In human sexuality, we all have things that turn us on and things that turn us off, things that attract us and things that don't. Often people think it is all about what you see in advertising, but often it is smaller things we think less of and yet it dominates our sex drive. For example, in a case study we did, we found that a lot of people would immediately answer things like "eyes" or "legs" and yet as we drove deeper into their answers, we found that eyes and legs were not what attracted people. We took close up pictures of eyes of different people and people would say yes and then we would show them the people as a whole and they would change the answer. For example, people would see a woman with blue eyes and go "yes that is something that attracts me and turns me on" and yet when they saw it was an overweight person, they changed their mind. Not always though, as some went from saying the eyes and saying no and then feeling different when they saw the person, as the person might be famous and known for being sexy, even though over weight. This is just a small amount of space to get across a complex question I am trying to ask, but basically what we found more often then not, was it was the personality that turned people on and actually had a deep attraction affect, that lasted beyond the first look. As we grow older, we grow in understanding of what we consider attractive and a personal turn on. We know it is not all eyes, legs, etc. We know it is more and if we don't, we owe it to ourselves to actually look in to that. As we found with some woman, they were actually turned on by males who were domineering and even abusive and did not realize it. Often saying it was the looks, or the way they dressed that did it for them. In any sense, what is something you consider attractive or unattractive, and why?
I will go first ...
I like someone who listens and responds with intelligence. Someone who stays consistent in personality with me and in groups and does not try and show off or be the center of attention when they want attention. I like someone who at least cares about their health and wants to be a positive influence on me and others, and supportive. I love a good conversationist and found that to be extremely attractive.
What turns me off and something I find unattractive ...
People who are vain and superficial. I so not like people who let themselves go physically and mentally. I hate ultra negative attitudes, but that does not mean I have problem with realist who say it like it is, as they are actually being someone with thoughts.
What do you all think?