Guilt, Conscience and Catchphrases

by Davey 33 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Davey 33
    Davey 33

    Hi All!

    Pleased to meet u all! I'm a newbie with a messed up head (Thanks to all those wasted years).

    My biggest problems are with guilt - I think its due to being raised as a JW. I feel guilty for almost everything - even when I know I haven't done anything wrong! The way your conscience is so highly tuned in the truth is the only explaination I can find. Also I find it hard to reason on a day to day basis without the old catch phrases bugging me.... ie "bad associations spoil useful habits", "everything in moderation", "You reap what you sow" etc etc etc etc!!!


    Can anyone suggest how to re-balance my guilt / conscience system? I have been out of it for around 5 years and still struggle.

    Please please - no bible bashing tho - I have soooooo had enough of that in my life - just practical suggestions - the tried and tested ones you know that work.

    Thanks and look forward to your words of wisdom!

    Davey xx

  • Legolas


    I was always feeling guilty as well...UNTIL I found out the TRUTH about the 'truth'! ( How it was all a LIE!)

  • garybuss


    It might not be guilt. It might be an anxiety disorder. I understand anxiety disorders can be marked by disturbing thoughts and some of those feel like guilt. You might want to see medical doctor and get a current physical and a therapist and get a good ground up psychological evaluation. I suggest both to post exit people anyway.

    Jumping to conclusions was about the only exercise I got for a while. Now I try to be objective. Some health issues are diagnosed by elimination. Try to eliminate a physical problem or an underlying disorder right away.

  • ferret


    Re: guilt

    From my own experiences and those of others I know time is the only remedy for guilt.

    It takes a long time to deprogram your brain from all you have been taught. It was six years

    after I left the borg before I started thinking on my own and let God back into my life.

    It was 1980 when I left (not voluntarily) but today it has been a blessing in disguise.

    If you have been out for five years it might be time to look into other faiths to fill the void, this will

    also help you to overcome the guilt. There are a lot of loving people out in the (world). I wish this

    site was around at the time I left. There is a lot of experience here that I appreciate 25 years later.

    Stick close and welcome aboard.

  • serendipity

    Hi Davey,

    My feelings of guilt come from a sense of responsibility for everything and everyone (probably left over from my childhood since I was the oldest and was responsible for my younger siblings.) I've worked hard to stop thinking I was responsible for everything, though it's been hard. Other people are adults and have to take responsibilty for their actions. I don't have to be the babysitter any longer.

    A couple of other causes of guilt are due to my JW upbringing. JW's use to frequently mention bloodguiltiness, as well as warning against stumbling others. I dealt with this by reading the Bible without the JW filters and realize that I have nothing to worry about, as JWs have overblown these matters. Also, I'm not a babysitter for oversensitive adults.

    When I feel guilty, I analyze my thoughts and ask myself: Do I really have anything to feel guilty about? Guess what the answer usually is? ;-)

    My two cents....

    (I sent you two PMs today. Please let me know if you received both of them. The second one isn't showing in my 'sent' box.)

  • DannyHaszard

    Howzabout a new positive affirmation catch-phrase FEEL > DEAL > HEAL the guilt complex i experienced for 5 years post exit has clinical names and it's called a mixed dynamic of stockholm syndrome cognitive dissonance and surrogate displacement rage google these keywords may be helpful.-Danny

  • greendawn

    Welcome to the forum Davey, the only way to get rid of the JW programming is by getting the antidote that is reading extensively the anti JW literature of which there is plenty by now and even on the internet, just do a Google search on watchtower, jehovah, taze Russell etc

    Once you study these objectively you will see that the watchtower is one gigantic system of deceit and manipulation and that this is a financial rather than a spiritual entity who will tell you ten lies before they tell you one truth. Eg they have nothing to do with the early Christian Church, their 1914 date is totally meaningless, their disfellowshipping policy has no biblical basis etc etc

  • iggy_the_fish

    join something maybe - I don't know what 'cause I don't know what you like or what you're good at - but sometimes it's nice to get involved with some 'worldlies' (who actually turn out to be splendid people mostly, despite what you've been told about them, though I guess you've worked that out already for yourself). Learn Spanish or the guitar (or even the spanish guitar), or join a choir/amateur drama group or something, maybe you'll meet some people you hit it off with. Sorry old bean, but them's the best suggestions I've got.

    Have a good new year in the West East Riding of Yorkshire,


    edited 'cause I put the wrong blinking riding down.

  • Cellist

    We got rid of those catch-phrases by either rewording them or reapplying them. We turned them into a joke rather than a serious matter. For instance: "Bad association spoils useful habits" we began applying to the JWs instead of the nonJWs. It broke up the programmed responses.


  • Golf

    Greetings. You need a few nights out with the boys at a strip club. How's that for starters? That should get your guilt conscience going.

    Kidding aside, relax and just be human. I've had lots of worldly experience while being a witness and I survived.

    Jesus was accused of hanging out with the prostitutes and drunks, didn't you ever read that?

    Enjoy the forum and life.


Share this