A Fanatical JW...

by stillAwitness 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • stillAwitness

    A fanatical JW...

    -Thinks the Tsunami and Hurrican Katrina are signs the Satan is becoming more resilient in his quest to take over the world!

    -Keeps tracts in their back pocket to place in the grocery line.

    -Thinks Dr. Phil is "Satan's Little Helper"

    -Quickly turns the channel when a TV cormercial for Viagra comes on

  • seesthesky

    wow - that was funny - thx

  • GoingGoingGone

    - Goes to bed at 11:30 pm on New Years Eve.

    - Hands out tracts to kids knocking on Halloween.

    - Drives a 4-door sedan, preferably a minivan, because they make such good service cars.


  • stillAwitness

    good ones GGG!

  • Mysterious

    -Puts on 'kingdom melodies' when they entertain so as not to stumble anyone
    -Has skirts of various hem lengths depending on current thought at the time
    -Avoids shopping in December so no one thinks it's xmas shopping
    -Makes sure to not wear red for the entire month of february
    -Treats holidays as special field service activity days
    -Doesn't watch anything that isn't rated G
    -Considers the song of solomon as close to pornography as he will ever get
    -Makes sure there is literature everywhere whenever anyone comes over
    -Has done up a time sheet to maximize hours possible to spend in service during pioneer months
    -Makes handy reference notes to use to "explain" doctrines
    -Refers to bands as playing "heavy metal" though no one else does this anymore
    -Thinks a good conversation is anything "theocratic"
    -Doesn't count time for coffee breaks
    -Avoids the internet and would never play video games

  • AlmostAtheist

    -Doesn't get that this thread is funny

  • atypical

    -Can turn any conversation into a reason why jws have it so much better than the rest of the world

    -Has an excuse for any kind of behavior if it involves a jw in good standing

    -Has a codemnation for any kind of behavior if it involves a worldly person or an inactive/df'd/da'd jw

    -Thanks Jehovah for any good thing that happens, no matter how small

    -Blames Satan for any bad thing that happens, no matter how small

  • DannyHaszard

    You just read my profile for 33 years of JW life.

    What is an apostate?Defined as a 'devout believer turned destroyer' yep that would be Danny Haszard Bangor Maine

  • dedpoet

    Some of this stuff would have applied to me 10 years ago

    Keeps tracts in their back pocket to place in the grocery line ...... been there, done that

    doesn't think this thread is funny ....... well, I do think it's funny, so I must be recovering

    Nice thread stilla


  • Inquisitor

    ...would not describe the above behaviors fanatical, but would prefer adjectives like "spiritual-minded", "zealous", "godly", "righteous".

    ...would have no qualms calling any member of Christendom with the same pattern of behaviour "fanatical".


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