As the illusion fades, how do you deal with...

by tall penguin 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    I thought I'd bring this to the top and add an update from this weekend. I just started reading "Letting Go of the Person You Used To Be" by Tibetan Lama Surya Das. I'm finding it very useful in helping me to let go of the past version of "tall penguin" and to begin to see the current, in-the-now, version of her instead. Moving beyond being an ex-jw and seeing myself as a whole version of myself.
    He talks about what I brought up in this thread, the constant need to question and have answers. His comment is that the questionning is healthy. It prompts us on to higher consciousness. It's the need to have immediate answers that causes us heartache. We need to be patient with the process.
    I'm entering a more exciting phase of my life now. I'm beginning to get comfortable with the wondering and letting go of the need for answers. Now, I just put my questions on the back burner of my mind, trusting that the answers will come when they're ready or when I'm ready to integrate them. And those answers are not absolute but evolve and grow as I do.
    I'm learning each day the truth of this quote from Albert Einstein:
    "A problem cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created it."
    tall penguin

  • tetrapod.sapien

    hey TP,

    as far as i can tell, the truth about suffering in the universe is not perfect (as far as our imaginations are concerned), and certainly doesn't make the world a "better" place. but part of the journey you are on involves perhaps shedding ingrained concepts of "perfect" and "better". the world is already "perfect" and "better", even if our imaginations tell us otherwise.

    how do you deal with that on a day to day basis?

    i honestly don't think you can. even believing in the meaningless of it all, is still believing in something. a small comfort though, indeed.

    sometimes i remind myself that i am simply constrained by evolution, my biology, into certain patterns of coping behavour. some of which are the ability to imagine a "better" and "perfect" universe. and to see "evil" and "suffering" everywhere in human existence and the universe. but really, the universe is simply indifferent. unconscious. meaning that even if i am able to label a genocide, for example, as "evil" and "bad", the universe is still indifferent to it.

    we're pattern seekers, right? as animals in an object oriented world. our well evolved ability at this finds pattern in the indifference, and labels the things we find based on what we enjoy, and what we don't enjoy.

    i find some solace for my pattern seeking brain (good, bad, & ooh ooh hoo hoo haa!) in nihilism, sluttiness, drugs, food and wine, danger, art, partying, traveling and that sort of thing.

    but really, i can't offer much relief, like those funny xians. existence is a bitch-slap for sure. sorry. the truth sucks. i still smile though.


  • jeeprube

    I know exactly how you feel. At first the idea that the paradise earth and retribution through Armageddon might be false is almost unbearable.

    Here was my routine for coping:

    Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, beer, wine, whiskey, green tea, flavored green tea, health club membership, outdoor activities, college enrollement, this board.

    Life is harsh but beauty, love, and wisdom are out there. Start by looking for the beauty inside yourself, then figure out how to share that in this lifetime.

    Man I miss that whiskey sometimes.

  • freedomlover

    jeeprube -

    Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, beer, wine, whiskey

    lol, yeah. whiskey is quite helpful at times. and a good dark porter, or nice red, can do wonders for me.

    ha ha. gave me a good chuckle.

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