Christmas at the in-laws...

by mrsjones5 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • mrsjones5

    So I'm sitting on the couch with my husband in his grandmother's house, where his mother and brother (he's 40 and lives in the damp basement of the house - keep this in mind) lives also, chatting with the mil and bil who are sitting in the love seat.

    Prior to this I had found a copy of an english version of the Kama Sutra in my mil's stack of books that she keeps next to the couch to read. I showed the book to my husband. Husband decided to tease his mother about the book. My mil declared that she didn't know what the book was about, until we explained it to her, and then confessed that the bil had bought it for her. She made sure to say that she would read it indepth since she now has a serious man.

    So we're sitting there chatting about the youngest bil (he's 21) and the impending birth of his first child in May and whether the bil who still lives at home will ever have any children. My mil declares that at home bil will never have children. Bil says nothing. Mil then declares that my husband is the crazy one and his brother has more brains that he does. I don't say anything but think to myself "No, the crazy one is sitting right next to you."

    This is my bil:

    He can't carry a conversation without sounding like a lunatic

    He's had the same job at the hospital he works at for over 20 years and still only makes $20,000 a year.

    He is responsible for paying his grandmother's phone bill but recently got it cut off for non-payment of said bill.

    He bought his mother a copy of the Kama Sutra.

    He doesn't pay rent to live at grandma's house but ever has any money and last time we saw him he asked my husband for $20. No one knows what he does with his money and it's one of his mother's main compliants.

    He lives in a damp basement - it's doesn't even have a private room.

    He will not drive on highways. He says it scares him. His mother says that he falls asleep on the road. So when mil wants to go anywhere of long distance she either calls my husband or her own brother to help.

    By comparasion my husband looks like a genius but to his mother he will always be the crazy one.


  • lonelysheep
    No one knows what he does with his money and it's one of his mother's main compliants.

    Could it be going to liquor and smokes (of the non-nicotine kind)?

  • MsMcDucket

    MrsJones, your MIL sounds like the stepmother of Cinderella. She knows that your husband is good, smart, and wanting her attention. She better look out, because when he stops seeking her attention, that's it. She better wise up. Hug your husband for me and tell him I think he's a great guy. How do I know? Cause you told me!

  • Es

    Seems to be the way in a lot of brother was and still is an absolute looser, very selfish too...and yet he will always be the fav in my fathers eyes even tho he doesnt even talk to my dad anymore


  • Billygoat

    That makes me so sad. My best friend is in a similar situation. Her father passed away when she was in high school or college. After that things with her sister and mother really changed. She's got a masters, is extremely well read, beautiful, sweet, compassionate to a fault, and her ill-tempered, selfish and manipulative sister is the favorite. My poor friend cries her heart out sometimes because no matter what she does, her mother barely gives her attention, let alone love. I think that's why we're so close. We have both lost our parents because of their own choice.

  • rebel8

    Um wow....let's say it all together now--"mama's boy"!! The whole story is sad, but the Kama Sutra thing....disturbing on so many levels. I imagine him and his mom in the damp non-private basement reading the book....ewwww

  • mrsjones5

    Thanks guys for all of your replies.

    I was talking to my husband about this last night and I told him that I thought the reason why his brother was still at living at home with his mother was because he has the ranking of favorite son. I guess it doesnt matter to him that he's basicly wasting his life as long as he is favored son.

    And it's funny cuz everytime we go down there my bil always seems to want to have a competition with my husband over the silliest things. I remember once it was about how many people they each knew, bil firmly believed he knew more people than hubby - who gives a *#%&?! The latest one was about cell phones. Hubby has a blackberry, bil says oh I'm gonna get one of those. I lost interest in the conversation after that.

    My husband is a very sweet, happy, positive kind of guy who had to leave home in the dark of night in his underwear barefoot at the age of 15 because his mother was trying to kill him. No lie, the woman was actively trying to kill him, she even admitts it. My husband hid out for a few weeks at friends' house because he didnt dare go to any of his family who would have delivered him right back to his mother.

    My husband developed his positive attitude in direct opposition to his mother. I dont think hubby has really forgiven his mother for the horrenous abuse of his childhood, but I do think they are at an somewhat uneasy truse and one of the reasons it hasnt exploded is because of me and the kids. Have I told you my mil actually likes me more than her own son?

    Sometimes I get the feeling that when we left Calfornia to move here we jumped from the frying pan into the fire, but I am thankful we live 2 hours away from the madness of the inlaws.


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