Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Sh*t List

by FlyingHighNow 8 Replies latest social humour

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    If anyone has posted this before, my profound apologies. I copied it from elsewhere on this vast thing we call the internet. PS: Jehovah's Witnesses do get a mention. Scroll down. Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Sh*t List

    * Taoism: Sh*t happens.
    * Confucianism: Confucius say, "Sh*t happens."
    * Buddhism: If sh*t happens, it isn't really sh*t.
    * Zen Buddhism: Sh*t is, and is not.
    * Zen Buddhism ..2: What is the sound of sh*t happening?
    * Hinduism: This sh*t has happened before.
    * Islam: If sh*t happens, it is the will of Allah.
    * Islam ..2: If sh*t happens, kill the person responsible.
    * Islam ..3: If sh*t happens, blame Israel.
    * Catholicism: If sh*t happens, you deserve it.
    * Protestantism: Let sh*t happen to someone else.
    * Presbyterian: This sh*t was bound to happen.
    * Episcopalian: It's not so bad if sh*t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
    * Methodist: It's not so bad if sh*t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
    * Congregationalist: Sh*t that happens to one person is just as good as sh*t that happens to another.
    * Unitarian: Sh*t that happens to one person is just as bad as sh*t that happens to another.
    * Lutheran: If sh*t happens, don't talk about it.
    * Fundamentalism: If sh*t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
    * Fundamentalism ..2: If sh*t happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
    * Fundamentalism ..3: Sh*t must be born again.
    * Judaism: Why does this sh*t always happen to us?
    * Calvinism: Sh*t happens because you don't work.
    * Seventh Day Adventism: No sh*t shall happen on Saturday.
    * Creationism: God made all sh*t.
    * Secular Humanism: Sh*t evolves.
    * Christian Science: When sh*t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
    * Christian Science ..2: Sh*t happening is all in your mind. * Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this sh*t.
    * Quakers: Let us not fight over this sh*t.
    * Utopianism: This sh*t does not stink.
    * Darwinism: This sh*t was once food.
    * Capitalism: That's MY sh*t.
    * Communism: It's everybody's sh*t.
    * Feminism: Men are sh*t.
    * Chauvinism: We may be sh*t, but you can't live without us...
    * Commercialism: Let's package this sh*t.
    * Impressionism: From a distance, sh*t looks like a garden.
    * Idolism: Let's bronze this sh*t.
    * Existentialism: Sh*t doesn't happen; sh*t IS.
    * Existentialism ..2: What is sh*t, anyway?
    * Stoicism: This sh*t is good for me.
    * Hedonism: There is nothing like a good sh*t happening!
    * Mormonism: God sent us this sh*t.
    * Mormonism ..2: This sh*t is going to happen again.
    * Wiccan: An it harm none, let sh*t happen.
    * Scientology: If sh*t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
    * Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Sh*t happens.
    * Jehovah's Witnesses ..2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our sh*t?
    * Jehovah's Witnesses ..3: Sh*t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.* Moonies: Only really happy sh*t happens. <...........that's funny
    * Hare Krishna: Sh*t happens, rama rama.
    * Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this sh*t!
    * Zoroastrianism: Sh*t happens half on the time.
    * Church of SubGenius: BoB sh*ts.
    * Practical: Deal with sh*t one day at a time.
    * Agnostic: Sh*t might have happened; then again, maybe not. <........that one is, too.
    * Agnostic ..2: Did someone sh*t?
    * Agnostic ..3: What is this sh*t?
    * Satanism: SNEPPAH T*HS.
    * Atheism: What sh*t?
    * Atheism ..2: I can't believe this sh*t!
    * Nihilism: No sh*t.
    * And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Sh*t happens-one day at a time!

  • Spectre
    Spectre

    Holy shit thats funny.

  • Gretchen956
    Gretchen956

    Very funny shit!!

    I once saw a chicken crosses the road with spins on the various religions giving their reasons why the chicken crossed the road, too funny. Its probably been posted before.

    Sherry

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    ha,ha my Dad must have been a Calvin!

    * Calvinism: Sh*t happens because you don't work.

    He always told us; "if you're gunna act like a sh*t go lay in the yard."

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    well it was really hard to ick one or two, but my personla favs are

    Existentialism: Sh*t doesn't happen; sh*t IS.

    * Existentialism ..2: What is sh*t, anyway?

    weds

  • misspeaches
    misspeaches

    LOL... my favs are the JW ones because they are so very very true!

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Now's as good a time as any to BTTT

  • Legolas
    Legolas

    LOL..I have seen that before it is funny!

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    At my age, I can't recall if I've seen it before or not. But yes, quite funny.

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