I was reading on the web about gays and JW's. First of all I am gay. I am not saying I am sorry as I don't feel there is anything bad about it. I have lived with my domestic partner for 14 years and am not interested in anyones husband or children. The thing that cracks me up though is that it is ok to be gay in the JW groups as long as you don't have sex with anyone. Of course they encourage us to marry as long as its with a woman. How many of you dads out there would like me to marry your daughters knowing I am gay? I think the JW's have there heads up a very dark place to think such a thing. Live and let live as long as you don't harm others.
Doctrine on Homosexuality
Being bisexual and growing up in a small town congregation really opened my eyes to how things really are. They certainly do not have a live and let live attitude whatever the official policy is. I remember at parties when the self righteous ones would talk about how it made them sick to watch movies they knew had a gay actor or actress in them. Some youths would talk about how they would violently beat or kill gay people if they had a chance, and get big laughs for it; that is definitely not a loving Christian attitude.
I remember public talks that condemned gays and said that aids was the full recompense for their error, even asserting that homosexuals caused aids in the first place. Needless to say I was apalled and my best friend at the time gave me the most sympathetic looks throughout the whole meeting. He has since left the organization as well.
When one youth found out about my sexuality, she actually threw up. And now will not even look at me on the street; she crosses to the other side as soon as she sees me.
I would say there is a lot of hatred for gays in the organization and the only way to "manage" would be to be a complete closet case. This being extremely unhealthy in my opinion, especially while they are trying to teach you to hate yourself, the only recourse I found was to leave. Since leaving I've realized what a gift my sexuality is and how it helped save my life from this destructive organization. Though I certainly have faced a lot of prejudice outside as well. There are some even on this board who publicly dismiss everything I post for being queer. But I certainly understand what you are saying in your post.
I was brought up with a JW mindset on sexual morals from about 9 years of age. The guy that did bible study with me was a super friend mentor of mine. I really needed someone like that around at that sad point in my life. Eventually he left the org. then about a year later we met up as he wanted to tell me something. I still remember the moment and the scene in the freezing cold car. He asked me not to freak out at what I'm about to hear and just think. So he told me he was gay and felt that way from the young age of seven and couldn't live the lie anymore. He had no other life other than JW life.
Well my stomach started to churn and I thought I was going to vomit in my own car. The poor guy kept asking me if I was OK. I couldn't believe my best friend whom I'd look up to was this abomination. As I regained my composure everything started to make sense.
Because I was still in with the JWs he asked me if I would still be his friend which he dearly wanted but that I didn't have to answer him right now in the car. So I said OK I'll call him in a couple of days to give him my answer. I think I already knew my answer.
Its funny how someone can find out your gay and all of a sudden act like they didn't know you. Being gay is not an animal instinct. Straight people have nothing to fear. We don't prey on you or your kids, we love just like other people, pay taxes, pray and worship just like you, we just love someone who happens to be the same sex as we are. Most of my partners and my friends are straight, someone once said, "So what do you call Stan and Dave?" his reply was "Stan and Dave" I think God made us all for some reason, we are not to judge. The thing that gets me the most is how people think we are out there to nail there children, not true, not true at all.
Absurdly enough, it is only their attempt to "live according to the flesh" that elicits their cultural stance on the matter.
With a spiritual attitude they may have understood and discerned that it is effeminacy of spirit, and mind, which is degrading for people - but obviously not.
Shameless acts with others of same persuasion? The wtbts is leader to my mind.
Were u ever a JW Dave?
Glad to have you on board, you'll find there are quite a few of us here on this list. I have only been with my partner four years, but I was a witness until my mid thirties and didn't come out until I was 42. Because I was trying to be straight, trying to do "right." The sad thing is, it isn't just yourself you hurt when you try to live out that lie. If you get married to try to "cure" your gayness, you'll hurt yourself and your spouse. The WTS has a lot to answer for in terms of their policies on blood, and on child molestation, but in this case they are very like other fundy religions in their condemnation of the way we were made.
Someday one can only hope that people will be more inclusive. I think that the world has a stereotype of us and how we are. I think that stereotype is fed by bible literalists that pick and choose which doctrines they hold on to that supports their inner insecurities and bigotry. You know and I know that it has little to do with who we are. In my case, being a woman, its a bit less because men don't feel threatened (often quite the opposite) and women are USUALLY more tolerant than men and don't feel threatened.
Anyway, enough of that soapbox, I look forward to hearing more from you, glad to meet you!
it is effeminacy of spirit, and mind, which is degrading for people
Speaking of stereotypes!
Who's the "they" you're referring to? Gay people or the WTS?
Stop speaking in riddles, man, if you want people to understand you! ;)
The thing that cracks me up though is that it is ok to be gay in the JW groups as long as you don't have sex with anyone.
Not really.They may tell you that to your face but behind your back there are whispers and comments made. Will you be invited to social gatherings? I doubt it. JW's are good at not only shunning those on the outside but also those inside who are not in the mainstream group.
I would say there is a lot of hatred for gays in the organization and the only way to "manage" would be to be a complete closet case.
That sounds a lot like the U.S. military...Don't tell and we won't ask. They need the troops..