn't funny! I thought twice about eating that many again. It was horrible, I just went ppppllllllllll!

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