What would it be like if I weren't brain washed for over 20 years?

by NiecyMe 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • NiecyMe

    Sheepish...thank you. (and thank you everyone). It is very much a false guilt. I have learned a lot in the many years. I even started going to local church, but it ended the same thing. They want to claim that they are the true congregation of God. Are these people mad! Sometimes I wonder why there are so many stupid people in the world. Over the years I have studied and studied the Bible, reading it through about 5 times so far. So, many people are so wrong. The way the words are twisted, making one scripture contradict the others. The Bible is what it is (a Guide Book to a better life). No more NO Less!! People want to pretend that there is some type of Omega message between the lines. I do believe that some of what JW's teach is true, but not much. I have also found truth in many other religions, but in all there are many lies. There is only 2 words that I have ever had for all of them "prove it." The funny thing is ..that is what Jehovah will be asking them to on judgement day. I and I only I will have to answer to only him. ....and by the way ...here's a little fact...in the orginal versions of the Bible (the scrolls)...God was never refered to as a male or female (look it up). Maybe we insult "him" every time we open our mouths, by referring to "him" as a male..in turn a human. God is no human. So, maybe "he" isn't listening to anyone and what JW's say is true...we are in hell. Maybe, Paradise has already come for those that deserved it. I mean think about it..if we were in hell why would Satan want us to know, that would defeat the purpose of the torture. What do you think?

  • geevee

    Hi and welcome,

    As has been said, I could mirror the thoughts that you have written too. My wife is 3rd generation JW and I am 2nd. Having spent all our formative years in the borg, and now mid forties we have ceased. Not DF or DA, just stopped going.

    I think that to unhook, we need to understand, and it seems that you are doing that, that the WTS is not God's organization, just a group of old men muddling in peoples lives, with selfish intent, holding you back from whatever life has to offer. We have read heaps, books, forum posts, listened to peoples testimonies from JW Info, and broken down the teachings by reading alternate points of view like Carl Olaf Jonnson and Ray Franz etc. One the high and mighty walls come down, the guilt factor reduces too.

    I love this forum, so many diverse points of view and the one thing that many posters have in common was that we were all conned......bad. Most seemed to take a fairly severe hit [a big theocratic upset] before we began to unlock our brains, [that had been force fed crap for so long].

    My 2 cents worth.

    Keep focussing on the peace. Enjoy your tuesday and thursday evenings and sleeping in on sunday mornings, sitting in bed drinking coffee and reading the news paper...... :-)))

  • under74

    Hi Niecy, welcome to the board.

    I left with my family when I was around 15-16. It wasn't until 15 years later that I ended up here because I realized where my difficulties with people and family came from. I don't have the guilt with holidays but I can't say the same for the rest of my family. I don't ever expect to get to a type of "baby fresh" state but I know that being here, getting advice from other posters, a good history of the WT, and just knowing I'm not alone has helped.

    It wasn't until this last year that I was actually able to tell long time friends how I was raised--yes, many of them don't understand even if I try to inform them but a couple don't know what it was like to be raised that way, they know a little bit about the JWs and are supportive.

    PS- good to see another Washingtonian on the board

  • garybuss

    Welcome! I walked away in 1974 when I was 30, and I was a subconscious believer until I read Crisis Of Conscience in 1992. Then I spent 5 years dismantling myself and when I went to put myself back together, the pieces didn't fit.


  • stopthepain

    Welcome,I can relate to your story.It sounds that you are truly mentally free.There will always be scars and bad memories,you can't erase them.Thats my opinion.STP

  • ferret

    I would like to tell you of mine and others experiences who have left the J dubs. We all

    agree it takes about five years to completely get free from wt thinking. i spent forty

    years as a dub, have now been out for 25 years. This is a great site to help new ex jw's

    heal. So newbie stay close by.

  • greendawn

    Welcome to the forum Nicey and that was an eloquent post that describes the feelings of perhaps most ex JWs, there is something strange in religion that strongly resists rational inquiry and efforts to overcome it.

    For me the way was to sit down and read extensively on what serious Christian religions believed about the whole range of issues touched by the JWs. Also on their real history and behaviour. After my awareness on the above expanded to a certain critical point the WTS spell was broken. The key is to make the effort to get fully informed, enlightened.

  • jonsey


    First of all welcome as the others have welcomed me. I was brought up as a JW. I am going through a situation were my mother has sent me a letter stating her stand with the congregation. I never thought I would see this day but...then again I did. It looks like 2006 that it will be the year than my parents and brother will turn thier backs on me. I came to this site and Nicey...I can say that within minutes...I had gotten encouragement and ddid not feel alone.

    On another note...as to recognizing you...unless you were in upstate N.Y. I don't think we ran into each other. I am glad you are here now!



    If you read my profile you'll see that you can't have a much deeper involvement in the JWs than I did. I have no regrets or feelings of guilt that I'm doing something wrong by celebrating birthdays or holidays. The only problem I've had is that because I didn't do these things for 49 years, sometimes its hard to get into the spirit of things that others have because they have participated since infancy. My two children who are 18 and 23 seem to have the same problem. I hope that when I have grandchildren I can see them truly enjoy birthdays and holidays. I wish I hadn't been brainwashed since infancy with the strictest of JW parents but life is good. Is your glass half full or half empty? I have a dear friend who came out of the JWs at 78. He tells me life is good and he is so glad to be free of the lies and guilt. He does christmas and holidays to a limited degree because of his wife who is still a JW. His only wish is that she and one of his daughers could get their heads screwed on straight and leave the JWs. He's thankful that one daughter and his grandchildren and great children are free of this mess. He's now 83 and going strong. Life is just life. It's what you do with it that counts. Count your blessings and live!!!!

  • stillajwexelder

    yes the JW cult feeds on guilt - it is not easy to overcome

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