My Family or Thiers?

by Dondi 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Dondi

    I want to thank all of you for your replies. Reading them I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Man I wish someoone would create a great documentary on this so called religion and expose them for what they really are! their robbing me of my family. I fear that we will not be together like I wish. Again thanks guys.

  • mustang

    (hope this works; I haven't done a jpg in a while and I am guessing at the current times on some of these factors )

    FYI, you might want to consider this. This is a "typical" schedule of what is expected of a "witness":


  • DavidChristopher

    Welcome Dondi!!!

    What "his assholiness" wants is for Jesus to come and kill all the "sinners" "crackheads", and used car salesmen, so He can enjoy paradise without having to be reminded all the time, and surrounded by his mistakes. Would you be happy if you lived in a junkyard full of cars you couldn't fix, and didn't try to fix? I would say it would suck, and "salvation" would be someone to come remove them for you. But I could be wrong....

    your little brother,


  • mustang

    I'll try a larger jpg....


  • Seeking Knowledge
    Seeking Knowledge


    This is a good thread to read to start. I feel your pain, I really's hard when the person you love and expected to grow old with suddenly changes directions on you without any regard to how you feel. I'm not a JW, but been there done that. It's not easy, but you still have her attention so with support from this board as well as the massive amounts of information you can get, you may have a chance. She left before so she had doubts. Perhaps she's feeling overwhelmed and they have what she thinks she needs to function. Either way, going to her "territory" to seek help won't give you a balanced anything unless you plan to study alongside her and join her.

    Good luck, welcome to the board, and stick around.


  • Double Edge
    Double Edge
    she doesnt want to know who originally translated their NWT, she doesnt want to know of all the Watchtower contraversial statements of the past, the false prophecies or the fact that God would have left his people with out the "true" religion untill the late 1800's.

    Maybe you should take it from a different angle ... what is it that she does want to know? What is important to her? Is it important for her to know that God (Jehovah) is in her life and is guiding her and wants her to be happy?

    Is it important for her to know that the JWs began as Bible Students, and that the Bible Students are still around with the same doctrine ... so who changed? Check out:

    I've never been a dub, but IF I were ever to start 'studying' (it would never happen) I would be very curious to know how they can dismiss the first 30 years of their beginnings .... who left whom? my 2 cents...

  • DaveNwisconsin

    It sounds like you are in a sticky place. For my family Mom was a JW and no one else was. The kids all grew up to resent her because we were always looked at as being different. Kind of like freaks. I have a brother today who is 46 and claims that my Mothers JW faith totally wrecked his childhood. If you really love her I would try to find a way to get her out of it. This sounds strong but our childhood sucked growing up with a JW mother. I am so happy as an adult to have joined a main stream religion and now that Mom is gone I want nothing to do with the JW hall people. Your children if made to follow there ways will be looked at the same way. Kids can be mean, and your children will have to live with the scars left behind from these people. My Mom died just a few weeks ago and the JW's didn't even show for her wake service. She worked her butt off for them for like 40 years and thats how they thanked her. Sorry if this sounds strong but I have lived as your child will live if you let this go on. Best of luck, Dave

  • LDH
    I truly Love her and wish we can agree on researching the background together but she is close minded, she doesnt want to know who originally translated their NWT, she doesnt want to know of all the Watchtower contraversial statements of the past, the false prophecies or the fact that God would have left his people with out the "true" religion untill the late 1800's.

    Welcome to Cognitive Dissonance 101. Most of us pretty much have the same story, the details are just different.

    Don't worry about Quango, he works for the Borg and his job is to assimilate you.


  • jgnat

    First of all, thank you very much Aude_Sapere for providing excellent information in a pinch. I've been thinking about your problem all day, Dondi. You are in a pickle, no doubt about it. Gary Buss may be right; it sounds like the woman you love has been taken over by the cult personality, and you may soon have to concentrate on saving your children from a JW childhood.

    First of all, if I were you I'd take a few days off to grieve what you lost. The woman you have been talking to lately is not the lady you fell in love with and moved in with. Before you can move on, I seriously think you have to reconcile yourself to this loss, so you can begin to understand this new woman and learn to deal with her.

    Second, stop arguing with the cult personality. They expect "worldly" people under the influence of "satan" to try and get them to "draw away" from the "truth". The JW's train their converts to resist such "opposer", and she's been primed to respond to any argument you may have. As best you can, you need to be as cooperative and calm with this cult personality. Otherwise, she may cut you off, cut you off from access to your children.

    Third, come up with a strategy. What do you want? Do you want your old love back? This may not be possible. With patience and gentleness, you may be able to bring the old personality back, but that often take years. You might have to marry this new JW-woman to stay involved in her life. Are you prepared, the way your relationship is right now, to make that commitment?

    Or, perhaps, are you willing to live with a compromise, where the two of you agree on mutual respect for your differing beliefs? In this case, you will have to be in your own apartment. Under no circumstances are you to relinquish custody of your shared children. They are innocents, and they don't need to be dragged in to this religion.

    I fear a "worst case" scenario, where the elders in your loved-one's congregation deem you to be a "spiritual endagerment" and encourage your sweetheart to break up with you. This will further disrupt your shared children. This is why I consider it key for you to make peace with the "cult personality". If you appear supportive or at least neutral to your partner's religious ambitions, she is going to have to make up her mind about you. She won't be approved for baptism until she comes to a moral resolution. That is, either marriage or permanent separation.

    I don't think there is any danger in meeting with the elders. You seem to have a fairly sensitive BS meter. Also, remember that they have no spiritual authority over you.

  • serendipity

    Hi Dondi, welcome to the forum!

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