I might be retarded

justsomedude

Just like the subject says....

I'm trying to sneak away quietly from the WTBS so maybe I can keep my family and friends, though I know Im only dreaming really. I gave up acting a few months ago and quit going to the meetings, because I just couldnt sit through anymore. I figured faking it for the rest of my life was a price I was willing to pay for my family (who I have always had a good relationship with) not hating me, but I just couldnt pull it off. The last meeting I attended I was actually the watchtower reader and came damn close to saying "make believe God" while I was reading. When I read the mag before the meeting, I was feeling extra sarcastic and was using some artistic license as I was pre-reading. Its kind of funny now, but it would have been pretty horrifying at the time.

At any rate, tonight I went out for a bite to eat with two fairly recently baptised people and stuck my foot in my mouth royale..

As we were walking back to the truck, the subject of new years came up and whether jws celebrate it or not. After I could no longer listen to anymore bullshit under the guise of the bible, I went on a 15 minute rant and did everything short of saying that apostacy was for me. One of the more colorful aspects to my personality is I just cant seem to keep my mouth shut when I hear BS being piled high and deep.

So much for sneaking away. Damn Im stupid.

jgnat

OK, so you are a lousy fader.

BUT I am sure you are good at other things. You might have more fun making a stir. Richie does it. And so far it doesn't seem to have hurt him. At the rate he's going, he might make CO in a year or two. ...and a precious side-benefit is he manages to keep his dignity.

Finally-Free

I tried to fade too, and I managed to keep my mouth shut for a total of 5 months. For me that's a long time.

W

fairchild

As we were walking back to the truck, the subject of new years came up and whether jws celebrate it or not. After I could no longer listen to anymore bullshit under the guise of the bible, I went on a 15 minute rant and did everything short of saying that apostacy was for me. One of the more colorful aspects to my personality is I just cant seem to keep my mouth shut when I hear BS being piled high and deep.

Look at the bright side.. you might have opened their eyes to the real truth!

FlyingHighNow

Yeah, I said too much to my sister. Then last year they decided they could speak to me because my daughter was ill. My brother in law started calling me everyday in secret. He told me he was in trouble with the elders and he had righteous indignation over it. He had also figured out on his own that 607BCE was bull. So I spoke freely to him about my feelings. Then my sister threatened to leave him if he kept speaking to me. He's pushing 70 so he relented. And he also told me that though he realizes the 607 date is false, he thinks that the things that happened in 1914 and the next few years show we are in the last days anyway. *Sigh*

They finally told me they don't want to hear from me even if someone is dying. I wrote them back and told them they were setting a very poor example. You know, the Good Samaritan and all. They did apologize, my nephew and brother in law, but they haven't written since.

It's hard to keep it all quiet. It's like Jesus said, if he didn't say it, the rocks and stones would cry out.

justsomedude

I knew I wouldnt be able to keep my mouth shut forever, but I sure was hoping it would be longer than 3 months. Though technically I guess I didnt even make that as I have had a few small outbursts previous to this, but Im sure anyone present would have just chalked it up to me wanting to argue about everything.

As far as making anyone think... I dont really desire to change anyones faith. Not saying that it doesnt pain me to see so many people walking around with their collective heads up the governing body's butt. Just the same though, Id say say that Im definately agnostic at this point and while I'm just fine with that, I know that some people need that belief in a higher power to keep them going. Wrong or right, I dont really want to interfere with anyones happiness. Though I dont want to hear the ramblings of the decieved either.

Oddly enough I just had a visit a few minutes ago from some local elders, I dont know if it was coincidence or not. I tried to talk about everything except the jws, but knew it couldnt last forever. While I think I came through unscathed, I know this is just one of many stops that I can expect.

While I feel stupid bitching about my life when I know that I have had it so good and continue to have it so good when compared with so many on this board. I just cant help but think about the changes that my life will be going through. Its like any relationship breakup I guess.

PoppyR

I am so with you on this one, I'm finding it increasingly difficult not to speak out, and already I think rumours have started about apostasy! But it's HARD when you know the truth about the troof!

Dont worry too much, keep your head down for a while and good luck for a succesful fade (from one who's doing it too!)

If it doesn't work, it'll be hard, but you will have real friends here who will support you through it.

Big hugs

Poppy xxxxx

Legolas

One of the more colorful aspects to my personality is I just cant seem to keep my mouth shut when I hear BS being piled high and deep.

OH my gawd!!!! You must be my brother!

fullofdoubtnow

Hi justsomedude, and welcome

I don't think you are retarded at all, just honest about how you feel about the org now. I do hope you don't get into too much trouble for what you said, but it must be very hard to fade when your family are still in, and I wish you well.

love Linda

greendawn

There are tens of thousands of JWs like you that want to fade away because they realised that this religion is deceiving and exploiting them and that they sell them endless lies instead of the truth.

As long as you no longer contribute anything to this org through field service or otherwise, you have already made a big step in the right direction. At least they get nothing from you.

I might be retarded

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