Will we ever fit in?

by montana96 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • willowmoon
    They don't judge me adversely or act like I'm afflicted with an infectious disease. However, they treat me as an equal and that goes a long way in the healing process.

    It must have felt good to be respected for what you said --

    and not dragged into the back room or parking lot for a verbal beating.


  • freedomlover

    Hey Montana -

    I struggle with this also. I had some new "worldly" friends when I left, but then we moved to start over and I don't know anyone. It's really hard to not have a girlfriend to just call up and be able to talk to. I know it takes time, but it's hard to re-establish contacts for myself and for my children.

    I know you said you have 2 girls and I do also. I was wondering how you are handling stuff like this with them and also what you might have said to your 11 year old about not going to meetings anymore. My oldest sounds just like her and we need to talk to her about all that. I would love your input when you feel like starting a topic on that!


  • Narkissos

    Hi Mercedes,

    Plenty of good comments and advice thus far.

    The only thing I'd like to add is: you might find that you are permanently unable to "fit in" anywhere the same way you did fit in the JWs. We used to work as cogs in a machinery, and that may not be possible anymore. Whether in a church, club or party, we now have to relate to others in a different way -- as radically autonomous individuals. That's a big change, somewhat painful and tiresome, but making any relationship all the more meaningful.

    Take care.

  • ithinkisee
    I wonder sometimes if some JWs are so conditioned to think that the rest of "worldly" humanity is dangerous, that they have real issues with forming normal friendships after breaking out of the cult.

    Referring to his daughter who left the JWs, one elder told me, "She said she doesn't really have any friends. I told her that's because you can't have any REAL friends in the world. Come back to the truth."

    Referring to his son who never was baptized and left, another elder told me, "He has had a hard time lately. He had some bad friends - and REALLY - what kind of friends can you make out in the world anyways?!"

    So ... yes ... JW's are so conditioned ...


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