Why would a current JW choose to be rude and offensive?

by AlmostAtheist 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • AlmostAtheist

    I've recently had lengthy pm discussions with a person claiming to be a current JW. This person has been above the standard level of arrogant for a JW, raising conceit to practically a defining characteristic. You almost expect that when you're dealing with a member of the "elite".

    But he goes beyond it. He's rude, insulting, and oh-so condescending. When it's pointed out, he doesn't apologize or tone it down. Instead, he justifies it, pointing to Bible characters that were forthright and perhaps even rude.

    I recall saying to him after many, many ignored insults and lighter warnings, "Is it really possible that a 'True Christian' needs a lesson in civility from an atheist?"

    When he actually started insulting my wife and going in directions that simply weren't appropriate, I decided to cut off my association with him. I warned him, 'knock it off, or don't write back.' Following whatever holy example he thinks he's following, he entirely failed to knock it off. I don't intend to reply.

    But it makes me wonder. Why on earth would a person claiming to be a Christian be so obnoxious? And once it was pointed out, why continue it? What purpose could it serve?

    I remember him telling me he hoped it would "wake me up". I explained that if he actually had something to say to someone, they aren't going to hear it over the din of his insulting tone. He apparently didn't agree.

    what do you think? This isn't the first rude JW that's waltzed in here, shooting up the place. And JW's aren't the only ones that do it. What motivates this behavior?


  • AuldSoul

    I don't know. But I can tell you, that is the sort of poster that crawls straight up my spine in the worst way. Maybe because I was so arrogant and deceived as a JW?

    This person probably casts you as Zimri and himself as Phinheas, you as Pharoah and himself as Moses, etc.


  • Scully

    The mentality that Jehovah Is On My Side™ can cause that kind of behaviour to surface. They think that just because they believe they are "right" allows them to be abusive with impunity.

    They may even point to the example of the way Jesus addressed the Pharisees, calling them "serpents", "offspring of vipers", "hypocrites", "whitewashed graves full of dead men's bones", etc. and say that it is appropriate to follow his example with opposers.

    The fact that it is a huge turn-off and doesn't contribute to open dialogue doesn't even enter their minds.

  • Finally-Free

    I've recently exchanged emails with a number of active JWs, some are even elders, or claim to be. All of them have been insulting and arrogant. When I pointed it out to them they responded with more insults. I found the best way to get them to stop responding is to tell them that I'll pray for them.


  • AlmostAtheist
    This person probably casts you as Zimri and himself as Phinheas, you as Pharoah and himself as Moses, etc.

    More along the lines of me=Korah and him=Jehovah, but yeah, you get the idea... And I recall being a tad arrogant myself. Maybe a bit more than a tad. Perhaps more than that, even.


    Agreed, the knowledge that you represent Jehovah is like having a big brother on the playground. "And there's nothing you can do about it, 'cause my big brother will beat you up!" I understand their big brother is coming this way, and he's just around the corner, so I better just lay back and take it, eh?


  • willowmoon

    Dave, the attitude and approach you describe was once explained to me as some sort of "tough love" --

    maybe a twisted interpretation and certainly doesn't justify it IMO, just tossing it in for consideration.


  • AlmostAtheist
    Dave, the attitude and approach you describe was once explained to me as some sort of "tough love" --

    Yes! That is exactly the way he seemed to think he was acting. I got the impression that he genuinely cared for me, but only in the sense that he credited me with one day being a JW, and he loved that person I might become. As long as that possibilty was out there, he thought he should smack me around, kick me in the groin, and spray paint my dog until I finally agreed that his God teaches him how to live right.

    Twisted, you say? Yeah, I'd have to agree.


  • blondie

    He probably views you as he thinks Jesus did the Pharisees.


    w04 2/1 p. 5 How You Can Satisfy Your Spiritual Needs ***

    Jesus said to the religious leaders of his day: "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because you resemble whitewashed graves, which outwardly indeed appear beautiful but inside are full of dead men’s bones and of every sort of uncleanness. In that way you also, outwardly indeed, appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."—Matthew 23:27, 28.

    But he forgets he is not Jesus Christ, able to read hearts.


    w00 5/1 p. 12 Firmly Uphold Godly Teaching ***

    At the same time, they avoid imputing wrong motives to their brothers and are not overhasty to view them as apostates.

    Over the years I have not met too many elders/brothers with big mouths. He may be "bold" because he thinks that no one (on earth any way) can hold him accountable for his actions towards you and your wife.

    I would make it impossible for him to talk to you any more. Don't engage him, walk away, or find someone to witness his unchristian behavior whose "good opinion" he does care about.


  • wombat

    The internet is such a hiding place.

    Could your correspondent be a meek little mouse in the KH, ignored by all, and trying to assert his/her self here?

    An attention getter? Ignored by even their own spouse so has to chat to someone? And he shouldn't even be here unless he knows something better than the FDS. He's a jerk.

    I am sure that you would be prepared to PM your phone number to that person for a chat. I tell you now, there's no way that coward will give you his.

    He's just a silly wanker. WOFTAM..........Wombat.

  • AlmostAtheist
    I would make it impossible for him to talk to you any more.

    I did foolishly give him my email address, and of course he can still pm me. But I think your advice is sound, and I'm going to take it. When he sees his pm's not getting read and his emails not getting responded to, I guess he'll get bored and go attack someone else.

    I don't care, hell, I couldn't care less what his opinion is of me. I only hoped to break his JW shell a bit. But I only have so much time and I'm SURE not got to spend any more of it on him.

    I think I'll take the advice offered by the Apostle Paul at 1 Corinthians 5:10: "Quit mixing in company with a ... person that is a reviler." (Wouldn't wanna piss off Paul!)


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