Hi there. It's very strange what happened to me those days. Right now im leaving the borg and moving from my appart(im with a Pioneer). Im keeping myself informed and right now im reading Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz. So I know that the Borg is not the truth and that ill not die in harmageddon and I feel well. But when I talk to a Witness or read a post of a Witness that says stupidity like we are deceiving people and come from Satan, it hurts me and I begin a sort of Panic Crisis. I feel bad i think that all the time I knew in my heart the the JW are the Truth and that I am leaving it willfully. So I calm myself by reading "apostate" stuff. Does anyone have the same problem ? Maybe when I will be disfellowshiped and will not talk with any JW I will feel better. I know objectivly that this come from my brainwashing (was raised in the "truth") but emotionnaly I feel bad. Any advice comments or opinions ? Genesis
Panic Crisis after talking to JW
They've taught you all the while to fear, fear, fear, if you ver leave them. You've formed a dependancy on JW's. Like all dependancies there is a withdrawel period. Just relax and remember. They haven't been right about anything in the past 125 years!
Yes, some people feel panic when contemplating leaving the witnesses and the resulting dfing.
Panic and excitement together.
Sometimes a person needs to make a clean break and take a vacation from the pressures for a while
whether that is quitting a job, moving from a neighborhood, getting a separation or divorce, or quitting a church for awhile.
Humans are under alot of pressure these days and it is understandable that at times relief is needed.
If you feel you need a break from the way your life is going, take it.
Nothing earth shaking is going to happen. Harmageddon will not occur.
Jehovah knows how badly you feel. Im sure he is sorry your poor heart is hurting the way it is.
Take a break. Take care of yourself. Take walks. Smell the roses. Feel the sunshine. Re-evaluate.
God wants you to be happy Genesis.
If you listen to testimonies from Jonestown or Koresh survivors ---they will tell you also that when leaving they had been so well under mind control they too felt the same way,,,, If I were you I think I would avoid all talks on the religion of JWS until you are able to use your brains for INDEPENDANT thinking..Of course in the witness eyes THAt is evil, but in the eyes of GOD THAT is why he gave us a brian to THINK!!! we could have been made robots, but we are going to be judged INDIVIDUALLY!!!! so think as an individual ( just keep up your prayer life to GOD the Creator >>>this is only my advice Since I was a jw for 25 years. I KNOW how hard it is to leave the cult.
Just remember what Freewilly said...
They haven't been right about anything in the past 125 years!
It was all a lie!
I went thru the same thing Genesis. At times I still battle with it. But I know that God would not bless this mess called Jw's. The organization is corrupt at the top and always has been. Keep reading Franz' books. I read CoC and ISoCF three times each I think. I still go back and read parts of them from time to time.
Just remember - you are not the 'apostate' here. The Watchtower society is ! They have deviated from the Bible and have proven to be false and wrong on all they have said. The brainwashing is hard to shake. You will.
I recommend two other books to you;
Apocalype Delayed James Penton
Four Presidents of the Watchtower Edmund Gruss
Peace to you.
I had a very similar feeling when I was warned not to listen to apostates. A couple of the"friends" came over and spent 2hrs studying/reading scriptures warning against apostacy,
I've felt horrible ever since, like I may in fact be committing the unforgivable sin,
Its normal, Genesis. You are being very brave. Its like you are coming off crack cocaine. You are bound to get the most awful panics, sweats and withdrawls. Your mood may swing wildly and you will experience lots of doubt. In all probability you will have guilt trips and dreams about it for many years.
Its normal, stick with it. Deep down you know the truth.
I know its all cobblers and yet I still dream im going out on field service, or that I have to marry my partner quick quick so I wont get destroyed. Then I wake up and im so happy I have a full and normal life to live instead of one wracked with fear and doubt.
Were with you. Lots of people will support you if you still want a relationship with God, or a spiritual life - it doesnt have to be through the WBTS.
When you're finished reading Crises of Conscience, read Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan.
Apostasy is played up by the Watchtower to be this terrible thing. It is leaving behind the teachings you formerly held. It even sounds bad, doesn't it?
But really, has the Watchtower kept their original teachings? They once forbade organ transplants and vaccinations, now they don't. They once allowed smoking, now they don't. They have waffled back and forth on some doctrinal points, sometimes in as little as a month.
If it is such a bad thing to change your beliefs, why does the Watchtower not mind doing it? And why does it upset them so when you do the same?
Relax. There may be a god out there somewhere, but if he's smart enough to build the universe, he's surely sharp enough to know that there is no single interpretation of the Bible that could be certified as "the truth".