I think that the best thing to do when the JW's shun you is to go find friends "out there in the world" the fastest possible so that their shunning wont get to you as much.
Shunning someone is one of the worst things anybody can do, JW or not
Sometimes I don't handle it very well.
One of my daughters, I have not seen for over 3 years. When I saw a recent picture of her...I cried. There were several girls in the pic.
I had to ask..."which one is ________?"
She was the pretty one.
In the beginning it hurt. People never knew the real truth about what happened. All they knew was whatever he said and whatever they could make up. And boy oh boy did they ever make it up.
So true. Then it changes the longer you are gone. This last year I have a much better handle on it. I dont shrink when I see one..JW that is. They are the ones dong a hateful thing and I refuse to lower my head.
Being shunned by my elder father (who'sinvestinginthefuturewithrealestateandrentalpropertychucklechuckle) causes zero major concern, but I sympathize with my mother who because of this is unable to have meaningful contact with her first-born son. So although I am the shunned, the worst effects go to an innocent party. (i.e., "just a sister," not invested in patricentric hegemonies.)
When you consider that the JW's that are df'd and shunned are probably the ones who needed the most help in the first place----yeah CRUEL policy.
I made new friends. Know what? The friends I have now (and I must count a sister who is shunned right along with me) would stand up for me through HELL and HIGH WATER! I have NO fair whether friends. When bad times came, they never gave up. They were my encouragement, my lifesaver. What kills me---their love never depended on ANYBODY ELSE SAYING IT WAS OKAY TO LOVE ME! And if you told one of my friends now that they could never speak to me again it would mean I am in my grave (and I think most of them would TRY then).
I think that SHUNNING in and of itself is a perfectly valid social alternative: it certainly beats stoning (pun intended).
What is unhealthy is the sort of organized shunning that the Watchtower advocates - shun someone because he is at odds with our "spiritual authority." When people are forced to do something that they feel is wrong, like shunning an old friend because the "priest" tells him to, it creates mental conflicts.
I think that some of them some how feel morally superior for shunning their former friends and family members. Like they are some how truelly able to please God by doing this. They have to know it hurts which makes it even worse when there are those jw's out there that really do enjoy the shunning factor.
I think shunning someone is a cruel and evil act of hate. I will not shun someone on any account unless they are just dispicable people. Shunning hurts in the most deepest way especially when it comes from someone you love.
I have been shunned by both family and friends both in the society and out of the society. I have been falsely accused of things I would never dream of doing and this all coming from my dub mother who is the most hateful person I know.
I never could understand where or why they get there reasoning when the scriptures teaches all about love and against hate. I deal today with a great deal of pain from this act, and I don't know if I can ever get over it. You know we all got to live and continue to live until the end, but I think it sucks when someone hates you so bad just because you disagree with someones belief.
I never had any friends(gee some things never change) so I never really got shunned.
Oldflame said, (emphasis added by me)
I think shunning someone is a cruel and evil act of hate. I will not shun someone on any account unless they are just dispicable people.
...and someone might suggest that it is a cruel and evil act of hateful JUDGMENT to decide that a person is "dispicable."
Hippy liberalism sets a trap for itself.