My Unhappiness is because of Witness Thinking I have not given up

by joelbear 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  LDH

  Christmas Hugs, Joel.

  Somehow, I am still the chosen one or part of the chosen people that needs to judge others according to their behavior and mark those who don't comply.

  Last night JT and I had a long conversation, and we were talking about the Witnesses need to be RIGHT about everything, not just religion.

  Not only do I recommend "reflection" which has already been mentioned, but also a technique I've developed for some years.

  A simple sentence-- "I've never thought about it like that!" Relieves the pressure of having to answer tit for tat (a time honored JW tradition) but it frees you from having to make judgement, period!

  I do hope you're doing well. It's so good to have you on the board because there are so many lurkers dealing with these same issues and yet they are not able to voice them as clearly as you have.

  Lisa
• 

  cheezy

  Agree in principle with your observations, Joel, and all that has been said by those with experience. And BTW, good on you for the courage to look deeply within.

  The fact is, (and of course I'm right),

  that none of us really know what

  our lives would have been like

  without the influence of JW-ism

  But I do know that you don't have to be

  exposed to JW-ism to experience perfectionism and self-doubt.

  Most of the great philosophies address, in some way, the wisdom of living in the moment - we have to constantly be reminded to strive for this goal, because we forget constantly.

  While I blame JW-ism for a crummy start and some lingering baggage - some of my problems are just common to the human race.

  I think it helps to not feel like the helpless victim in absolutely everything.
• 

  serendipity

  (((Joel)))

  I appreciate your honesty. Now that you know what thought patterns are self-defeating you can take actions to shut them down. I was a perfectionist before I became a JW, because my mother was a perfectionist. I didn't start making significant headway until I read a book and did the exercises in it. The title: "Never Good Enough. Freeing Yourself from the Chains of Perfectionism" by Monica Ramirez Basco. Once I made a little progress in this area, I felt much better about life and could tackle some of my other problems.
• 

  freedomlover

  great thread joelbear....

  can totally relate. not only do I have the witness perfectionism but I had two parents who were drill sargeants at home about everything. perfection was a must for us children.

  it was so hard to maintain. life is so much easier to let go and not be judgemental. it's a constant struggle for me, but I'm getting better at it over time.

  glad to see you feeling so much better. it made my day, seriously! freedomlover
• 

  nilfun

  I liken the JW "symptoms", which we all go through, as poisons leeching out from our bodies as we come to a closer understanding of the reality. The JWs have had decades to fine-tune their cultic hold. For us to break free takes courage and tenacity. No one said we would immediately become completely free; it takes some people a matter of weeks and others years. The good news is that eventually we really do get free!

  That's a keeper. Thanks for that; it's just what I needed to read today.
• 

  greendawn

  The WTS spell is hard to shake off but it can be done, it will take studying in depth and expanding your awareness on all the JW related issues that beset you. That is the key developping a broad awareness.
• 

  yaddayadda

  
  Most likely your continued depression and anxiety is related to your sexuality. Healthy sexuality is a natural expression arising from a real, committed loving relationship with a partner. That is why, statistically, there is a higher incidence of depression and unhappiness amongst homosexuals. There is a much higher rate of promiscuity amongst gays than heterosexuals.
• 

  Golf
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  Abaddon

  yaddayadda

  You must be very proud. An entire thread of people showing love, concern and support - and you're the exception. You exclude the cult as being in any way responsible for problems. You exclude societal condemnation as being the root of many negative issues effecting homosexuals. Simplistic and wrong.

  Merry Christmas - go and flamebait somewhere else...
• 

  zagor

  do me a favour, take a ketchup souce and throw it onto the wall.
  Throw all those feeling with it too.

  Now sit and laugh at the situation. You have an extra thing to clean, but never mind allow yourself to act silly sometimes.

  Do things like that from time to time just to break routine and set stream of deeply rooted thoughts.

  Don't take everything seriously, just do something sometimes for the F&@k of it, yeah just do it, and you'll feel great for it.

  You are allowed to be human, after all you can't be any more than that anyway so why keep trying.