I didn't realize it at the time, but I did the fade. I had to work more nights, and then meeting nights. I asked to be relieved of ministry school assignments for the holiday season, as I was working so many extra hours. It helped here in that my mom was one of those "needy" ones, and I was seen as "the good son". I'd often show up at meeting in my work uniform just to put in an appearance.
We then moved, not to far away but to a new hall. I also at the time got into an expensive time consuming hobby: poultry.
Then my health did deteriorate, and we moved 200+ miles away.
Looking back at it all, I was trying to actually dissapear and I was aware of that to a degree, it just seemed that the plan unfolded as needed. At this point I was already working on a time line to come out to my family, find a partner, and just enjoy the last few years before armagedon.
Thankfully, my best friend jump started the faith killing process and freed me of that, and my sister later outed me because she was mad at me. I am so thankful for these last two events as they really made me get going.
And now here I am, still working to create the life I want.